Unexpected responses regarding our third baby being a boy!

Cynthia - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 70 moms have responded )

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Hello all!

I am new to these boards, so I am sorry if someone else has posted this thought before. We are pregnant with our third boy, and to be honest, I am in total shock at the responses people are giving us. I think I've had one person say congratulations, the rest all say "oh, it would have been nice to have a girl" or "wow, three boys, a girl would have been cute". As much as we did want to have a girl, we are happy to have a healthy baby and I am finding these constant comments very frustrating. "Oh you must have your hands full"....regardless of sex, I think three kids is a handful.......anyway, thought I would share, pregnant and hormonal over here!!! :)

Cynthia

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Micki - posted on 06/20/2012

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I have 4 kids (boy, boy, girl, boy). When my daughter was born strangers would come up to me and say things like "oh, good. You got your girl so you can be done" when I told them we wanted a fourth they looked at me like I had 3 heads.

Katie - posted on 12/21/2011

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I'm a Mom to five boys!! Sure it would have been nice to have a girl...but I LOVE my boys with all my heart. Just as you do. What I said...when I had a very unexpected pregnancy and found out he was a boy to those comments.."I'm having a baby because I wanted another child..NOT because I wanted a girl!" Most people got the hint! Congratulations on baby boy number 3. Being a Mom to boys is the BEST!

Shannon - posted on 08/05/2011

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I have 3 boys and experienced the SAME THING. I was thrilled and wasn't "trying" for a girl...and then they immediately launched into - are you going to try again for a girl? Like having a girl is the only thing that matters?? Ugh.

I'm very happy with my 3 boys - and will not be trying for a girl, LOL.

Congratulations!!! 3 boys is AWESOME.

[deleted account]

CONGRATULATIONS on a 3rd baby! Happy healthy boy :)

I'm sorry :( That would be horribly frustrating!!! I heard the same kind of comments when we found out our 2nd was a boy, I could only imagine that amplified if it were #3! :( It made it feel like our 2nd wasn't welcomed with open arms! To amplify this, my MIL hasn't met him (he's now 20 months) and my FIL & SMIL haven't met him either :( It is horribly frustrating! I'll see pics of my SIL holding other babies and think, WOW you didn't even get to do that with you other nephew :( ugh... Release and let go... It is super frustrating how ppl treat pregnant women! Again, soo sorry!

Stephanie - posted on 06/14/2012

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Why can't people just say "How wonderful!" or "I'm happy for you!" My mother taught me that if you can't say anything nice etc. Honestly, I don't think they mean any harm. But it is hard to deal with. You get comments if you have too many kids, the "wrong" sex or too few!

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Patricia - posted on 06/26/2012

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i had 3 girls first who cares girl or boy as long as they are healthy congradulations a beautiful baby boy how wonderful you and your husband are very lucky

Jennifer - posted on 06/24/2012

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Happy healthy baby is all that matters! Next time someone says something just simply tell them you decided you hated pink ;) or comment on something they might not appreciate being told (that always shuts them up!)

CONGRATS on the addition to your happy family!

Mersadees - posted on 06/23/2012

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lol i always thought of boys were the easy ones to handle i grew up with 2 brothers and when i was pregnant i wished for a little boy but had a beautiful baby girl once she was born i couldn't care less what people thought or the fact that i had wanted a boy but had a girl i say as long as that baby is healthy and has happy parents waiting to greet him into the world i say congrats don't worry about what everyone else is saying as long as you are happy and your husband is happy then that's all that should matter congratulations on a bouncing baby boy :)

Amber - posted on 06/22/2012

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Congrats and enjoy those three boys!! I think three boys would be great because now you only have 3 boys to worry about instead of the world of boys should you have had a daughter. :) Small miracles come in many forms.

Billie - posted on 06/19/2012

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congratulations!!! i know what you are going through we are having our third baby girl lol so i know exactly what you mean on the comments. i also wanted a boy with this one and got very upset with people when they would tell me that i was having a girl not that i wont love her more then anything it was just very annoying and uncalled for...

Kathy - posted on 06/18/2012

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I have several friends, that have all boys and as they watch their friends struggle with the typical girl dramas I repeatedly hear them say, "Thank God I have boys." I wish you the best and congratulations!

Susie - posted on 06/17/2012

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I am the proud mother of three grown sons. The first two are 11 mo. and 1 week apart, then 4 years before the next. When the youngest was almost 10, I miscarried - it was another boy! When I had the third one, my mom told me that she had read an article that said being the mother of three boys is a very special person, not that I was upset by the third boy, but it still felt great to hear it. I tell it to every other mother of three boys I meet!
It takes a different person to deal with three boys - different from 4 boys or three boys and a girl - any other combination! I loved raising those boys and am rather proud of the adults they have become, and proud to see them using some of my parenting on their own boys!
I would suggest that you answer these rude, rude people with "it takes a special person to be the mother of three boys and I am proud to be that person."
Best of luck to you and please give each of those precious boys a hug for me!

Freda - posted on 06/17/2012

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I honestly cried at my ultrasound appointment when she told me it was a boy...but i wouldn't change that for anything either...lol

Susan - posted on 06/17/2012

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Hi I have my 7th baby on the way and I had my 3 girls 1st then my 3 boys and now having another boy. I had the same sorts of comments you are getting and I did admittedly cry when I found out my 3rd was another girl but I wouldn't change any of my kids for the world. I get frustrated because ppl judge us for having so many kids and don't think about how well looked after they are which should be all that matters. :) Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

Freda - posted on 06/17/2012

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Congratulations on a healthy baby!!!!!
Three is a handful as I know..I have 3 children 12 yrs old, 7 yrs old and 5 yrs old..1 girl and 2 boys.....My boyz drive me nuts but I LOVE THEM TO DEATH!!!

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2012

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i had the same about it should have been a girl. Another comment was you will be over run with boys, and dont you want a daughter, as tho i could choose the sex of the baby. Well i wish i did have a daughter but i am blessed with three such great handsome boys, and could have been worse. And Cynthia the hormones calm down, well they do with you, just the boys get theirs going in their teens, def an eye opener lol ;)

Kimberly - posted on 06/04/2012

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I have three boys also. Mine are 9yrs, 5 yrs and 3 yrs and I am still getting the "So when is the girl coming?" Just enjoy your boys and ignore their comments. I just keep thinking I don't have to buy clothes so often

Davidandamy - posted on 05/29/2012

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I am a mom of a 5 year old girl and 4 yr old boy... and boy are they different...Thank goodness for that. My husband and I are disgussing a 3rd and are really on the fence because we have one of each. However, I have a friend who had her 3rd boy in December and sh'e so happy even though there was a hope of a girl. I have another friend who is due with her 3rd and it's a girl and her 1st 2 are boys and she was a little upset untill she started buying girl things. She really wanted another boy but they are both happy that they have healthy kids, not what the gender is. So congrats on your boys...they are and will forever be "The boys." Have fun and god bless

Racheal - posted on 03/31/2012

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I swear i could have written this post!!! i am in your EXACT shoes!!!!! i am 22w3d with DS #3 and have gotten every response you had. oh and the 'your going to try for a girl next right?' well excuse me i need to pop this child out first before i can think of that!! jeeeeez! im just glad he is healthy!

Good luck with those comments mama

Rachell - posted on 03/15/2012

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Congrats! People will always have a comment, it is because they are so perfect. When you get a boyfriend, Q is when are you getting engaged, etc.. I had a boy and a girl and wanted another and I got "What you're having another one?" made me feel like I had 20 children not 2. My older sister has 3 boys and sure there are times she too would have liked a girl, but she just dotes on mine and she is very happy with her boys who are now great young men. The good news for you is, you only have your family to please and the rest dont matter too much! You will have so many advantages. Ie hols, kids can all share a room for ever, if you had a girl you would need separate rooms when they're older, boys generally (not always) enjoy similar activities, so less hassle with sports clashing. Clothing & uniform benefits, saving u money. Look i could go on. My point is: In the end it is your own family that really matter, ie you, your partner & kids, people generally dont mean to be insensitive, they just dont think. AND Yes 3 is a handful, but they are your handful. Good luck & enjoy.

Ash - posted on 03/13/2012

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that sucks, boys are awesome, CONGRATS!!! I only have one child but if I were to have another I'd be THRILLED with another boy, seriously, girls are so much harder to raise, imo (being a girl and having 2 sisters).. You are lucky, maybe if you said it's a boy with more enthusiasm people would feel that you are glad.. I'm not saying you aren't but maybe your disappointment is showing in your tone or something.. God Bless you and your boys!!

Jill - posted on 01/01/2012

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we also just had our 3rd healthy boy in November! congrats to you and your family. I was also frustrated with the "oh another boy" responses from family and friends. I started just saying actually its exactly what we wanted and people stopped pretty quickly. I was grateful since I already know what to expect with boys and have all the things, clothes and toys they need! A girl would have been nice, but a healthy baby boy is a special blessing. enjoy your pregnancy and baby boy!

Erinn - posted on 12/28/2011

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I married a widow who has 3 boys form his first wife. We have been arried for 5 years and I have had 2 boys. The last baby is now 18 months. When i was pregnant i had 2 ultra sounds in which the doctor told us that it looks like a girl! I was so thrilled, i had a baby shower and all. Wouldnt you know a boy poped out. I got the same response. Well i guess you should "try" again and mybe you will get a girl. Let me tell you, he is the best little boy ever! We couldnt imagine life with out him, and as soon as everyone meets this baby theywill say the same. For now just say "well God knew i could only handle boys"! Or you were destined to have many men in your life!
take it from me you will have your moments of crazy boys but they will love you like no other !
Congrats!

Jacque - posted on 12/21/2011

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congats on your son we have 9 boys and 6 girls and as long as there healthy that is all that matters

Kristy - posted on 12/16/2011

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We have 3 boys and experience the same thing. My youngest son is 5, and people still give us a hard time. I'm just have to remember I've been blessed enough to have 3 wonderful, healthy and beautiful children; regardless of gender :-)

Rachell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Some people have no clue. Try and surround yourself with considerate people. Who cares if they are boys or girls, they are a product of you & their father! And their tag says "Made with Love". People that used to ask me what I was having I used to say "A Camel". What do u think I am having? ALso people used to give me grief over having a third baby, cause I already had one of each... Are people serious? Such an annoying habit people have and they do not even know they are being rude. People that have girls for pink/dolls/hair & boys for cars/blue etc.. will only be dissappointed. People that make silly statements NEVER learn. Questions start long before, you are just unaware at the time. When are u moving in 2gether? When are u getting engaaged/married, When is the first baby coming? Anymore? Then it is what another one? Dont u have TV! I am married with 3 children, which apparently a third baby meant I had 3 heads by some of the looks I got. Good luck... lol

Carlie - posted on 12/05/2011

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Congratulations. Does that make me the second person?!! (just messing with ya) Really though......you've been given a gift......and as with all gifts....treasure what you've been given!! When people asked, "What are you hoping for?" I would say, "A boy or a girl-doesn't matter-as long as the baby is healthy....but if my baby is not as healthy as I wish, or if my baby were to have health related issues....I would love my child, regardless......" Because really.....that's all a child ever really wants....to be loved. Right? Right. Congratulations again! :)

Charlotte - posted on 12/04/2011

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Congratulations on no 3 - people tend to open their mouths and jump right in with both feet. We have 3 boys and they are brilliant - wouldn't have it any other way. When no4 turned out to be a girl I couldn't count the number of people who asked me if we only had 4 as we were trying for a girl. Uh no - we wanted 4 children and are blessed with 4 happy and healthy children. The fact that we have 3 boys and 1 girl is great but our daughter in no way denegrates the 2 middle boys as they were part of our plan. Enjoy bab no3 I am sure he will be as much of a blessing to your family as the 2 boys you already have.

Katie - posted on 12/03/2011

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aww hun, somebody was a dumb ass to say that to you. Boys are a ton of fun!! Congratulations! Get a sitter and take yourself shopping!!

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2011

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We are having our 2nd child. And it will be our 2nd boy. We also got the same response from people. Ya know the one where people say "Oh it would have been nice to have one of both. " We are happy to have another boy and to be able to reuse clothes !!!! I think if they can say something like that - that I can say something right back at them !!! Which I have - Ive asked "What is that suppose to mean". Good luck to you :)

Krystyna - posted on 11/30/2011

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Just ignore all of that nonsense! The most important thing is that you and your baby/kids are all healthy and happy!

I have 7 yr old twins (boy/girl) and a 5 yr old boy. 3 IS a handful and that is NO LIE.

Lillie - posted on 11/26/2011

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Oh, dear! People can be so insensitive! Well, congratulations on the upcoming birth of your precious child! My husband and I had 3 daughters before our son came along. The daughters are now 28, 26, and 19 and our son is now 6! haha Yep... we got the blessing of a lifetime by having another child when I was 45! And, a lot of people remarked that my husband "finally had his boy". I met that remark with "Oh, we're just thrilled to have a healthy, beautiful, happy baby! It could have been another girl and we would have still been thrilled! When someone remarks in the negative about the sex of the baby, respond by saying "My children are all precious to me... boy or girl. Sex doesn't determing our love." They'll get the hint quick!

Allison - posted on 11/23/2011

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I have 3 boy's 7, 5 and 10 months. I am pregnant with our 4th boy due in April. I feel for you because I have had to go thru this as well. Maybe worse. Not only was 4 a surprise and I was settled into the idea that I was the Mom of all boy's. Although I have always wanted a girl my boy's are wonderful, healthy and love their Mommy. After the shock of #4 and #3 being 14 months apart wore off, of course I hoped for one little girl. Well, God had other plans. The WORST part besides the CONSTANT comments of "maybe it's a girl" or when they found out it was a boy "oh, too bad". NO we are happy with our healthy surprise thank you. My husbands whole family, including aunts , uncles, parents EVERYONE with all 4 told me that they would all be boy's. Apparently because they all priduce all the same gender. All boy's except an aunts son has all girls. Well, their dumb answer to that all the men in the family produce boy's and since his Mom is a female it was his Father. What a bunch of idiots. Non of them seem to recall the grandparents had 3 boy's and 2 girls. I swear some people are dumb. But when we found out we were having #4 I never heard congrats!!!! But rather "well, you know it will be a boy"? Really? I never realized they were God. CONGRATULATIONS to you and a healthy boy that loves his Mama is a wonderful thing.

Reece - posted on 11/21/2011

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I found out Friday I'm having another boy. I was so freaking excited! We had a running bet and most of my friends voted 'Girl' 18-3 actually. When I found out 'boy' I actually had several saying they wished it was a girl. Our little Mom group only has one girl in it. One very very tough, down and dirty, screw that dress, girl. I dislike dresses LOL

Carmela - posted on 11/21/2011

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Congratulations....it is a blessing to be able to have a child...let alone boy or girl. As long as they are healthy. Have fun with your third bundle of joy!! :)

April - posted on 11/19/2011

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I have three girls. I get similar comments all the time...



"all girls? No boys??? Really?? Just wait until they're teenagers!!!" when they don't know my circumstances...



I also get the "you must have your hands full."



Well, no, I actually REALLY don't. My kids are awesome, are very dependently independent on themselves. (meaning, they DO come to me if they cant do something themselves but will do it if they CAN) and they rarely fight, bicker or argue...are homeschooled and very well behaved.



I cant stand people that make comments like it but I just smile with venom in my eyes that tells them to back off when I get them....people normally get the point when I fire back with a retort.





congrats! :)

Terina - posted on 11/19/2011

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im with you , i would get very frustarted at the fact people assume you are disapointed having another boy when the truth is your happy about it anyway, your right its a handful regardless of sex , baby boys or baby girls are blessings weather you have 1 or 4 of the same sex that baby is welcomed into the world just like it was your first, :0)

Samantha - posted on 11/18/2011

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been there and been in that boat, it really upset me being that I miscarried twins before I got pregnant with our third little boy, and to think that I would actually "be disappointed that my third baby was a boy and not a girl since I already had 2 boys" I was just glad to be having a healthy baby- and to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way :) no sex of a baby makes a child more special then the next people sheesh.....

Bec - posted on 11/14/2011

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I have 3 boys and on the third we knew it was going to be a boy but wanted to keep it secret....family members wanted us to have a girl so much they even bought us girly gifts....we ended up having to tell everyone cause i didnt want everyone to be dissapointed when he was born. And now i am pregnant with baby number 4....it is beginning all over again!!! Kids are kids and boys are just as much hard as girls...it comes down to personality. I would love my 4th to be a girl but am very happy with another boy....i just wish everyone else was!!

Kimberly - posted on 11/14/2011

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Three kids are three kids. One two or three.what ever you are pregnant and it is your business. I had people tell me that and I have two boys. I wanted more but can not have more I am a bit old and I was pushed into getting my tubes tied. Any way I regress Congratulations to you and you family.

Diamond - posted on 11/14/2011

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dont stress it! If you were meant to have three boys then you were meant to have three boys! =) As long as they are happy and healthy and your happy with it then people can eff off..i personally could care less if I have a girl lol

Ashley - posted on 11/13/2011

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Congrats!
I get the reaction all the time like I should be disapointed with another boy. I love my first 2 why would I be upset? I also have everything and can tell you how many different ways a boy can pee on you in a split second lol. I also see how close my husband is to his brothers and I know that my boys will be friends as well as brothers.

Daphne - posted on 11/12/2011

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Aww Congrat's on baby #3 ♥

Ohh I'm so sorry to hear that! Some people just dont think huh.......... I got the same thing when we found out our 2nd baby was another boy! I was equally as happy to have another boy as what I would have been if baby had been a girl :) I'm still getting harrased about when where going to "try" for a girl lol.. Ahh if or when we had another 1 we really dont care what we get lol :)

All the best with your baby x

Angela - posted on 11/03/2011

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Oh I TOTALLY understand!!! I had my 3rd boy in July and had the same responses.. And personally I think 3 boys are awesome!! I wouldnt trade any of them for a girl thats for sure! We would love a daughter but we dearly love our boys and feel very blessed that they are healthy! And yes they are a handful but its my life not theirs. I want 5 anyway...ha My husband says 1 more and we are done :) we will see who wins..ha Anyway, u go girl!!! 3 boys are great!!!!!

Charity - posted on 11/02/2011

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i am happy for you and congrats. Every child is a blessing and a miracle in gods eyes, but the more blessed event is when the parents get to hold them for the first time and look in there eyes. And no there is nothing you would do to let anyone hurt them and you will love them for the rest of there lives. I still say boy and girl i agree with you are a handful every day. But either way you are right people should be happy if not just ignore them.

Reece - posted on 10/30/2011

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The next time someone asks you "Oh are you going to try again for a girl?" ask them if they want to carry the baby for you.

Dee - posted on 10/29/2011

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it's helpful because some people might not realize they are implying disappointment on your part. ideas? if it was me i might try replying with great enthusiasm "YES i am having another boy! isn't that exciting??? " or "Yes we are working on a hockey team :) " if they are too annoying you could ask them if they think you are disappointed and put them on the spot....anyway congrats!! i am happy for you...

Kimrose - posted on 10/27/2011

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UGH. I'm sorry and I totally understand! You try to be *above* it, but it plays on whatever *tiny* part of you even thought about the other gender AND somehow makes you have to be defensive for the BLESSING you are having - all while you're PREGNANT and emotional! :-0 ;( I had my second son this past January and had heard TONS of "girl" comments - I'm 41 and both Grammy's have all Grandsons so it felt like they'd be SOOO excited if it were a girl - I almost felt bad for the baby - not being what everyone wanted most. ♥ I really do believe that everything happens for a reason - well, most things at least - this being one of them. My boys are SUPER crazy-about-eachother - a love I couldn't even have TRIED to force upon them. The brother-bond is amazing and they're 6 years old and 9 months - I really never could have known how absolutely SWEET it would be. Some days I miss the simplicity of meeting only one child's needs - it's hard to divide your time/attention, etc...but this is clearly exactly the way our family was meant to go..and grow ;) People will *ALWAYS* have something to say (SIGH) - the more you can keep echoing your "oh - we're totally excited", etc. and just brush it off completely, the better. WISHING YOU A BEAUTIFUL BIRTH and the wonderful experience of giving each of your boys a brother ♥ :)

Sheria - posted on 10/27/2011

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We just had baby boy number 3 and 4!! LOL I get sick of hearing, " you are outnumbered, you needed a girl" or "one more and you'll have a basketball team" Grrr LOL I'm completely happy with having all 4 boys! It would have been nice to have a little girl and dress her up (since there is hardly ANYTHING cute for boys) but I enjoy raising boys and am really thankful for them.. as I am sure you are as well!! Congratulations on baby boy #3!!! :)

Kasha - posted on 10/26/2011

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No matter the circumstances, someone will have something to say. Our first two were Girl, then Boy...of course started...oh, how perfect...1 girl 1boy, now you can be done.(As if I was not entitled to anymore since I already had their definition of the 'perfect' family.) Then...almost 4 yrs later we had twins...when I had them without the other two I got the same response, til I told them, oh...they have an older sister and brother too...then the looks completely changed...If I have them all together, I get the disgusted looks of having too many kiddos(which makes me laugh because if I had three...no one would think a thing, but since I crossed that magic number to 4...WOW). I get the comment, wow...you have your handsful!, I just comment back..."Somedays". Only one comment made me VERY mad, and somehow had the grace to answer sternly, but not yelling...A lady said, Oh, she has more than she can handle....I kept going, and loudly stated, no...alot somedays, but NEVER more than I can handle. Once at the store, a man had the gall to say, "You know what causes that?"....I had my children, so I refrained from making a very huge compliment to my husband...

Christie - posted on 10/25/2011

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I heard the SAME thing when I was only prego with #2 (which turned out to be a girl) They all asked me what I would do if it was another boy...DUH LOVE IT!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! :D

Bethany - posted on 10/23/2011

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Along with everyone else, congratulations on a healthy 3rd BABY!! While we have 3 as well but 2 boys and the youngest a girl, I would've been happy with 3 boys. In fact, before the first one I was actually scared I would only have girls and really wanted at least 1 boy. I know several friends with 3 boys or 3 girls and that was exactly what they had hoped for. We actually had been planning on 4, but our girl was a surprise that came much sooner than we planned so we've decided to stop for now. It had nothing to do with whether she was a boy or a girl. I am so happy to be able to experience a daughter and sons, but the boys are so different it is basically just experiencing 3 KIDS. Many people make comments without meaning to be insulting. Perhaps they are trying to be understanding thinking you might be disappointed without a girl. I know my boys seem to be "more work" than my girl; not in a bad way and many of my friends feel the same way about their girls. Perhaps some people are falling into the stereotypes about boys, how active they are and that men always want boys and women always want girls. Of course it's hard to hear those comments, especially when you are feeling emotional. But you obviously love all your boys and are happy to have them, and that's what matters.

Jessica - posted on 10/19/2011

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Congratulations on another healthy baby boy! I am a single mom with one 5 year old I got a somewhat similar comment from a lady who was appalled that I wasn't having another child. "They have to grow up together you are robbing her of a sibling" Really!!!! I would be happy to have another child but sometimes life happens the way it happens

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