20yr old son is making bad decisions regarding friends--HELP!

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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He cant say no and is not recognizing when someone is trying to use him. I just pulled him from this semester because he was going to be rooming with a girl who was his "friend" --fine I don't agree with it but I have heard of co-ed. But, this girl was not working or in school (he lives off campus) she is to put it mildly a skank. I met her, she has no place to live-she goes from one place to another, she has her mom, but doesn't want to live with her (saw her moms place--filthy). Her so called boyfriend wont let her live with him. She had no money for deposit/1st months rent, and seemed put off when I asked her how did she expect to pay her way. My son just purchased a used truck and she was telling him she couldn't wait to drive it! I told her never! Her appearance is appalling, no make up, dingy clothes, poor hygiene (teeth), and constantly carrying a vape pipe.
My son just clammed up, he knew I was livid. He just said, "shes really nice" "she pays me back when I loan her money" Needless to say we both agreed to skip a sememster--the university is 6 hrs away from me and I don't trust him to make proper decisions with that girl around. By the wa, she has his new TV and playstation, he loaned it to her for the summer!!
Hes home now and my mom called to tell me his truck in the driveway had the plates removed, I called him and asked him why? He says he lent them to his friend who needs them for God knows what??? He comes from a good, stable family, Im a single parent but never had any problems, what is going on??

He doesn't have many friends and maybe hes trying to fit in, but sometimes you have to say no. I notice that when his "friends" call, he jumps to their needs, but theyre never there for him. I know I cant continue interfering, at some point he'll have to learn by his mistakes. Im afraid he'll end up in jail or on drugs with such bad judgment! He wont talk, he just clams up and that's no good. I think he has poor self esteem. He's been a good kid, good student, works part time job--never had to force him. I don't know how to handle this, what can I do?

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Sarah - posted on 08/07/2017

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He is an adult, there is not really anything you can do. How does this girl have his possessions if they live together? Is she on the lease? What will he do if he isn't going to school? Why was skipping a semester of college even an option?

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