my partner died 3 months ago in a car crash

Michelle - posted on 03/20/2009

Hi Michelle,

My name is also michelle.  Almost two years ago, on July 15th 2007, I lost my partner to a car accident too. We were on our way home from the lake in different cars. He tried to pass me and ended up colliding with a tractor. At the time of the accident I didn't know it but i was almost a month pregnant with our daughter. I too felt the way you did... I had a hard time while I was pregnant with her because I was afraid she would look just like him and I was sure that would hurt.

I too am devasted that my daughters father never got the chance to watch her grow up. I hate to think that she can never really know who her father was or what kind of person he was.

I just wanted to say hang in there... And let you know that it gets a little better each and every day. Be strong for your daughter.

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2009

thank you so much for your stories and advice,it is great to talk to people in the same position. im glad you are all doin ok and and be able to carry on in life. theres so much out there for us al to see and share with our little ones. xx

Tracey - posted on 01/31/2009

My heart goes out to you. So very sad. I know exactly what you mean - you know he's not coming back but it feels like he'll just walk in the door. You are very brave and it is unfair. My husband died 9 months ago and the first 6 months were a living hell. But it is getting easier. I'm finally figuring out who I am without him. I am sure you will be able to tell your little girl all the wonderful things you remember about him through her life which will make him so real to her.

God bless.

Cheryl - posted on 01/30/2009

i really am sorry about your loss i lost my partner may 2008 after a motorbike accident he collided with a lorry and a car it helps knowing that there are other people in similar circumstances like my self i dont think you ever get over such a big loss you just learn to live with it you will never forget the person i felt that my partner was still around i kept going cold and felt that he was holdin me some times. i have a 10 year old daughter and she feels the lost and i know she will never forget him.

it will be hard for you but try and be strong for your daughter keep a special box with photos of your partner and other things in so when she is a bit older she will have something to remind her of her dad and it helps you too when you feel low try to get the box out and look at the things you have put in it it does help .

also there are groups out there for parents who have lost partners too and if you feel you need councelling too i do reccommend it as you will have some one to talk too apart from family they also say the first year is the hardest too and i can tell you this you will have good days but you will have bad and if you need to cry just cry please dont hold all your emotions in as it will make you ill it sounds like you have good support from your family and i hope that you will get through this

i am only 30 and lost my partner who was 36

they always seem to take the good ones first

try and be strong for your daughter

cheryl x

Lilita - posted on 01/29/2009

Hi Michelle,

I'm very sorry for your loss..

My partner died 14 months ago of asthma attack and it still feels like yesterday. I know how hard it is, especially with the loss of your brother as well, but you have your little girl that will always remind you of him and what you had. My daughter is so much like her father and it does make me sad sometimes, but i'm so happy to have her, because I don't know where I'd be without her. she's a little life saver.

But I wanted to tell you how lucky you are to have seen him with your baby, you've had a whole year together and you have photos, and lots of precious memories about your family life. I have none of that and although I've accepted what happened, I'd give anything for a chance to buy him a bit more time. just to see them together.

I feel that James is looking after us and i'm sure your partner is looking after you two as well. Be strong and i'm sure life has some good stuff in store for you. x