"They are my kids stop staring !"

Charlena - posted on 06/30/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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I'm black and my daughters father is Mexican , When I first had my daughter she came out white with big blue eyes , over a period of three years she is still very white with blue green eyes . I know theres a big difference between my daughter and I skin color , we go places and people just look and stare , then some people even have the nerve to ask me if she is my real child or did i steal her !!! ( like honestly those comments hurt she is my child i delivered her and I dont want to explain to people everyday that she is MY biological daughter ) well its been three years we still get stared at all the time , people still ask me 1 million and one questions and I do notice my self snapping at them but after three years wouldnt you get tired of trying to prove to people your child is your child ? i take her places like the park and when we leave my daughter cries because she hates leaving ( as any kid does ) and people come up to me and ask me if im her mother as if they are going to call the cops on me or something ! we just went to disneyland to see world of color and the ticket lady grabbed my daughters hand and asked her where her parents were ( even thou i was standing right next to her holding her hand !!!) now im 8 months pregnant with my son by the same man and i dont want to explode at people everytime with my two kids are with me , any advice ? should i make a shirt that says " they are my kids stop staring !" LOL

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Farrah - posted on 07/03/2010

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I have the same experience as you. My son has blond hair and blue eyes and is quite pale. I often get congratulated on adopting a child! :) But, fortunately, I kinda know how to deal with it since people gave me weird looks when they saw me with my dad (who is white--I'm biracial). It's all about the attitude--just act like they're the ignorant ones, and you're the open-minded, informed ones. Let them know you want to educate them (tactfully) about diverse families--NOT that you don't like standing out.

Meagan - posted on 07/15/2010

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Ok, I love the shirt idea!
My daughters half mexican, and I'm white. WHile I was pregnant, I was worried about her looking Mexican, and haaving to defend myself againt other people. Luckily (especially since there is no father), she looks exactly like me. Her skins a tiny bit darker, and she has light reddish brown hair, but she has matching eyes.
So, most people can't see the Mexican side of her. Which, doesnt bother me since I'm a single mom.
As terrible as this sounds, carry around their birth certificate, just in case someone DOES call the police. Or even doing things like getting their finger prints done (like one of those safety kits). Or maybe even getting them an ID. I know it IS possible to get kids an ID here and it's pretty inexpensive.
From one perspective, you should be greatful that they are looking out for your kids, so simply tell that that although you appriciate their concern, they are bi-racial and happen to look more like their father. And who knows, maybe your new baby will look like you! XP

Shani - posted on 06/30/2010

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yeah I have similar problems but not as bad i am latina and married to a white man he has dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. I have black hair and brown eyes, granted i am not a dark latina but a light colored one. When i go to the store people stare at me as well and some have come up and asked, "oh are these you boys?," or when i show people my kids on my phone they are shocked that my kids are white then they say oh your married to a white guy I thought your kids would be more dark. My oldest has dirty blond like his dad, my 2nd has dark brown and my new born has a brown also but they all have very white skin,t I admit they do look completely american. but it still hurts when they ask when they say oh i expected them to be brown or i didnt know you had blond kids or are they your step kids or even are they fromt he same father. Um noo i gave birth to them hello...... anyway i know what your going through it sucks i tell my husband all the time about this problem i have with people not understanding that i can be a mother of a diff skinn toned child but he only says he sorry he really doent know how it feels and yeah my mom had the same problem with my brother he came out with blue eyes dark brown hair and white skin

during parent teacher confrences or when she picked him up for the first timefrom school theyd think she was the baby sitter. anyway good luck i guess this is going to be a struggle we will have for having bi-racial babies. but its all good i love my kids and those people jst are naive

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29 Comments

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Felicia - posted on 07/16/2010

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I like the shirt idea too. You should add this is the 21st century get over it. I get looks too, but most of the time I just laugh and I will answer questions even if they are ignorant. This is our chance to educate people. Don't take it personally, they are strangers and they don't know you. Just explain to your kids so they are not negatively affected by some comments. If someone grabs your kid because they do not think the kid is yours I think you have the right to put them in their place.

Lydia - posted on 07/15/2010

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I am Brazilian, Moroccan, Spanish and Belgian and my Hubby is British, Belgian and Spanish.My great aunt told me never to get with a white man,then as if on cue my kids walked in and when she saw that they were half white,all she could say was "He BETTER treat you Right!"

Manon Alexe - posted on 07/12/2010

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I've had the same problem and to a certain point still have if we go out of our town (its more a village, with only 4000 people). I've had the adoption questions, the than she must look like her dad thing and whatever else. I've stopped listening and if I enter a place with people that I'm gonna be around for a bit, I tell them straight up, this is MY daughter, she dutch/zulu and no her dad and I are no longer together. Finish and klaar.... One time a lady came up to me and even complimented me on what I was doing for my daughter and I asked her what she meant, she said it was so fabulous I was giving her such a great future and that more kids should be so lucky. I than pointed out real nicely that she was infact NOT adopted and my daughter..that shut her up for a bit.

Jen - posted on 07/09/2010

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it happens to my husband all the time a lady once grabed my son and as where his mommy and daddy were my husband just called them and looked at the lady like touch MY CHILD AGAIN AND YOUR BE CARRIED OUT!

Jen - posted on 07/09/2010

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they do it to me too I deciced to just smile give my sons a hug and say tome thing in their fathers lang.

Nirmilla - posted on 07/07/2010

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Same situation here with me. My little girl is also biracial. Her father is jet black and I'm fair skinned indian. She's got her father's looks.... nothing of me. One day when she was a baby... was at the gas station filling up the jeep. The attendant asked who the child was for (its a small community so these questions arent strange coming from acquaintances)... so I tried explaining who the father was... after going through that longggggggg story... she says "kool, so who's the mother?".... lol...

Joelle - posted on 07/06/2010

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make three shirts one that says WE the next one says ARE the third one says FAMILY. people are so0 stupid sometimes its almost like seeing a baby dresssed in all blue and saying how pretty she is. it must be hard to deal with but ignore the ignorant people in the world

Ashley - posted on 07/06/2010

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People are always coming up talking to my kids too. Like I'm not even there. Ticks me off really. What really pushes my button is when they try touch them. Everyone loves their curly hair and they're so cure they all want to touch them. Some people even say they want to take them home. Freaks! How disrespectful and rude can you be?!?! Sometimes I want to just smack them and say, "Get away from my kids, pervert!"

Ashley - posted on 07/06/2010

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I know exactly how you feel. I am white, my babies daddy is black, so all our kids have come out caramel looking more mexican than like either of us. People do have the nerve to ask if they are our kids. Yes, we didn't adopt or steal them. I carried each of them in my belly and pushed each of em out on my own. I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and another on the way. It is very annoying how people just stare at them. Most of the time I really wish people would keep their facial expressions and their thoughts to themselves. Makes me feel almost like I should have to carry around their birth certificates just to say, "Yes you idiot! This is my child! All of them! Get out of my business!" Man.

Jennifer - posted on 07/06/2010

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People need to mind their own buisness. My kids are Hispanic and Italian and i'm very light and their Dad is very dark. All children of every color are beautiful and it doesn't matter what color they are. It never changes. People have no right to judge anyone.

Alejandra - posted on 07/06/2010

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I have that problem somewhat, but my husband has it more. I am hispanic(mexican) and my husband is black my kids are way lighter than him and a little darker than me people will stare at him when he is with the kids and some will give a worried look. It isn't until they see us all together that people start to put two and two together. I on the other hand like it i get to show off my family in front of people.

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This is soooooo true. A lady stopped me in the grocery store one day and asked if she could take a picture of my baby with her phone. It really makes me angry because even little kids stare at my baby girl and then ask their parents questions.

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I think you should make a shirt and I would buy it because I have the same problem lol. I'm black and my baby's father is hispanic, so my baby is waaaay lighter than me. People always stare at us when we're walking through the store. But they even did it to me and her father before she was born. I hate it and I snap back at people also. Keep snapping because they deserve it. We are in the year 2010 and they need to accept the fact that races mix.

Tracy - posted on 07/06/2010

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I am American Indian and mixed white, My sons are Hawaiian-PuertaRican-Japanese-Cherokee Indian. They are easily mistaken for many races, I too got asked if they were mine, but only after I moved out of Hawaii, I actually would get rude back (which solved nothing) saying "why yes I still have my episiotomy scar wanna see?? " my sons have never looked anything like me I really never feared for their lives till I watched their video after being harrased on the Am trak train, when I saw that employees as well as ICE were agressivly questioning what country they came from and where their passports were, conclusion they were looking for some Middle eastern Men, My heart sank when I saw one men push my youngest son almost hard enough to knock him down. All I can say is there will always be those who feel they can say or do what they want, I wish I had a magical answer, just give lots of hugs and reassurance that the child should be VERY proud of who they are.

Kelly - posted on 07/04/2010

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i have gone through the same thing but i always tell them they are my kids! and i take their hands and walk away, some people are
stuck in the old days , i just tell them that it is none of their
business and walk away, next time have your man with you and the kids and let those same people see who their daddy is and they will leave you alone then you will see how people
have changed their ways. p.s i'm white and my husband is black, and my kids are mixed .

Tyneisha - posted on 07/04/2010

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It comes with the territory. Being in a interracial relationship and having bi racial children is still really taboo to people. I'd just take it with a grain of salt because they're opinions aren't important. You will probably always be stared out. I don't get offended. It's amusing to me.

Desiree' - posted on 07/04/2010

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i have the same problem...we get a to of looks wen its just me and him cuz hes black and im white....but wen its just me and my daughters i get a lot of looks cuz im realy white and shes nice and tan...lol

Georgetta - posted on 07/04/2010

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I know wut u mean. I am black and my hubby is mixed (mexican, italian, polish) so my daughter is pale with greenish eyes. I guess it doesn't bother me if people stare because I am fair skinned and have always been treatedly differently by white and black people all my life. I guess the best thing it to ignore their ignorance. Sorry I can't offer more than that. Good luck.

Amy - posted on 07/04/2010

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i know this girl who has a baby that is VERYYYYY light, her and the daddy is dark skinned and everyone (even me at 1st) ask her if he is mixed... she was ssssssoooooooooooooo sick of ppl askin questions, she said she was guna wear a shirt that explained everythin lol... too funny! but just dont let folks get to you... not even respond to them!!! im sure ur so sick of answering the very same questions every single day!!!! GOOD LUCK hun

Tara - posted on 07/03/2010

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same thing here!!! my husband is black and i am white. even my husband has said that my kids look NOTHING like me! but i have learned to deal with it. i am so proud to be the mother of such beautiful children, that i really dont care what anyone else thinks!!! i know i gave birth to them!! when people ask you, hold your head high, and proudly say, YES, I GAVE BIRTH TO THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL!!

Nichelle - posted on 07/02/2010

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I get the same thing...my husband is platinum-blond haired and blue eyed, I'm chocolate and very dark-brown hair. Our daughter is almost as fair as her father with strawberry blond hair, dark hazel eyes, and looks like me. Our son is a shade lighter than me, same color hair and eyes as mine, looks just like his dad. When my girl was a month old, a lady came up to us in the store and asked me "oh she's so beautiful...is she yours?" I wanted to say "nope, stole her from the hospital an hour ago" but I didnt want her to call the cops on me! Ended up just saying "thanks" and walking away. Just chalked it up to ignorance and no home training. Whenever I'm with our girl or my hubby is with our boy, we get lots of strange looks, but you get used to it...we just teach them to love themselves and that they are unique and special.

LaWanda - posted on 07/01/2010

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It never stops and even if they were darker, people would assume they ar yours but ask personal questions. This lady stopped my in Wal-mrt, after following me and my two children for 5 mins. Giggle and whispering and says,"Oh your children are beautiful, what are they mixed with?" Thats none of her business, I just said thank you and walked away. And I keep a tight hold on my children because people are always walking up to talk to them and ask questions. I feel like they will take them away. What type of person tries to take your child out of your arms and they don't even know you? People are ignorant.

Danielle - posted on 07/01/2010

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Well i dont have that issue yet but i am sure i will. I am pregnant and i am mixed and the father is black. My dad has the same problem tho cuz i would be with him some where and they would ask him if i am his real child he tells them yeah and they jus stare all because i look like white but i am really mixed and he is black. So i feel your pain and i will feel it totally when I have mi lil girl cuz she will b mixed but dont let them get u down hold ya head up high and be proud of your kids we always gone have haters sum where....jus pray for them ppl....

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 07/01/2010

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I to have that problem. My man is Korean and I am black, so we are a couple that you don’t see very often, that alone gets us looks from people, mostly asian’s and other black people. We now have a 3month old son. My son looks full asian!!! He’s light, with the slanted eyes. People give me looks ALL THE TIME. I was actually talking with my mom about getting a shirt that says, "Yes he is my son"
I knew my son would come out with slanted eyes..that was a givin, but i thought my son would have mocha colored skinned...nope the little guy is a shade darker then his father. They say a baby can get darker, but i dont think my son will. so I understand 110% your frustration...on people looking to long and too darn hard!

Morinade - posted on 06/30/2010

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I also have the same issue. My girls are black, mexican and white. With my oldest people ask me if shes my cousin or my little sister. She's very light skinned and in no way shape or form looks half black. Everytime I go somewhere with their dad's sister people wil say to her oh she's so cute. what i do is say thank you to let em know she's all mine lol . My second daughter is almost as dark as me so no one ever ask me if shes my child. I think that most likely your son will probably have a darker skin tone.

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