HES GONNA BE LIVING ON HIS OWN MY ONLY CHILD AND HES GONNA BE 22 SHOULD I BE THIS SAD

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Paula - posted on 07/11/2009

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You will be fine, he has to grow up..... make a date with him if he lives close by to go to dinner. Keep things open. Make it a reuglar thing. Either once a week or what fits in your schedule and his. If he is too far for the dinner thing. Make a phone date. I did the phone date with my oldest when she went off to college. Call home every thursday no matter what the week had. Some weeks it was more some only Thursdays. The youngest refused to comply regualarly with that rule. I loved my Thursdays calls. It remineded me they were my children and they were becoming adults. The conversations were sometimes light and sometimes indepth. Touching base with your adult kids is a good thing as long as we realize they are adults. They call for advise and sometimes just to vent about life. The ear a mother has is one that should not critizie. Suggest and pray a lot. You will make it through his adulthood. And then you can laugh at it all. The weekly calls go down to every other week eventually. But keepign in touch allows for no BIG suprises later. Enjoy your new found freedom.

Tammy - posted on 07/11/2009

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Absolutely. Every Mom has a right to morn the change of their baby into an adult!

Cheryl - posted on 07/11/2009

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yes!definately but I would suggest that you get a hobbie -it helps alotmy boys both graduated h.s. at the same time so Ilost 2 a once!! it does get easier,I promise!!!

Jeannie - posted on 07/11/2009

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Embrace the future, think of all the things you can do that you could not do with a child at home, even an adult child. Be happy that you raised a good kid that is going out into the world and making a life for themselves and contributing to your countries future. LIFE IS GOOD, enjoy it!

Anita - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hi Debbie,



I don't know you, but I completely understand how you feel. My daughter who is my only child will be 19 next month and is in college. I keep looking at her baby book and the dvd from her sweet 16 and wonder where did the time go. It seems like yesterday I bought her home from the hospital. She has a summer job this year...emotionally it is so hard to believe that she is a young woman now. When she voted in november for the first time I cried....lol So I can't imagine the day she leaves the nest.

Rhonda - posted on 07/09/2009

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It was but it isn't. I have 3 of my own and 4 others that are associated in some way. It was hard for me to have my only daughter go to college in VA when we lived in CA. It was the best thing for both of us. Her moving away was as important as when your child goes to pre-school,r that first day of kindergarten. It must happen it's part of growth and a step toward adult hood and or maturity. College is the same way. They must stay in the dorm the first summester or two. So they can become individuals and socialized to become who they are going to be in this diverse world we live in. I say this because my 23 almost 24 year old still lives at home. I have my 16 year old left he is the baby. I will feel different I'm sure when it is his turn to leave or stay. I said they could all stay but they have to do what they feel they need to do. It's important that they have choices.

Misti - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hi Martha, Its ok to be sad. If you weren't sad you would have no feelings for him. My son just graduated high school this past May, 09 and he is 18. He took a job last tuesday on a pipeline in Arkansas. We are almost 9 hours away from him. I am sad that he is gone, however I am happy he has a good job that pays him very well. Does your son live close to you? Hopeing all is well.....

Donna - posted on 07/09/2009

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Honestly the more you cling the more they avoid you. Be the one person he can come to no matter what happens and belive me you have to bite you tongue at times and remember its not the same when you and I grew up. If he can tell you anything because he knows you are not going to get on his case then you are going to know everything that is going on in his life.and just maybe he will listen to you. I do this and I am really glad I did. One of the hardest things in life is letting our children go and live their life, we want so bad to have that control to keep them safe. But we are not always going to be here and they need to find out just like we did. Best of luck

Tammy - posted on 07/09/2009

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Yes you have ever right to be sad you carried him for 9 months gave birth and raised him into the young man he is now. But your mothering won't stop just because he's not in your home. And at first he's gonna act like he's got it all together but live for the moments when he calls JUST to check in and say I Love You these will be your new found mommy highs! And most of all you need to involve yourself in something that helps staying busy!

Tammey - posted on 07/08/2009

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sad is ok. You are just moving on to the next steps in your life to. lots of changes but thats good. it will be ok.:)

Mona - posted on 07/08/2009

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Debbie,
My oldest is 17 and just graduated from high school. He immediately wanted to move in with a friend. I told him he has to wait until he's 18 in September. I'm not sure now what he'll be doing then... besides going to college... I'm too scared to ask him. I know when he does decide to move I will be a mess... hell I'm a mess just thinking about it now.
I've recently started preparing myself... we are both on MySpace so we can stay connected, I've gotten used to texting him now so it won't be weird later, I will be involved - as in purchasing pots, pans, towels, etc., I joined Circle of Moms, I've made a list of books I want to read, crochet projects and hobbies I want to get into (going Green and gardening). Getting a pet would keep your mommy skills right on going.
Find a project to keep your mind busy... maybe making a recipe book for him...dang that's a good idea I think I'll do that too. Catch up with old friends and make new ones.
You have lots to offer... so keep going, chin up... I'll be rereading this for myself in September. *smiles*
btw, I love what Lisa said, "Motherhood is the only job that you work very hard at in order to work yourself out of the job."
That is so very true.

Lisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Yes, it is ok to be sad. My oldest, who is 19, moved out the end of June and I was sad. I am happy now because our relationship has really changed for the better and I am happy that I was successful in raising her to take care of her self. Motherhood is the only job that you work very hard at in order to work yourself out of the job.

Pam - posted on 07/08/2009

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Debbie,

I cried all day and the the two days after when my only son decided to move out and in with his team mates about 15 minutes away. Knowing that I would see him almost everyday anyway I was still sad not to have him here, so yes it's OK to be sad.

-Pam

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