Mikki - posted on 04/16/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )
A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with my dad. The conversation turned ugly very quick. It wasn't meant to sound that way, but it did. My father wasn't angry at me, but he is more than concerned with things. One of the things is my physical problems. The other things have to do with the fact that my daughter, though she may look absolutely adorable, is indeed extremely dangerous and intelligent beyond her years. She is swift, cunning, agile and (when she sets her mind to do something) extremely determined. If she is set to hurt someone, she will. If she intends to manipulate someone, she will. I have come to grips with the fact that there is no cure for ODD... I have also come to grips with the fact that there is no "getting better" from it. The older she gets, the more her intelligence feeds into it.
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my heart. However, I have looked for a long time at the resources I have to give her what she needs... and the resources I do not. She is in respite/treatment care right now. The woman caring for her has more resources at her fingertips now than I will ever have. This is something I have come to accept. As well, I am fully aware that my body has problems that are not going to heal. I know that full well. My problem is one of severity... it is something that has been creeping in my thoughts for a long time now... and every time it rears its ugly head, I push it back. However, now it is time for me to think about it.
It may hurt her and it may hurt me... but in the end, it may mean the betterment of her in the long run. It may mean that she is able to have more of a normal life than I would ever be able to offer her. I wouldn't blame her for being angry with me, but due to her intelligence level, she would understand it now... although she would be emotional as well. There are ups and downs to it.
My question is this: Have any of you considered adoption for your children, knowing that you cannot give them what they need and knowing that there is someone out there who can? If so, what would you do and where would you start?