I am ask to much to return my calls

Nancy - posted on 10/18/2009

My son is a senior. We have worked out a couple things that might help others. If I need him to respond to something, I email with the statement "Need response by tomorrow" in subject, then the first line in the email is to be the question or need. It is NOT to be hidden somewhere in the paragraph. If it is a FYI email, I put that in the subject and he reads it when he can and I am NOT to expect a response, or I might get a response in a few days of "nice". I get a weekly phone call, sometimes only 5 minutes long and at that time we might go over issues. Only during a longer break at holidays or especially during the summer do we really chat. He is BUSY with classes and work and I only add on stress when my demands are present. I have learned that often, I need to go to my husband or a close friend and no longer my son or his friends with chatty stuff. He will call me or email if he has a question. (We are considered close by many of his friends and I DO miss many things!) I would say do NOT text as that is a nuisance when they are in class. Give them room to grow!

Lisa - posted on 10/18/2009

I also agree wit Vivian, My son is a freshman as well. If you lay low and allow her to reach out to you when she is ready you will get more time to speak with her than usuall. However, I noticed text messaging gets a much faster response.

Tracy - posted on 10/17/2009

I agree with Vivan, let her miss you. but if she still doesn't call send her a letter in the mail and tell her how much you love her and that a relationship is two way - not one way and she needs to keep up her end of it. Explain to her that it is rude and inconsiderate to let you worry about her. Ask her how she would feel if she really needed you and you did not return her phone calls or answer when she called and left her hanging (make her answer that question)!!!! maybe then she will get it. if she keeps it up then when she calls do not answer and see if she then "gets it" this should work.

Vivian - posted on 10/08/2009

I do the same thing Cheryl does - LOL! I check myspace for entries and I know he's okay. We Mother's sure do need some help. LOL

Vivian - posted on 10/08/2009

My son is a freshmen in college and I was concerned that he wasn't calling me, answering my calls, etc. I'm a worry wart so I feel like I need to hear from him at least once a day whether it be by text or a phone call. My male cousin told me - "leave the boy alone Viv - let him miss you. Don't call or text." I also realized that he always calls me when he needs me or has a question - no doubt about that. I followed this advise and no more than 48 hrs. passes without a txt or phone call from my son. Let her MISS YOU Renee.

Cheryl - posted on 10/08/2009

I know its hard not talking to my daughter all the time like we used to, but I am just hanging in there and trying to give her a little space. I check for her on facebook and myspace when I see entries I know at least she is ok. Hang in there it will get better. They have to spread their wings a little then they realize what is important.

Julia - posted on 10/07/2009

i told my daughter that if i pay for the iphone,at least she can do is text me every other day or so.just so i don't worry.if she doesn't call by 2 or 3 days i text her,and usually they will at least text back.gives me some peace of mind.hope this helps.good luck . it does get better.

Beth - posted on 10/04/2009

I find the more I nag my son, the more likely he is not to pick up or return my calls. Just let your daughter know you are thinking of her, that you'll wait for her call back. Would an offer to buy her something new to wear to work get her to call? You know, entice her a little bit. I'm assuming that like me most moms of college kids are still buying most of their clothes and stuff anyway so it's not quite a bribe. Good luck and try to let go as excruciatingly hard as that is.

Brenda - posted on 10/04/2009

I had to tell my son I expected a call once a week, he could pick the day. He picked Friday, when he did I thought oh yea, like he would really call on a Friday night. So far however he has talked to me every Friday (sometimes just to say Hey I am okay talk to ya later)...But I figure since he is trying to go on his own this is good enough. He has called at other times and talked to me about boring stuff (games etc...), I let him talk and ask questions towards the end of the calls. It seems to work. Just a thought.

Renee - posted on 10/04/2009

thanks Anna, but it make me feel like I was bad mother, i don't expect to talk to her everday. Once a week would be nice. She text, email or call

Anna - posted on 09/30/2009

It is hard to communicate with our kids when they are out of the area. I think it's because they feel like they are adults now and don't need mom interfering. Do you really think she is being disrespectful or just selfish? It could just be that she feels like you are nagging her. I do not contact my daughter every day, but when we do connect, then I ask about interviews and grades and such. I kind of let her lead the way.



I would let it go for now but bring it up next time you connect with her. Let her know how you felt left out and hurt. You might even want to ask why she didn't bother to return your calls about the interview. (Maybe if she didn't get it she was disappointed or embarrassed.) But then ask her how she wants to communicate with you. She is growing up and we do have to give them more lea way even though it is hard on us mothers.



It is hard for me too because my daughter and I were really close, but she started moving away from me the summer before she left for college. I shed a lot of tears, I can tell you, but I am better now. :)