WHY WHY WHY!!!!

Monique - posted on 03/08/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have tried to hold my peace, but it seems I can't any longer . Why do people always feel that the only reason why I decided to marry outside my race and have children was in order to be able to reap the benefits of both worlds. There was so much drama behind me dating outside of my race. Why was there not so much, when I divorced him and then remarried someone of my own race? Does it really matter? It should not matter if my children are biracial (black/white) or not. They can still have all the opportunites as anyone else. If one more person tells me I did it so my kids could get ahead I am going to click...

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11 Comments

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Kathy - posted on 08/07/2009

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I got looks, but the only comment I can remember is my gramps saying I put my daughter up for a hard time making her part filipino. He came around and adored her, but he was a racist I corrected all the time.

Sherree - posted on 08/04/2009

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Interesting Gretchen, he acts like he doesn't notice them too (it only happens when we are in AL). But I have no problem with the looks, I give them right back and land a wet one on him then smile back at them;-)

Gretchen - posted on 08/02/2009

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My family had no problem with me dating outside of my race. When my son's father and I were out in public we would receive stares. He acted as if he did not notice them. I guess because of where he is from it is more acceptable than in the South where I am from. I don't understand the problem with it, it is only our situation. Meaning that we are the two in this relationship that has to deal with each other's differences and try to make it work.

Leigha - posted on 07/18/2009

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My parents had their concerns, and I've heard my uncle ask my dad if he was ok with it (my husband is Salvadoran) to which my father responded 'He treats her better than any white guy she's dated. He's just great for her and we're glad she's found someone who loves her that much' or something to that degree. My parents just wanted me to understand that people aren't always going to be accepting of my marriage or children. I get that, it was my decision and no one else's. You can't help who you love and if you let someone else choose for you you will just be unhappy.

Erin - posted on 07/13/2009

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I don't think that people really ever choose to date outside of their race. I think as we grow up we learn what we are physically attracted to and what characteristics your mate should have. I have dated many different races and married a black man. Each man I dated had similar qualities.



My dad did not like me being with a black man. However, I did talk to him and asked him what attracted him to my mom. After he explained that, I just explained what I liked in the person I was dated. This made him see the person, not the color.



I have only been asked this question on one occasion and I did with them what I did with my dad. The person asked the question and his wife was present. I asked why he liked a girl with brown hair and brown eyes. I then just said we are all attracted to different types of people and I didn't ever question him or ask him to do different than what he did.

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2009

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I married someone who is 1/4 Puerto Rican and white and I haven't heard anything bad about it because he really doesn't look Spanish but when I was dating a Black man my family was FURIOUS. I have no idea why! I was raised in that family but I thank God that HE gave me a mind to love a person for their heart and not their skin! Sorry to hear you have went through this.

Maria - posted on 04/26/2009

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Unfortunately, we can't change the way people's perspective or point of view. We can only make our own mark on this earth in our own way. We don't owe anybody any explanation or elaboration of our own actions, and we can only be responsible towards our own actions and to some extent our children's, when we bring them to this world. But, we can only love them enough that they will eventually understand that race has nothing to do with falling in love and relationships.

Anita - posted on 03/10/2009

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In repsonse to Jaclyn, My husband is Trinidadian.  My oldest son is also full Caucasion.  And my other 3 sons are mixed.  WOW!  What a coincidence.  All three of the younger kids are varying shades of what we jokingly call "Chocolate"  I have White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate!!  LOL



 



To Monique:  You have to be comfortable with your own choices.  It is in fact ,YOUR life.  It's nice to have the support of your family but ultimately only you can make sure YOU are happy!!

Jaclyn - posted on 03/10/2009

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I have not received any bad talk about my children or my choices, but I totally agree that this is just unacceptable. There are just as many biracial couples as non biracial. My son is the oldest and he is full Caucasian my daughter and twins on the way are Caucasian/Jamaican, I love them all the same. People really need to learn that a child is a child no matter what there skin colour is, or who their parents are. I have to say i have both and all though i love them all the same I think biracial kids are much cuter then one race children.

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do they really say that Monique?!??

wow so they must meen i got my son with my african boyfriend because i want my kid to get a hard life....?!? what kind of fool can think something like that?



Some people just have to find someone or/and something to talk down to so they can feel better about themselfe!!!



my son is made of love and should not get less of what he was made of!! no matter what the colour of him or his parents....

Anita - posted on 03/08/2009

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I agree with you that this is unacceptable.  People do things for love or feelings that they think are love. 



I married outside my race with a lot a concern from my family.  I think that people need to get over the race issue and realize that color is only skin deep.  You probably married him because you loved him at the time.  I would venture to say that you married someone of your own race because that is who you were attracted to at that time. 



I didn' set out to marry out of my race nor do I think you did.  You went with your feelings and unfortunately it didn't work out. 



People should be start to open their minds to the fact that we date or marry people we are attracted to and it doesn't matter if they are black, white, yellow or red.  What matter is that you loved them at that time.

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