whats up with Latino men?

Michelle - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 96 moms have responded )

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My daughter has this problem she is married to a spanish man. Please help me understand. I'm an american white female, raised to be independent and get a education. My husband does not expect me to cook, clean or do his laundry because I contribute to the household finances by working My son-inlaw expects my daughter to work, cook, clean, do the laundry and take care of the kids. When he is with his friends she has to stay out of the way because the wife doesn't do things like that. He won't watch his own child because the women are supposed to do that. I would like to know are they evolved?

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Keira - posted on 06/17/2013

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I'm a latina who no longer dates latin men. It's so strange, every time I fell in love with a latino, I ended up being in love by myself. Black men fall in love with me, white men fall in love with me but latin men just do not fall. I have no problem attracting them but as far as staying power, no. I was a great girl to them. Faithful, loving, supportive etc. Black guys and white guys equally have made me feel like I am the most amazing woman to walk this Earth. Roses, poems, romantic dates etc. But latino men always have some excuse. Either they are confused about their feelings, 'not ready for a relationship', "you're a great girl, you'll eventually find someone who likes you", I even had this guy try to soften the blow by dedicating me this bachata break up song that said "you're the perfect girl, just not in my world" I even had one tell me I was amazing but he "wanted to see what else was out there before he committed to anything" wow, really? The worst part is later I found out that a lot of these guys were capable of treating women like queens. They bent over backwards for the wrong women and 2 of them later came crying to me about it. Hate to admit it but with my experience with latin men is that they don't know how to appreciate a good woman until it is too late and I want someone who appreciates me now, not later. ♥ Happy with my white boyfriend right now.

Christian - posted on 07/22/2013

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A lot of generalizing going on here, not all of us Latino men are the way some describe us as. I don't expect a woman to cook, clean, take care of kids, stay at home or keep her from getting an education, I can do that on my own because every relationship should share responsibilities and yes education is very important, I don't expect a woman to stay home while I go out with my friends, yeah because to me my priority is the woman I'm with and not my friends, it has always been that way for me.
It all depends how that man was raised, it depends on his state of mind and if he decides to evolve from that caveman mentality his family drilled into his head, it depends on his education level and how open his mind is.
I agree with the original poster, some Latino men have not evolved because even I see some Latino men that way since they have an ass backward mentality. I live on my own at the time, I cook my own food, wash my own clothes, pay my own bills, clean my own apartment, to me a woman is not my property, yes I'm Latino and I know which country so therefore I don't need to constantly remind me or everyone else that "I'm Latino" I don't have alzheimers I know where I'm from, and whenever I've been in a relationship I treat my girlfriend like I would like to be treated, she is not my slave, I'm not her boss or owner, and yes there is a lot of love.
So please lets stop thinking that ALL Latino men are cavemen, there are a lot of us that have evolved.

Marie - posted on 01/18/2013

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Your daughter allows him to do whatever the hell he wants. Grow a backbone an tell him to get his fat mexican ass up and help out. hispanic men respond to one thing: abuse. She has already let him use her as a doormat and he figures she'll never leave cause they have kids. Get in his face, and say te chingo pendejo. That will wake him up

Lucy - posted on 07/31/2013

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I think it is mainly because your daughter is allowing this to happen. I am from Peru and my husband is Brazilian. He used to cook and clean the house. We both work, AND I am also a college student. We have two beautiful daughters and a Nanny. The Nanny takes care of the house chores completely and he is not against that. In fact, when we met I made it very clear that If he wanted to have a family with me that was going to be one of the conditions because I simply cannot cook or take care of a house by myself. The root of the issue is your daughter, I am sorry to say it like this.

The - posted on 01/09/2014

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Listen ladies, you guys are all wrong, stop saying latin men are this and that, fact of the matter is that there are good and bad men of all types and colors, and it may be a cultural thing or what not but, men do expect women to do all this house stuff, not saying that men shouldn't help but , this is mostly girly stuff, and men stick to the guys stuff, like the lawn, snow , cars, house repairs, don't get me wrong I think everything should be as equal at the end of the day, just know your boundaries, stick to your duties, respect your man and everything should be just fine, and remember do not make your man feel trapped, it's in our nature to be wild animals and please don't blame us for something that's out of our hands, just saying be smart and only be a hore with your man ONLY, remember there's two ways of getting into a mans heart and mind, food and sex, do this and we'll eat from the palm of your hand. P.S hope not to offend anyone by this, just trying to help.

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Luceyd - posted on 11/10/2014

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In response to The Wolf you are not helping. Just reinforcing the stereotype. If you want to stick to traditional gender roles that is your choice. But when both parties are educated, gender roles become more fuzzy. You do what makes sense for the couple based on agreements. I know plenty of men who love to cook and plenty of women who are fine taking out the garbage.

Luceyd - posted on 11/10/2014

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In response to Roman's comment, you are the definition of a sexist. You are patently wrong. American women are the most hard working women on the planet. They are busy working AND raising a family. They are not lazy just because they are not taking care of your every whim. That is called being a servant. Marriage material is an equal partner and there are still women who choose to cook and clean out of CHOICE. Real men value women beyond their looks or what they can do for them, sexually or otherwise. There are just as many beautiful American women as there are ones of other cultures. In fact American women have it all... brains, beauty, education and freedom to do as they please. If your quest is for male domination you are going to have to keep searching the globe because American women lead the pack and are the example for other cultures where women will not stay oppressed for long. It's called human rights, dude. Try picking up a book and reading about them: BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS.

Luceyd - posted on 11/10/2014

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Kevin Micheles,.you are absolutely correct. Even the ones who do become educated may still have an inbred machismo. Many foreign men and some American men are like this too... and it is more often than not linked back to role models and education. The ones who do become educated are more likely to snap out of it.

Luceyd - posted on 11/10/2014

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In response to Ricky Cameron's comment. Wow. YOU ARE the negative stereotype of the sexist Latino man. American men are not wusses for accepting women as equal partners and valuing them beyond their looks or what they can do sexually. Latino men have cavemen attitudes because they are grossly uneducated. EVERYONE likes to have a sexy partner... men & women alike, of all nationalities, but that is not all there is to a relationship. There are just as many beautiful American women as there are ones of other cultures. In fact American women have it all... brains, beauty, class and freedom to do as they please. Spanish men like you don't like to "live life". They are simple irresponsible, immature and insecure and have nothing else to offer but sex. Try finding the cure for cancer, developing a new invention that improves the world or striving for world peace. If your biggest accomplishment is that you have a sexy wife who you control through intimidation, I pity you.

Julia - posted on 11/04/2014

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Ok ... Im gonna try to make this as short as I can and still get my point across.

I am a 24 yr old white female ....When I was 16 I met my first mexican boyfriend.. he was older than me and at the time I thought he was the most amazing man I had ever met. Very early in our relationship he showed some key signs that I should have picked up on but didn't. About 4 months into our relationship he hit me for the first time. I guess I was in so much shock it didn't really "set it" but right after he did it .. he came to me crying and apologized.... I forgave him. The abuse kept happening time after time after time until one day we were arguing and he put me out on the side of the rode. I started walking down the street crying. I was only about a mile from my grandmothers house. Next thing I know I hear a vehicle coming behind me I turn around to see if it was someone that i know and it was alright... It was him ... he was laughing ,.. driving straight towards me.. I jumped in the ditch and dodged him.. he turned into a parking lot right up ahead of where I was and turned back around and came back at me from the front and lets just say I was unable to dodge him the second time... He almost killed me, I spend months in the hospital and had 11 broken bones in my body.

With that said ... years later when I was 19 .. I met another mexican guy,,, I kept telling myself not to do it because of what had happend with the first .. but this was different... very different... From the first day I met him he was so concerned about me .. how I was ... what I wanted.... if I was comfortable ... and what HE could do for ME. He was a little closer in age to me .. he was 22 when we met .. he would send me flowers .. sweet "good Morning" texts and my family was crazy about him.

We have been married for going on 4 years now .. and he is still as amazing as the day we met .. he has never done anything to hurt me .. physically or emotionally. We have 2 beautiful little boys together and I know that he was made for me ..... sent to me so that I could trust again.

You can't judge someone because of where they come from ... this just goes to show that just because someone is Latino don't mean they will or won't .. If a man is an abuser its not because of the color of his skin or where he was born... Its how he was raised and what morals he has.

Ricky - posted on 07/26/2014

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I will tell you...I am latino....Most American women think that once they got married they are done, you tend to think that Latinos are like white wuss guys who got married and live watching pornos and daydreaming about how his wife used to look before they got married. American women in general are careless about themselves, and latino men mostly are real men no wuss as most American man, who live in frustration because their women once they got married they are satisfied living the 'american dream" their dream of having 2 kids, a mortgage in house and a labrador and that is it, their lives are over. Latino man love to live and not get stagnant in a monotonous relationship. what most American women want is a man they can handle and do as pleased just to get bored and then blame boredom when they are unfaithful, this women are in control of most american males who are asexual, they live in shame of being a man, and when this women find a real man, fall for them but they want to control him as they control all her high schools wuss. I am a latino man, very successful in relationships and financially the reason I am a real man, no some wuss who live deprive of happiness, latino man are very sexual and we like our wives, to look good, being sexy not the that woman who think lives is about watching netflix and pay the bills on time

Mami - posted on 07/22/2014

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well i just open this site to know about latino man and i guess i get some how idea.

Antuoanetl - posted on 07/14/2014

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OMG!!! I guess racism is still alive in 2014. Not only is this soooooo racist ,small minded and ignorant its also wrong. I don't know whats worse the post itself or the idiotic comments. To question if they are evolved but yet you are not. You have obviously not evolved or developed from your racist ancestors yet question if they have evolved. The problem is not your daughter is married to a Spanish man, but that you raised a daughter that doesn't know how to pick a good man. Why doesn't she just stand up for herself rather than allow it to continue. How is your last name martinez and your that stupid to post this of your own race, however you became a Martinez.. OOPS guess there are some living mistakes LOL

Jose - posted on 06/24/2014

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Its sd to see how many of you are truly showing racism. You can not generalize. "what up with latino men". What if i posted "whats up with redneck good old boys", or "whats up with the brothas" ...... Machismo exists in all cultures. Its terrible and needs to be done away with. Not everyone in one group is the exact same way. I am a Mexican American male, my parents are from Mexico and i can honestly say that not a single person in my family is like the person described. - my wife is a stay at home mom and i still contribute to the household. I clean, i cook and i take care of my Two kids. More importanly i love doing all of those things.. because i love taking care of my family.

Kevin - posted on 06/23/2014

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oh my sounds like you need a divorce. I am sorry you have to live this way. what is very unhealthy and not a normal thing. He has what is called Machismo. It is a very primitive gene that most Hispanic males display. It comes with a lack of education

Raina - posted on 06/23/2014

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i'm arab and my bf is dominican..i'm 20 and he's 21 so we started parenthood quite young,and he helps me out with just about everything,we interact so much when we're cooking together,plus i need him to reach the Kitchen Wall Shelves lol! so to answer your question some are and some aren't.

Melissa - posted on 06/19/2014

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I don't know about other races. But Dominican men reply really bad to abuse. I recommend never to get loud, or attempt to put your hands on one. Just leave him, some men believe that if the woman acts like a man, then she gets treated as a man.

Roman - posted on 06/05/2014

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Truth being said is that hispanic men grow up used to that because that is how we are being raised by our mothers, grandmothers and so on. So that makes it a cultural issue. So everything in life depends on the way we see it, if you grow up having all of those attentions and you see the opposite in another culture you will think that yours is right and the other one is wrong. Just as an example, us hispanic men usually won't date american girls at least on a serious relationship because we know or we have been told tht they are "open minded" this would include sexually, mentally among others. And we think that they won't make good wives because some of them won't cook, clean, do laundry and some other things that us as hispanic man consider basic things that a woman should do. We could say just because must of them won't do those things that they are not good but we understand that they have been raised like that so nothing is wrong with them is just they culture. Things have changed a lot with technology and on this lasts years and hispanic women are adopting a new position close to the one than american girls have and as hispanic man instead of trying to change what we consider right, and I have heard this on american friends too is that we are looking into another cultures that are not hispanic or american, that they continue to keep raising good marrying material girls, that's why you might have noticed a lot of guys getting married with girls from the philippines. I keep hearing that they are good women. Most of my friends are american and they look for hispanic girls to get married and when I ask them why i get the same answer: hot looks, great sex, they cook, they do everything at home and then I wait for the usual: is just that american girls are just f..in lazyyyy. And that is said by the same american guys that even for us is a weird thing to listen. This is a subject that could be discussed for days and everybody will support what they think is right. As a man I could say that we consider more appealing a girl that does all of that than one that thinks that is not right.

Char2014 - posted on 06/02/2014

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Let me tell you, I am a Latino and I am totally unlike that dude you are describing here, and I laugh at your comment "what's up with latino men?" is just like any other society, please do not tag all of us with the same sticker. Everything has to do with education and choice. Your daughter married a lazy-ass latino who is a macho man, and she knew that before she got involve in that relationship and went ahead and got married and gave him children. Now she needs to suck it up or kick him to the curve, but if I was you I stay as faraway as I can because she is an adult and you don't own her, let her be the maid she is expected to be by her loving latino man!

Irene - posted on 05/16/2014

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wow, so sorry for your daughter. My father was Peruvian and I can tell you he would help my mother clean the house and raise me. He was a very attentive father, clean his own clothes and after himself. He would wake up every Saturday early and clean the whole apartment by himself. And I'm talking about very meticulously clean the apartment. I think it depends on the latin man one chooses.

Daniel - posted on 05/09/2014

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It all comes down to class and cultural background. Most latino men living in America are transplants from the lower classes in their home countries.

Iseh - posted on 05/03/2014

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Catherine - posted on 04/14/2014

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Well,here is my answer to all of this, not all spanish men are created equal, my husband is Cuban and Eqadorian he was raised to respect by women. not to treat them second best. I have been with my husband for 6 years. I do work and and I come home to do housework, cook and spend time with our three dogs when we watch movies he likes to have me right next to him.He doesn't have another life with out. I am much older than him 19 years to be exact. I am truly in love with my latin man. I use to dated and married italian men, they cheated lied and beat me and got really fat. from eating too much pasta....So maybe you were just dating the wrong men in general I am in love with my husband maybe i just got lucky who knows.

Evolved - posted on 04/05/2014

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Warning: not the best grammatical structured response.

First generation Mexican American man born in the 80s and married for a decade now to a first generation Mexican American women born in the 80s.
Pros: Family orientated, support from core of friends, both educated from same alumni, traveled independently, career focused, spiritual connected, balanced-one emotionally high strung and the other mellow, planned parenthood for mid 30s, homeowners, have finances in order, planning for retirement, huge bucket list yet to accomplish from an individual and couple standpoint.
Cons: have had an equal amount of downs as ups. The ying and yang of this relationship is the good vs evil. As long as there is an equivalent in giving vs taking.
Ethnicity has not much to do with it if both assimilated to the dominant culture. Being part of a Class is a factor depending if you have crawled out of a disadvantage situation or have enhanced your middle class situation or been humbled, if your in the 1% elite. Last, ones own choice followed up by your decision are the factors. Opportunities will always present themselves life will only work out if committed.

Liana - posted on 12/20/2013

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Yeah my first husband was a fakexican (a Mexican only by blood American born and doesnt speak Spanish well or at all) but he got all the unwanted qualities of being a Mexican male from his father. Guess what no support .

Asia - posted on 12/20/2013

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Have they evolved is a good question.. I am African American and my husband is from Peru.. Im educated but after I had my second child I decided to stay home with my kids and take a break from working.. From the time we dated until recently, 2 1/2 yrs, it's been a partnership, equal, give or take, and no real signs of machismo.. Well recently I decided to help my husband prepare for a job interview that could really change our lives.. I wanted him to feel like he could succeed.. So I "wifed" it up big time.. I made him a big breakfast, I washed his clothes and ironed them for the interview, I updated his resume and went to kinkos to printut, I shaved him, and went with him to the interview because he wanted moral support and waited outside... Although I do nice things for him, cook, amd am a stay at hm mom,I've never spoiled him quite that much as I still make sure he does his part when... Well later in the day we were talking about what I had done for him with some of my family around. I jokingly said "was a wife to you today" and he looked at me and said "finally" and went back to playing video games... Ive never felt so unappreciated in my life! I did those things because I wanted to make him feel good and instead it made me feel stupid and powerless like I was chasing after a man which I don't want to be like... I want a partner.. While I think Hispanic may have changed to not force a woman to be the perceived notion of a wife, they probably still want it and expect it.. So no, I dont think they've evolved.

Cutemommy - posted on 10/17/2013

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A man will do only what the women allows no matter the color. Womanizers come in many races and sizes. Instead of blaming the man's culture. You should explain your daughters worth to her. The Men that women choose is a direct reflection of what she sees her self worthiness. So right now she feels that's what she deserves, I understand your angry but if you want any results you have to go about it a better way.

Joe - posted on 05/28/2013

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The latina women I've dated in the past all cheated on me had more than 2 boyfriends without me knowing.

Most latinas just want an excuse to date white guys cause want lighter babies that is all

Marsha - posted on 05/01/2013

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My husband is too needy. My kids and I are suffocating. Does anyone else have this problem?

Paige - posted on 03/18/2013

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Lol I don't think its cool that she can't do what she wants, she needs to stand up for herself. But I laugh because my babydaddy is peurtorican and Im 100 percent white as well, & I also realized everything he says ends with "I told you beja, Im peurtorican. It's because I'm peurtorican" :P Its so funny! Sasquatch & neanderthals cross my mind too haha but not in a racist or offensive way what so ever. Evolution is very unique, especially amongst different cultures in their own way, including white peoples.

DL - posted on 01/17/2013

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how would you like a husband who always says "white people". You do everything like white people. I get so mad at him, and say( not yell); what are you-black?! My husband is a very nice man who has a problem; even after many years of expressing himself. What he means is; not Latino. I remember when I had my first child. Things were less stressed-we were living everyday as best as we could. We made it. It was hard, but if you love your husband; you have to take EVERY DAY AT A TIME. With a Latino; some days may be unreal. However, I had a friend who was married to a Greek, and she had much worse problems.I think with every nationality; there are some problems. Its how you or your spouse were raised. My husband was raised in a poor family, but he remembers everyday how they lived; no matter what. Good Luck to you, and have perseverance-just keep trying. Every day is another beautiful day.

Baby - posted on 01/17/2013

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This is my first post here but I have to agree with the original post. I also do not think the "have they evolved?" remark is racist, I think it's funny because I often think it about my own husband. I'm American white and he's 100% Puerto Rican. I call him "neanderthal" and "sasquatch" LOLOL and he agrees! "I'm puerto rican!" is his answer to everything!! I'm starting to understand that that actually means something LOL

Anyway, this topic does bring light to my own situation. We've been together for 7 years (married for one) and he is much like you described - he keeps me separate from his life, which has ALWAYS made me feel unimportant and outcasted. He doesn't spend a lot of time with friends or family, but what ticks me off is that they don't even say hi to me when we're walking down the street together. They acknowledge him only and he doesn't bother to introduce me. I'm actually relieved to find out that it may just be a cultural thing.
My former boyfriend was Ameri-rican and his people were much more accepting of me, they always made me feel included, never rejected like my husband's people do. I guess it's just customary to be ignorant???

As for "stereotyping"... the whole reason stereotypes exist is because the majority rules. But people still don't appreciate boldness.
My husband does in fact seem primitive. He doesn't want me in college, he wants me working to help support our finances. I try to explain to him that an education will get me a career, which is far better paying than a job.

I'm pregnant with our first and right now he's enchanted but with him everything wears off quickly. Soon he'll start yelping that I need to get a job so we can afford it.

Courtney - posted on 01/17/2013

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I think it totally depends on how they were raised. My husband is Dominican and he was raised my his mother because his father left when he was young. I think all latin men have the machoness born into them and they see it growing up howver not all of them act on it.
I thought it would be interesting for all of you for me to mention that I wrote a book on meeting my latin husband when I was young in the Dominican Republic. My story is over the history of about seven years, I met him, visited, moved to his country, married and sponsored him to come to Canada. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and if you are interested I would love to share my experience with you! It is called "Deceitful Affection A True Story" and you can find it on lulu.com and other sites! It is short but you wont be able to put it down I promise!!

DL - posted on 01/08/2013

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I am an older white woman. I cannot give my name or anything else because of reasons. I have been married to a Latino for 43 years. My husband has his circle of "friends" he has had for a long time. I do not know them. My kids' are grown, but one lives in the same building as me. I have learned to accept being alone. My husband is gone every week end. He comes home to "check" on me; seemingly to see if I'm "alright". I have learned to live with this. On New Years' Eve; he has always stayed with his friends overnight, and I have always been at home alone. I have cooked,; he used to RARELY help me. He helps me clean sometimes, but the pain of lonliness never goes away. We never' now go out at all. His friends matter most to him, I guess. My daughter just accepts it also. Being married to a Latino is completely different, and it takes a lot of stamina, and many prayers.

Jessica - posted on 01/03/2013

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Well this is not all Hispanic men.. I ask you this question, have you evolved? You based this on one man and act as if all Hispanic men are this way. I am married to a Hispanic man who has his Master's degree and works for a big 4 accountant firm, he helps around the house, and is a great father.

Leanne - posted on 12/06/2012

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my ex is Hispanic and is the stereotypical Hispanic man with kids from multiple "baby mammas" and doesn't take care of any of them...BUT not all Hispanic men are like that there are plenty of white men, Asian men, African American men, etc that do the same thing the common denominator is the "men" aspect and we as woman choose to either put up with it and do everything or choose to change it I was in that relationship for a long time and just realized over the last year or so that it was my fault to for allowing him to not be involved with anything and now that I have taken him court and made him take responsibilities, he has changed for the better and doing more for my son I had to take a step back and make him realize that im not that woman who is going to do everything for him

Jen - posted on 12/05/2012

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I agree totally with Cynthia, Thats why I married a american man as well. Not all mexican or latino guys are like that but most are that are raised in a traditional family or raised in another country other than the usa. I was with my ex for 5 years and could never adjust to his way of life, I was not allowed to go to school, get a job, and he even said what I could wear. I was to clean the house and make food. He wanted kids but this was not the life for me so we separated. Once again no all people are like this, put this is the typical type =) hope this helps.

Cynthia - posted on 12/05/2012

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I´m mexican and many (not all) mexican guys are like that, maybe that's why I married an american man! This behavior is part of their education, they repeat patterns they see in their homes, the mothers of this "machos" are the most responsable. But you can re-educate them, you just have to be very clear in what you expect from them, because your family is different and you want to educate your kids differently.

Carolina - posted on 12/03/2012

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well to tell you Im Hispanic women do everything do laundry, cook, clean house take care the kids and etc.. men seems that is our job to do everything but sometimes men do help out men are different depends who you marry

Juan - posted on 12/02/2012

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I think it's just a cliche, because even american Dads are macho dominants like "Homer Simpson" you see what I mean? Just because I watch The Simpsons and see how Homer treats his wife it doesn't mean that every american dad in the USA do the same thing to ther wives. What I do perceive is that american women behave a bit arrogant because of their cultural background and "pretend" to be the "super model american hollywood mum" thinking that in Latin american, mums stay at home and do nothing more than that...Get over that idea! you are wrong american ladies, Latin american women do study, work and raise children at the same time too!.

Tara - posted on 10/07/2012

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I can tell you I am an american woman that is in my second marriage to a Honduran man and in my experience with my friends and husband the women DO SERVE THEIR MEN! I am going through issues at this moment for the same reason. we have been married for 7 years now and honestly I am tired of it! Now dont get me wrong there are some who are not that way but the Majority ARE! it is the MACHO culture even when you go to baby showers, or children s birthdays they will have beer and men will be there drinking and normally separate from the women. all women will get together and help serving everyone and doing all clean up. This is not bashing the culture because I think there are also things that are beautiful about the culture but also I think that the men should have a little compromise when the choose to marry an american woman and adapt to our cultures like we do to theirs! Both of my experiences were the same in that aspect also almost ALL of my friends are from Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, or Honduras and the concisenes is the same in each one the women all agree too but they are from a place where divorce is not an option.

Rachel - posted on 01/11/2011

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My husband is Puerto Rican and he is not this way, for the most part. We both work fulltime and we also both do all of the cleaning, cooking,and childcare. I guess I am lucky because most of the other men in his family are not like him. His dad is really bad. His dad was so bad that he didn't want to talk about anything that had to do with money in front of me either because "money is not women's business," my husband would tell him that it is not this way in our house and considering I make 3 times what my husband makes, it is my business. My father in law will not do anything for himself, she does it all. I guess it all depends on the individual and how he was raised but as you can see from my husband sometimes that doesn't predict anything either.

Breana - posted on 01/01/2011

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My husband is puerto rican. We have 3 kids together and he is the best man i have ever met. I get sick alot so sometimes he helps out with the dishes, the kids and cleaning more than i do and still has to go to work in the morning, so they're not all like that:)

Lavet - posted on 01/01/2011

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OMG!!!! I think by saying "they" some of you guys are generalizing and being racist! Was he like this before your daughter chose to marry him? Or did he beat her and force her to marry him? Maybe it's how he was raised. My husband is Latino and is very respectful of me. He was also respectful of me while we were dating and I knew his values and beliefs before hand.

Iysha - posted on 12/26/2010

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lol....when i told my grandma that my fiance likes to cook, she said that her husband NEVER set foot in the kitchen unless it was to eat! haha...In Mexican Culture, men work, women take care of the home...that is way old fashioned though...my other grandmother thought I should have been married at 16 and wanted me to move in with her to take care of her when she was sick...I was 16...i didnt know how to cook, I didnt even know how to work the dishwasher or the washer/dryer back then. lol.

I grew up with my mom cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and I do that too...not because I have to or my fiance expects it...just because that was what my mom did. i suppose it would be the same for men...their fathers did it and they are modeling their behavior. i like cooking and If i dont feel like cooking, i can order a pizza. lol...no biggie. I do laundry and that doesnt bother me, i am the primary caregiver for our daughter and i dont mind as long as when I need help or want to go do something without her I can count on him to take care of her. I used to work, not right now but i will be returning to school, and i will still be cooking, cleaning and doing laundry...that doesnt meant that my fiance wont put in a load of laundry if I ask him to. He grew up with a single mom so he knows how to cook and clean and all that...in fact he does all 3 better than me and taught me how to use the washer/dryer and how to cook without burning something.

It is really just the way people are brought up that make them the partners that they are and it is the way they are brought up that makes them expect cirtain things of their partner.

Jackie - posted on 12/26/2010

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Okay so instead of bashing her for answering an honest question maybe you should ask her a question. Theres no need to be rude. Even in times past in white American history the woman was expected to do it all and more and we white american women say that they have evolved so before everybody goes judging her lets think about that. Just because white people refer to other races in the same way that we do our own race doesnt mean were racist.
To answer your question hun not all hispanic men treat their women the same. My ex husband was mexican and treated me worse than your explaining and was physically violent to me as was his father to his mother and step mother. A friend of mines mother was with a mexican for 20 years then a Honduran for 2 and they both beat her.
Now before anybody says that is racist I will also say that my first abusive relationship was with a white man and if a mans going to beat you it dont matter what race he is.
Alot of hispanic cultures the woman is literally the house mother as you described. Not all of them are that way so you just have to know not only where theyre from but how they were raised.

Destini - posted on 12/21/2010

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I personally believe they are this way because that's how they were raised up. My Hubby is Hispanic and he does not treat me the way your son-in-law treats your daughter but I still do all the house work.. I am a stay at home mom so I dont think its a big deal that I cook, clean, and tend to my child! HOWEVER if and when I ever need his assistance he is more than willing to help me out so I guess I just depends on that particular man and how he chooses to treat his wife... My Hubby's grandmother is in her late sixties and she still cooks and cleans for EVERYONE!! She gets up and make tortillas everyday and she always has breakfast, lunch, and dinner at HOME no questions asked and she hardly ever wants others to help her.. So I think it all boils down to a cultural way of life.

Ashley - posted on 12/16/2010

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My hubby is from mexico from the ranch life with dirt floors and outhouses and mostly dinner came from hunting or whatever.His mom had 8 kids got up 3 in the morning made tortillas -breakfast-washed clothes by hand took care of the smaller kids.My hubby was never raised with alot of love affection hugging kissing saying I love you alot mulitple times during the day.When we first were together over 5 years ago he was what they say very macho he would want dinner to be on the table everything handed to him on a sliver platter.Over the years I would say being with me and aroun my family is has became pretty americanized eating american foods he speaks soo much english now no problem there 9 months ago we had my daughter he's always wanted kids I couldnt even beileve he was and is so good with her he will bath her change her diaper feed her make bottles put her to sleep at night even on weekends when he is off he will get up with her in the morning and feed and change her and let me sleep even though i have never worked always been a stay at home mom.When he was younger he was kinda like that tryed to be in charge but we live mostly like normal people.i think it depends on the person and to whether they want to change or adapt to a new situation,some do some dont

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