Having a hard time finding GOOD friends for my son...

Liana - posted on 11/11/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm having such a hard time finding GOOD kids for my 9-yr-old son to hang out with. It seems like everyone I know with kids his age has girls. And the few boys in his class are just obnoxious! Is it just me or is it harder to find good friends when you're a boy?

I moved to Bayonne, NJ last year... about 1 hour from where I used to live. But it wasn't any better where I came from. He had one friend there that he hung out with regularly but he used bad language regularly and you couldn't take him to a store with you because he didn't know how to act properly... running in the aisles, yelling , etc....

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Amy - posted on 11/14/2009

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I am new here. Yes my husband and I have a hard time finding good friends around here. One boy down the street from us steels things that do not belong to him, uses bad language and talks about the boys and girls genital areas. When he gets mad at someone he has told them he will kill them. He is still Abrahams friend and they both feel they are good friends. My husband really put him in his place and now we have no trouble when he is here. But we told him he is on thin ice. Still is today but have no trouble with him in a while. He Mom & Dad are seprated and she is raising him by herself. She lives with her mother. She has two others besides him and all give her a hard time. Alot of it is she works 10- 12 hour shifts and does not give them alot of attention but does her best. We have kicked him out of the house.

Some friends are not too bad. This one is the worst he was in jail before. We kept telling Abe he is not a good influnence on you but loves hanging with him. He does not do the things this boy does but I am afraid of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Two other friends and him have some of the same personality and if around them too long they bump heads. It is hard when they live on the same block and go to the same school and last year was in the same class. That is where we had problems with him. After this summer no more problems. I am glad for this new community. I do not have an answer for you but feel free to vent and email me if you want to.

Lyndsay - posted on 11/14/2009

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In short, I don't think you should be choosing your son's friends. He should be making his own friends, and if the case is that you don't approve of anyone out there then you may just have to lower your standards. He can't be isolated because you think the other kids his age are obnoxious, especially since he goes to school with these kids so they are the most likely candidates. If the problem is that he needs some help with socialization, ask him what his interests are and sign him up for something. He will be able to meet other kids there.

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