[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )
I am at my wits end with my daughters and I could use some suggestions. I live in a remote area and have no one to confide in so I am taking this opportunity to ask others going through this if I am being too harsh. My 21-year old is very responsible with her school work. She is an accomplished musician and has gone to college on scholarships with both academic and musical awards.. I would like to think I had a small part in helping her arrive to this point. Yet since she has been in a 2 year relationship our relationship is at an all time low. I work full-time as an Assistant Education Director at a prison, so to say my job is stressful is putting it mildly. I also go to grad school full-time (online) an have an hour commute each way to work.
In the last few months, I have allowed her and her girlfriend to live here to save money. My daughter this past week auditioned at Yale school of music and I am very proud of her. She has a very busy schedule so i try to give her a lot of space. Recently she invited me to an awards dinner for a competition she won. Her accompanist and girl friend were also at the dinner. I did not get to sit next to my daughter but rather next to an accompanist whom i do not know. My daughter basically said hello and goodbye during the entire dinner. When my daughter went to play for the event the girlfriend said nothing. These ladies live with me. Recently my job was eliminated and I have had to take a $6000 pay cut. I am paying $70 a month for a storage unit for all there things and do not have access to it. Their bedroom is filled with dirty clothes on the floor and stuff piled in boxes to the ceiling. i have asked this stuff be moved to the storage unit and it has fallen on deaf ears. Three weeks ago, they brought home 2 cats and said they would take care of them. They did not even ask if it was ok (I have asthma). I have been taking care of the cats. The girlfriend will not say hello or goodbye when she is in the house. I do not even know the last time we ate a meal together (before the awards dinner, i think it's been 3 months). I pay for the cell phone, they do not clean up their messes and a dorm room looks better than their room. My daughter says i should speak to her girlfriend and the girlfriend would not discuss it. I am so hurt by this disrespectful behavior. i am a single mom, and have done everything I can to support both of my daughters. Tonight I told her this behavior had to stop. She informed me that I offered to pay for the monthly fee for the storage unit. They do not pay rent, utilities,nothing. I'm okay with that. But this behavior is outrageous. I told her that she would have to move out if this situation did not get better. She got angry and said this is the last thing she needed. I have not heard from my 25 year old daughter for months. The things that is upsetting is that I don't think they want me in their lives. They never seem to want to know how I'm doing or that they love me. They do not seem to care. not even a Christmas card. I hate to get angry with them but they don't even acknowledge what i am saying. Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated. Discouraged in Florida.