College trouble?

Amanda - posted on 10/14/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is home from college and is thinking of not going back, how do I encourage him to return? (He is 20)

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Cheryl - posted on 11/04/2010

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That's difficult because you used the word "encourage" and I just had the hard choice to make this morning about whether to wake up my son( who has just gotten out of the army) for a job interview, or just let him suffer the consequences of being late and possibly not getting the job because of it.. so today I decided to wake him and he actually thanked me because his alarm didn't go off.. low on battery.. so ok I did it this once but will I do it again?/ I don't know. What we always said was after hi school they could live with us to go to college and not pay rent but get a parttime job for their expenses, or if not going to college but still wanted to live with us or at least til they had money saved for an apartment, they had to get full time or 2 part time jobs.. anyway we made the home available for them one way or the other.. not everyone is cut out for school, some do better with on the job or vocational training, maybe ask him what the problem is, it might be something fixable, like just changing majors; nothing wrong with that.. Our sons changed several times and finally found their niches and all are either in grad school or headed there..I changed mine several times too. If they are going to change might as well be in the lower division, general ed years where they have more options, they have time to make choices and changes they feel comfortable with, we never berated any of them for not being happy with one or the other of their majors..We wanted them to be happy doing what they wanted Our oldest, who is now with us and finishing college, bounced around in his early 20's with jobs and classes and traveling the world selling orange cleaner, and finally went into the army. We supported him in all of his choices, as hard as it was to see him making some of them.. What does he like to do?/ He has to have some other options; tell him he can't just not do anything.. Is he depressed, or does he need some academic counseling? All these are things to consider, young people have a lot of pressure these days and we need to be there to support them in ways that are healthy and not just footing the bill for them to do nothing.. Let him have a reasonable break or vacation, if needed, but then he has to get back to real life....Hope this helps!!

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Darlene - posted on 01/23/2011

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What is the reason he dosent want to go back? and when did he go to college? what year is this for him? At 20 i think that all you can really do is express your desires for him to have a good life and how important education is but ultimately it is his decision,maybe he feels it just isnt for him,maybe he went to soon after high school,maybe some time off will let him realize it is best,just keep talking and praying ...but he is an adult now.what does he plan to dosent return?

Sophie - posted on 10/14/2010

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what year is he in?.. what are his reasons?.. he is an adult now.... and you cant force him to go back.. but talk to him and let him know how difficult it will be to find a decent job without his degree. if he is going into his last year.. he might as well finish it .. maybe locally if he doesnt want to go back there...

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