Moms who have chosen not to circumcise

Savannah - posted on 12/03/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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Just wondering on how moms deal with other peoples reactions when you tell them you did not have your son circumcised. I did plenty of research before making my decision and found that it was best to not have the procedure done.
Since I've had my son and I've run into some friends and family members, whenever the topic gets brought up, it seems like I get so much shit for it. The funny thing is, I have yet to meet someone who knows what they are talking about. For instance, yesterday, a friend tried to tell me the reason that "circumcision was started so that sex would be more pleasurable for a woman." What?!?!?! I could not stop laughing but he was convinced, then continued to tell me how sorry he feels for my son.
All I have tried to do is tell people that I've thoroughly investigated the options and give them a few facts. Still, I get the dirty looks and extremely rude comments. (I really don't know why people are so concerned with my sons penis in the first place)
Any advice??

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Bridgette - posted on 12/27/2011

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well that does suck that they are saying things to you because its your choice. i did the same thing and didnt get my son's done and im paying for it. he has Hydronephrosis(dilation of his kidney) which has caused his body work harder which has resulted getting sick alot. he is also allergic to penicillin so they cant really used very many antibiotics to help him so that resulted in him having over 10 infections and he is only 2 years old. so i kind of understand why some people are so concerned but every child is different so whatever the parent chooses to do everyone should respect...

Diamond - posted on 11/14/2011

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depends on the the people you run into, some are all for it and some are not. I was all for it for my son not because of any religious reasons or anything to do with the pleasure of sex. I think those are the wrong reasons to get the procedure done. My husband and I chose to get it done because of hygiene and preventing future problems if he werent circumcised because 60% of the time..uncircumcised boys will run into problems and infections and later on they will end up getting circumcised anyways. My thoughts were to make it easier for my son for cleanliness and preventing those problems for him!

Stacey - posted on 03/29/2011

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I honestly think it's up to you! No one else should even ask that question. It is a private matter and that's final! We have two sons and both of them are circumcised. But that was our choice, we felt it would be better all the way around to have it done. We like you done alot of research on it and found that it was healthier/better to have it done and my husband is circumcised. I have a family member that was not circumcised and in his 30's decided to have it done, well needless to say he said if he ever had boys he would make sure it was done because he didnt want to have to put them through it as adults! Anyway I just honestly think it's up to the parents and none of anyone else's business at all!! I have a lot of great sites if you would be interested in them, they tell you alot. Another mom sent them to me from here.

[deleted account]

I really struggled with the decision, too. I ended up going ahead with the circumcision though, mostly b/c the evidence was pretty evenly split down the middle. I asked my DH to weigh in (since he's the only other person in our house with an actual penis), and he said the one thing that seemed most compelling was the medical evidence that AIDS transmission dropped by 80% for males who were circumcised.

But still, to this day, I feel a pang of guilt when I think about it. A big part of me feels that nature has reasons for designing the human body the way it is. We may not fully understand all those reasons, but messing with nature is usually not ideal.

Anyway, guess I'm rambling a big. Sorry! Just wanted to weigh in and say that it's a tough decision for every parent. And nobody should feel they have the right to push their opinion on someone else.

Susan - posted on 12/05/2010

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wow I can't believe you have had to deal with that, sorry to hear. My son is not circumcised and luckily no one has said anything about it - though I have been asked whether we did or not.



People will always have their prejudices if its not about this issue it will be about something else.



Mostly the people that make the rude comments are the ignorant ones I think you will find.



They are best ignored, but you should not feel that you have to explain your decision to them, each to their own you know - if they have kids they can make their own choice what to do.

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Julie - posted on 07/13/2012

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I tell those brave enough to criticize my decision something along the lines of "he'll find plenty of reasons to hate me as a teenager, I don't want penile mutilation to be another one. If he wants it off when he can make that decision, it'll come off. Until then, it stays on unless there is an ACTUAL medical reason for it to come off."

PS My friends who have been with both cut and uncut men relayed that the sex was better with the uncut me.

Julie - posted on 07/03/2012

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there is no sound scientific or medical basis to say circumsizing is cleaner or can stop STD's. if you are a clean person and shower or bath regularly and change your clothes then there is no reason why any part of your body should be unclean.

Karen - posted on 06/21/2012

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Our son is not circumcised either because we found no reason for it. Most people seem respectful of our decision but will often get an explanation why they think it is a good idea. When someone does seem bothered by our decision (family usually) I reply "this is a decision that my husband and I have made and we have made it based on medical reasons and not on traditions."

Sometimes I wonder if people listen to themselves when the talk. I find that my mom is the biggest critic of me as mother, sadly.

Stephanie - posted on 06/20/2012

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Nosy people! Our pediatrician said there was no medical reason to do it. She did tell us some extra info about keep him clean and preventing infection and such. But she said unless it was matter of religious belief there was no reason, so we didn't. I'm curious if other boys will ask him about it when he gets older since he will look different. But we haven't gotten to that stage yet.

Tia - posted on 06/06/2012

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MY SON IS NOT CIRCUMSIZED! im happy for it too. i dont want my son to have to go through that pain for no reason. they didnt do it back then so how can it hurt now? just take extra care of it & everything should be fine. PLUS, i didnt want him to be different from his daddy.

Cathy - posted on 04/21/2012

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Stand strong mama! I didn't have my son circumcised either,wouldn't have thought anything about it and probably would have had it done,just because in my family it is the norm. My husband is not circumcised though and after reading about it and asking some questions of my mother who is a nurse I saw no reason to put my son through that. People would get all bent out of shape if you suggested female circumcision,or whatever it's called,but get very judgemental about not mutilating your son's genitals,I don't get it.

Brittany - posted on 12/13/2011

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My son was born 1 lb so he was to small at first to have it done so we were going to get it done later but when it came time we decided not to have it done because we saw no point in it and my husband is and he is really against it. We have had no problems with cleaning like alot of people say. I am pregnant now with another boy and he wont have it done either. I see no point in it. My husband says they should be able to choose to have it done on their own when they are adults if they feel they want to for the religous fact, which alot of people think you should because the bible says so I dont really know about that. But anyway no one should say anything because its none of their business.

Katherine - posted on 11/19/2011

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Frankly I tell people it's nobody's business what my son's genitals look like. I did a lot of research while I was pregnant and I came to the conclusion that circumcision is cruel and unusual punishment for being male.

I get a lot of crap for not having my son circumcised, mostly from my family of circumcised males. My mom told me that my son has an inevitable future of UTIs and penile cancer but I know better. I have a friend whose baby boy is less than a year old - he is circumcised and has had 4 UTIs since he was born. My son is 2 and has never had one. It's all about cleanliness if you ask me. I have gotten tired of defending my choice to keep my son the way he was born, so when people ask me why my son is not circumcised, I just ask them how they would feel if someone cut part of THEIR genitals off. The whole, "babies won't remember it, bla bla bla" thing is BS. One of my guy friends, who is Jewish and had it done for religious reasons, still has nightmares about his Bris. I don't even see why circumcision is still available. One of the definitions of "mutilation" is removal of healthy body tissue for nonmedical reasons. In my opinion, circumcision should only be available for boys who have foreskin or penile problems like phimosis or paraphimosis, or hypospadias. If parents teach their kids to be clean, they should never have any problems with smell, smegma or infection.

Take my advice - say something shocking to shut them up like I do. It works every time. Tell them, "well, how would YOU like it if someone cut off a part of YOUR genitals?" It's none of their business what your son's penis has or doesn't have anyway.

Trista - posted on 11/14/2011

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Both my boys are uncut, my husband was uncut. also dealt with ignorant comments. One that bothered me the most was a pediatrician. She actually screamed at me and told me I was going ruin my sons life. People are really silly about the whole thing honestly I just laugh

[deleted account]

For me the only reason my 3 boys have uncircumsized penis's is because my husband's penis is uncircumsized, and my husband supports me all the way.

Stifler's - posted on 04/05/2011

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My kid isn't circumcised. We got brochures about it etc. and decided it wasn't worth it. I just tell people they are wrong and a douche if they try to tell me I should have gotten Logan circumcised.

Jennifer - posted on 03/29/2011

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Really?! Sex being better for woman?? Where do people get this kinda crap!! I think it's ridiculous that people are criticizing you..I will never understand the nerve of some friends and family members. Like everything they did with their children was/is perfect and you should do it exactly the way they did it!

My doc was very adamant that it was our decision and gave us info for and against. In the end we opted for circumcision for the same reason that Kylie mentioned..when it comes time my son and hubby's penis will "look the same" and also for the fact that my husband may not do a great job of explaining how to keep an uncircumcised penis clean seeing as he doesn't have one! Lol
You just need to tell people that with the help of your licensed pediatrician (who probably knows a thing or 2 about this) you have made an informed decision to do what is best for your family dynamic!

Kylie - posted on 03/08/2011

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I am new to this, so I'm sorry it took so long to post! My son is not circumsized. My husband is not either, which is why we decided not to have my son go through it either. If his and his father's penis look exactly alike, my husband can explain things to him. And when I read about what your friend said (about the sex being better for a woman), I laughed hard! Just don't worry about it. People are idiots and you know you did what was right for YOUR son. Case closed. :-)

Courtni - posted on 02/07/2011

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i feel the same way. my son isn't circumsized either and people do the same thing to me. the reason why i never got him circumsized was because of the same thing. Like Susan said, its best to ignore them because it's your child, it's your life and no one should put you down about your son.

Rachel - posted on 01/21/2011

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I have two sons and neither one of them is circumsized. Some people i talk to ask me if he is or not, my Sister and I had a huge debate about it, because i did not get my son done and she did. When i looked into getting it done it was expensive, nearly 500 dollars. I thought about it and was why the heck would i pay 500 bucks to get some doctor to do an unecessary procedure. The more i researched it the more i found it is more or less a cosmetic surgery. I saw no reason to get it done, so I did not. Even my mom said when my bro was born, it was an instant thing, They use to do it as soon as the baby was born and it was free... that is why so many ppl of the previous generation had it done. But its a new generation of kids out there and a lot of ppl forget that

Julie - posted on 01/05/2011

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well unfortunately it is common place in america and a few other places to have your child circumsized as soon as possible after birth. here in the uk it is not even thought of unless you are jewish or there is a medical necessity for it so i cant advise on how you should react to these people except to say that no one has the right to judge you or your decisions about your children and you should not feel bad for any choice you make. my son was circumsized at 5 years old and i would not have put him through it unless it was necessary and cannot beleive anyone would willing do that to a child and think its for the best if there was no sound reason for it but thats mmy opinion. you stick to your guns and if you dont want it done then dont let anyone influence that decision its your son not theirs tell them.

Sharon - posted on 12/18/2010

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I don't think we've ever been asked if he was circumcised or not. You should say that to them - why are you so concerened about my sons penis anyway ? - it would probably take people back and they wouldn't know how to repsond. You shouldn't have to explain you decision to anyone.
We, well hubby did cuz I left the decision up to him, to not get our son circumcised. Honestly, I didn't research it at all. Hubby wasn't done, never had any issues with it, so he decided to keep his boy the same :-)

Candice - posted on 12/16/2010

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When my son was a few weeks old I rang, made an appointment to get him circumcised (only because we'd been talking to friends about it and they had got their lil guy done) and the day of it I cancelled it as I couldn't go through with it. People were bagging me out left right and center to get it done, as we thought it was the norm, and only had one negative comment from my Nan about not getting it done (the whole hygiene issue). So i am so glad we didn't go through with it. Dad's done because that was the norm back in the 80's but our son's not and we are glad.

Heidi - posted on 12/06/2010

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Me too .. I can't believe you are having to deal with that. My husband and I also decide NOT to have the procedure done. We spoke to the Doctor about it and did alot of research, and there didn't seem to be any benefit to having it done. Luckily for us, our friends mind their own business and haven't asked any questions. After all - it is a private matter. I would just ignore them or not tell them when they ask. Maybe say - "Why do you want to know?" or something like that. Take care!! You are not alone.

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