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good idea- bad idea- teach a bullied 13 year old girl how to throw a punch straight to the nose

Daisy - posted on 01/12/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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i have a 13 year old cousin who is being bullied by other girls. i only just heard of this and know very few details. the mothers (my mom and her sister) wants my boyfriend to teach her how to fight in "self-defense" (he's a kick boxer). He seems to think that punching and doing physical damage to the biggest of the bullies will get the other girls to leave her alone. thinking that once they see her stand up for herself they'll back off. i think that it'll only escalate. thoughts?

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Centain - posted on 04/11/2012

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Depends on the nature of the bullying. With girls, quite often it is verbal and emotional harassment rather than physical. If this is the case, if she was to turn around and crack one of them in the face, it's likely that she would be the one facing disciplinary action from the school, as the bullies had not actually touched her.
If it is verbal harassment (teasing, name calling etc.), then maybe you could help give her some pointers on how to respond (ignoring them DOES NOT WORK, and in fact makes it worse as you appear an easy target who poses no risk of embarrassing retribution to the bully
I'd be taking a look at some of the main bullies, try to find out a little about them and their families, establish their weak/vulnerable points, and give your cousin some really cold, hurtful and embarrassing ammunition to fire back with. Go as low and as harsh as you can, nothing's off-limits, this works, especially if you hit a nerve with any of the bullies. They will be so embarrassed or hurt they will steer clear and encourage their friends to also steer clear.
If this doesn't work you can always ruin their reputations on the Internet.
If I ever have a daughter and any other girl dares to bully her, god help them because I'd give it to them as hard and ruthless as I would to a grown up equal.

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