The black race did not accept my child

Ijeoma - posted on 03/29/2010

yeah i know what you mean dear. my black pals tend to see my wee boy as white, not part of them"black race" and some even go ahead further to think that makes him better!! WEIRD!! I find myself most times trying to defend myself and my little one wh is still only 7mths +, but his father's friend tend to see wee Phillip as Scottish and part of them, dats all. Never mentionedit to my husband. But i am not really worried cos we live in a predominantly white community and if there is one thing i am aure of is letting Phillip when he grows older understand and appreciate hisself cos prejudice comes from both sides as well.

Mauri - posted on 03/29/2010

I was constantly teased in grammar school about "not being black." They would say I talk white, call me white girl. Strangely, the Haitian girl who was lighter than me with wavy hair didn't get teased as far as I could tell. I didn't know the extent of my heritage like I do now (African American, 4 types of Native American, Hispanic, white and Asian) so at the time it filled me with shame because as far as I knew, I was black. In middle school no one made any comments and in High School I was considered black (being the only person of African American descent in my grade.) I have no clue what to expect when Anakin goes to school, but I hope with more beautiful mixed babies being born it won't be a big deal.

Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2010

I also have a mixed daughter , and she just started school this year. Almost all of the kids in her school are black and always asking her why she is so light skinned. Have you had any good advice to pass down. I dont want my daughter feeling like she is any different just because she is light. I am trying to teach her that color doesn't matter but it's really hard when the kids at school are talking to her like it does.

Deana - posted on 03/10/2010

I am mixed and growing up I had issues with kids but it was from both races, mostly from the white kids though. Now that I am older I do have friend of both races, however, I feel more comfortable with my black friends, they understand me better. Hopefully he will not be so bitter when he reaches adulthood, but I must say that is a sting that may never fully go away.

Heather - posted on 01/28/2010

How sad is that... Kids only know what they are taught and after all the world has been through you would think we would have overcome all of that. Both of my sons are biracial and I have never had any problems with them not fitting in or having friends. I am so sorry he had to deal with such ignorance.

Shavaune - posted on 01/27/2010

I have the same problem right now. I live in Canada and my son's father is Native American. My children all look really fair skinned and my oldest has blue eyes. I've always taught him about both our cultures and family backgrounds in a positive way and their really proud of what they are. Lately my 2 oldest have been coming home from school telling me that the other Native kids don't believe them when they say their dad is Native. Their told that their too white looking, which is probably coming from their parents. I just tell them that they know who they are and they don't need anyone to tell them different. I tell them that ignorance doesn't have a color, it's on the inside, and that they have to ignore ignorant people. Oddly they have no problem with white kids though. Kind of the opposite of what i thought it would be. Sad

Carole - posted on 01/23/2010

My children are as I am a combined mixture of love and yes we all went through that ignorant mess but you have to keep your head up and be strong. You have to realize that these children who are causing all that stress come from ignorant parents who have nothing better to do but hate on everyone and everything that doesn't look or behave as they do . As Pam said in her post maybe you should seek out other muticultural family's in your community for support. I am grateful and blessed that I came from a multicultural family ,it made me a stronger person. God bless you and God bless all the other moms on this page , take care.

LeAndrea - posted on 01/23/2010

Prejudice and ignorance can come in any race, creed or color. This doesn't surprise me on bit. Everyone goes through being an outcast for many different reasons... Just make sure your kids are proud of who they are inside and out. That is the best way to combat social issue.

Natalie - posted on 01/22/2010

I'm so sorry he has to go through this!
I haven't really experienced anything like this so far. My son is only 4 and he started pre-school last summer and he has lots of friends. He also has 2 other little biracial boys in his class and he's pretty much friends with everyone.
But i think that's really one good thing about him going to a school on a military base. Since military travels so much most are pretty open to other races and also multi-racial people.

I am from germany and we have about 3 or 4 bases very close to that town so german ladies getting involved with Soldiers/Airman/Marines etc. is normal and therefor we have lots of multi-racial kids there. I think it's great!
Of course there are always people who tend to only have friends of their race or whatever but who needs them anyway?
They're not worth it! You want someone who is open-minded and doesn't care about outside appearances.

Robyn - posted on 01/22/2010

I had twins whom look more black than white, 10 now, but when they were still small babies a black woman at the mall just randomly decided to tell me "Your kids aren't real black babies." While I am more of an avoidance type of person, my friend who was with me isn't. She responded "Your kids are real ugly though." They proceeded into a chick fight! lol

My girls recently were put in a mostly white school due to my moving and it has been very hard on them. They were in a very nicely racially mixed school before. They don't have many friends, but the one or two they have we have over a lot to try to build these relationships. It's easier on them when they have an ally.

Jeanie - posted on 11/19/2009

I have two beautiful grown sons from a mixed race marriage of twenty four years. We taught them love everyone as u would want to be loved and they grew up with lots of hassles in life but went thru school with some friends but were extremely intelligent.... one made it to the top seven of his class of 300. So to all those out there with the biracial children love them and give them the respect that is needed and just let them live their life and make their decisions because in these times there is still predjustice but life goes on we must educate these people that know no better than to put our children down.

Audrey - posted on 11/18/2009

I just had my second son, my husband is black and i am white but my kids look white. They both have big blue eyes and brown hair with just a little wave in it. I know people give us looks when we are out because they look at my kids weird when they call my husband dad, you can tell they are like he doesn't look like there dad!! I pray that my sons don't have to go through what your son went through. My neighborhood is 90% white and all my neighbors love my kids. God made us who we are and what doesn't kill us will always make us stronger!! Just keep teaching your kids right from wrong and they will grow up to great adults and know to love people for who they are and not for the color of their skin!!

Denise - posted on 11/18/2009

my youngest 2 children are mixed (black-white-hispanic) but they both look white - where we live, the school they attend has quite a few of what i like to call "rednecks" - when my 15 yr old hears the other kids make racial comments/slurs, he gets offended - the other kids don't understand why because they think he's "1 of them" - NOT! he gets on their case whenever they say or do something he's offended by (or if they offend some1 else) - this really bothers me because i like to think that i'm raising my children not to see color but where we live makes that difficult... i think that as a mother you have done a great job helping him to overcome his struggle - keep your head up & keep doing what you're doing - your girls have an excellent role model in you ☺

Gloria - posted on 11/18/2009

I'm sorry that your son had to go through this. Where do you live? My grand kids are very young but have been in daycare since birth and we have not had this, Praise God. My grandson is 3 now and of course the baby is only 8 months old. We take them to church daycare as well and we are Blessed with a hugely diverse congregation. We have all races, colors, ethnically families...again Praise God for His goodness. Teach your children the Truth and pray about this, God will answer your prayers in His time. Take care and God Bless you.

Michellene - posted on 11/17/2009

Do you think it's demographic? I am white and my ex is black. Our kids are accepted widely amongst their peers. My 11 year old said he has friends that don't say anything about being bi-racial. Where are you located?

Shanika - posted on 11/17/2009

Well I don't know what exactly your child is mixed with? But I have to say that my son Kahleb is mixed with white and he had the exact same problem only difference is the kids didn't want him as a secret friend he had to fight everyday... Unfortunately some children are just ignorant to this only because their parents don't influence them or would even take the time to teach them about other races... But I would also like to add that is not the black race.. It's just the ones who don't know anything other than what they are used too. Here's some advice you can't always protect your children from kids at school or the world in that case the best you can do is tell them they never have to defend or explain who they are! If someone don't understand their skin tone or hair texture than allow them to worry theirselves trying to figure that out. Stay strong and be proud of you.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/17/2009

I've never really experienced that,although my daughter is only 11 months old.Everyone looks beyond her race.Her daddy is black and I am white.I am sure she will experience this in the future,but as parents all we can do is let them know not to listin to people like that.And as you said,most kids who say things like that get it from thier parents.As they grow up they will learn that race doesn't matter.

Kimberly - posted on 11/17/2009

It really depends on where you live, I could tell you some storys! But join a church where color does not matter he can be in a lot of activitys there. Always let him know know God made him special its the other children problems of prejudice parents feel sorry for them Because he will be a great Man one day there loss. belive me I know what you are going through.

Lynda - posted on 11/17/2009

I'm so sorry to hear about what your son is going thru. I'm 19 and never had a problem in school cause there were alot of bi-racial students. But my mom did have a problem with my grandmother when she was pregnant with me due to the fact that I was going to be a bi-racial baby. My grandmother didn't like the fact that my mom was pregnant by a black man & didn't like my father in general. She wanted my mom to give me up for adoption & when she visited my mom in the hospital after having me she actually brought my mom flowers saying your doing the right thing. Because she thought my mom actually did put me up for adoption but she didn't. I stayed with my moms very close friend who i was named after. My grandmother didn't see me til I was almost a year old. Now my grandmother is in my life has been since she found out I wasn't really out up for adoption but after that my grandmother has never said she did that & when my mom confronted her on it about 2 years ago she called her a liar & they havn't talked since. I know my mom wouldn't lie to me about something like that. And in a way me & my little brother can tell that we are treated alittle different from the rest of our family. My grandparents raised my older sister & we can feel the difference in our relationships. I love my grandmother but its still hard trying to figure out what I did so wrong before I was even born.



I hope your son & daughters don't have anymore problems with these rude people! Hopefully one day people will realise that theirs no need for acting like that.

JoLynn - posted on 11/17/2009

Wow. I am not here to deny anything that you and your son have gone through together, growing up multi-ethnic myself- I know exactly what you're referring to. But I must take issue with how you chose to title your post. Saying that an entire "race" of people do not accept your son based on the actions of a few children at his school is speaking in broad terms, at the very least. Your son is also 14 now. Your girls are obviously much younger. It amazes me how much has changed in people's attitudes and views, in general, in the past few years. I think that you should try to keep an open heart and an open mind as your girls are starting school, you may be pleasantly surprised. The truth is, we can't protect our kids from everything. Someone somewhere will always have something negative to say, or some mean agenda. All you can do is help your kids to know who they are and that they are loved and cherished just as they are. Let them know they have a purpose in this life and that they are here for a reason and they will surely thrive in the face of any adversity they encounter.

Heilala - posted on 11/17/2009

Wow, I am in complete shock. Where I live, everyone ADORES biracial people, ESPECIALLY their kids. I'm so sorry for what you have to go through, and especially what you're kids have to go through. My son is half Tongan, half El Salvadoraian. Everyone we we meet absolutely loves him, and thinks he's the most beautiful little boy. I bet your kids are the same. (I think biracial children are absolutely BEAUTIFUL.) It breaks my heart that they aren't accepted by part of who they are. Keep standing strong momma! I think you're doing a wonderful job standing behind them, and even speaking out like this, even if it's just on FB.You're not only making a difference in their lives, but in our lives also. Thank you for sharing your experiences, even if they aren't good ones. I wish I knew how to help, but it's helped me open my eyes to the prejudices out there. I live in a dominant white area, so I never really fit in. Hang in there! Your children will appreciate it and admire you for it. I know I do :)

Chastity - posted on 11/16/2009

Thank you Angel Im glad there is this group because nobody really understands until they are put in that position so thank you for sharing it gives lite to different situations!

Angel - posted on 11/16/2009

Thank you for all the support.
Meagen I am sorry you have to go through that, stay strong. Parents are supposed to set the example and it is sad when they do not.
Thank you Chastity it floored me when I found out what he was going through, the kids would try and fight him but he was so tall and strong so they ended that. He was safe but they go in his head. Pam I find that I feel comfortable around people that can relate to the things i am going through. I have several friends with bi racial kids and our kids play well together. They are a rainbow of colors but they kids dont care at all.

I think you are right Diane, jealousy may play a part, funny thing is kids just want friends and to play. They should not have to worry about color of skin or what nationality a person is.

Brittaney if you ever do have a bi racial child your world will be opened in a whole different way. No a bad way. You will find groups like this one to join.

Alicia thank you for your support. Maryland is a nice place but it has it share of ignorance and you find it in the schools alot.

Sharon, we also get the looks when we are all out together. lol I dont mind the looks.

Jennifer, your kid sounds like a fighter. =) I wont let my kids deny any of their race, they are what they are black, white, indian. In other words mixed with lots of love. For a kid to just say they are black would be a slap in my white husbands face as if he did not exist or play a part in their creation. My daughter tells me no one is black just many shades of brown, so she looks at me like I am dumb when I say I am black.
Thank you Michelle your post did help me.
Chastity it does make the kids much stronger I think. It made my son very strong and he is comfortable with who he is. I hear him talking to his sisters telling them they are beautiful and explaining their color to them. He tells them not to care what people think about them. It is priceless.

Thank you all I loved all the support.

Meagen - posted on 11/16/2009

I live with a racist family so i know what u mean. I mean my mom loves my son but dont accept us. But as far my son everyone loves him.

Chastity - posted on 11/16/2009

I read this and it really touched me both of my kids are bi-racial..I am white and their dad is black. We live in a very small town without diversity at all. My son is 5 and goes to Kindergarten and luckily has not been affected by this yet but I know the day will come and it hurts to think kids can be so cruel. My daughter is 2 and I only hope that things will go easy on her for i have been asked by so many if she is mine..is she adopted..people are so blind to the fact that it is a new time..time to move on! I thought that we have moved on but now by being in a relationship with a different race and having kids who i love with all my heart and would never change them being bi-racial see that some people never change and can be very cruel! I agree its not fair, but will it ever change I believe we jus have to prepare and hope for the best and if anything I hope my children only become stronger!

Michelle - posted on 11/15/2009

Where do you live? I am really surprised by this, Naive I guess. I have been lucky in this respect, both sides of the family totally accept my half black half white children. I have three two are adults now with children of their own. and I have an 8 year old son at home. None of them ever had any problems either way. I am so sorry that your son has. I am in California does geographic make a difference? I don't know. I know when my first born a girl was about three she was asked what was she, and she said well my Father is black and my Mom is white and I'm brown. Despite that my mom thought my children would have a difficult life because of the mix and predicted that whiter or black would reject them, it never happened. I'm sure my good fortune does not give you any answers or make you feel any, I hope that your daughters have a better experience, and I am glad that your son is accepting himself for who he is and caring less what others think. God bless you.

Jennifer - posted on 11/15/2009

My daughter had trouble being accepted by both black & white kids. She is Jamaican, Irish & Cherokee Indian, so basically, she looks Latin & everyone at school thinks she's Mexican & Puerto Rican. She will get up in their face & tell them she's Caramel! LOL It got real bad at one school w/one particular black girl who was really nasty to Divine & said to her one day, "you're colored whether you like it or not!" This really upset me because first of all, I hate the term "colored," it reminds me of the 50's & to me, screams racism which is something we don't tolerate in our household. So I told my daughter, you tell her I'm not colored, I'm Divine. :) Apparently the little girl expected Divine to play w/her because she was "colored" and Divine wanted nothing to do w/her because of her attitude. Some of the white kids have harassed her about her puffy hair & even started calling her Fluffy. It's usually the white kids around here that get ignorant w/her & ask her "well what are you?" I think it's a shame that the kids of today are so concerned w/race & you're right Angel, it's the parents we have to thank. I'm just glad there are other mom's like you & I out there, trying to teach our kids properly. As far as your daughter's go, I think it'll be harder for them & I hate to discourage you that way but girls are way meaner than boys. The white girls treat my daughter like crap sometimes because their little bfs like Divine because of her pretty skin or her curly hair & some of the black girls treat her like crap because of her gorgeous hair. There is nothing we can do to curb the way the other children think, all you can do is teach your kids right from wrong & keep up w/what you've already done. Under no circumstance should your son have to be anyone's secret friend!!!

Sharon - posted on 11/15/2009

I'm so sorry to hear of your child's problems. My children have never had a problem at school but my family gets plenty of looks. I have two white children from a previous marriage and I have two bi - racial children from my current marriage. One of my bi racial children looks mixed and the other is very much white looking and has blondish brown hair and green eyes. Even people we thought were our friends have questioned weather or not my white looking child belongs to my husband. My bi racial sister n law says those people are stupid cause my son quote" Has black features, wider nose and fuller lips" which he does.My child that looks mixed has smaller lips and a little button nose. We joke the genes got all mixed up. Hope things get better for you.

Alicia - posted on 11/15/2009

im white/native american nd my husband is black/native american! we have 2 beautiful bi-racial kids together! i am soooooooooo sorrryyy ur kids are experincing such ignorance! where we live we have no problem here because theres alot of mixed kids. theres not alot of racism here. thanks god! cuz i would be snappin! i will keep yu nd ur kids in my prayers! i hope things get better for yal! but IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK OR SAY ABOUT YU! GOD MADE EVERYONE THE WAY HE WANTED THEM TO BE! ND YU CANT ASK FOR ANYTHING BETTER THEN THAT ;]

Brittaney - posted on 11/15/2009

o wow, where do u live? my friend is black and her husband is white, and he has a white baby and then they have a baby between them and everyone i kno wouldn't really have a problem with it. i didn't see a lot of that in my school. i don't have any bi racial kids at the moment, but i want to prepare myself for when i do how people are going to react.

Diana - posted on 11/15/2009

Unfortunately, prejudice is still everywhere.......it is very sad!!! I felt it a bit when dating my first husband.......and the first day of picking up my son from daycare.....I did not look like his mother.....if I would should my I.D. ;-)) I come from a family where there are diverse races and cultures. I am sorry your son has to go thru something so terrible!!! How old are your girls??? Do they know what their brother went thru??? What kind of community do you live in?? Mostly black or white?? What about the school??



Jealousy may even be a factor..... I know when I go with my oldest(half Hispanic) and my 2 youngest (blond and blue-eyed) there are people with schock effected faces at times,LOL



Stay strong and let them know how special they are no matter what!!! There are so many bi racial marriages and kids in this day and time and love knows no color!!!

Pam - posted on 11/14/2009

Just wanted to say that I'm very sorry to hear that you're having this kind of trouble. I find it very shocking that this happens in these times. I'd encourage you to seek out other muticultural families in your community so you can create a safe-haven. Also you may want your girls to try nonschool activities like dance or Girl Scouts. Choose someplace nearby. This will increase your children's odds of meeting others who share common interests that may wind up in classes with them. Since all the kids will start new in Sept, the before-school friendships will give your girls the advantage of already knowing some other children.

Above all, continue to stand behind your children and make them feel loved. You cannot change how other people think. But do know you have a wealth of people here who support you. Big hugs :)

Angel - posted on 11/14/2009

Before I had mixed kids I never knew much about the struggles they would go through. I definitely did not think about reverse prejudice and how accepted it is in our society.

Melissa - posted on 11/14/2009

I know what you mean :( I experienced that quite a bit from ppl of a variety of races based on race. When I was in school not a day went by without someone asking me what race I was or what I was mixed with or being extremly rude. And, when my sister went to school (our moms black/white/native-american and her dads Slovakian) even the cafeteria lady was giving her a hard time! The cafeteria ladys daughter went to the school too and was "friends" with my sister but told my sister her mom didn't like races mixing and she was black also. This cafeteria lady actually harassed my sister and was extremly rude to me and my mom when we came to the school and she saw us!!My sister ended up going to another school :(