My 21 year old daughter is mean and disrespectful to me and I'm not taking it anymore!

Karen - posted on 03/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

I have a 21 year old daughter in college. She has a part-time job, however, I pay her utilities, cell phone, gas, tuition, books, etc. She is an only child and I have created a monster by giving her everything she wants. She is totally rude and disrespectful and speaks to me any kind of way. She yells at me and tells me that she is grown and that I'm a college drop out. I told her I may be a college drop out, but I go to work each day so that she doesn't have to be one. She yells at me over the phone and hangs up in my face. I was at work the other day stressed and crying from all of this. Her dad does absolutely nothing for her, but he gets all the love and respect. I don't understand it. She called me the other day and said she was going on a trip for Spring break. I told her that she could not afford a trip and, if she can afford a trip, then she can afford to pay her own bills. That's when all hell broke out. We have been battling over the phone for 2 days and I have decided this is not worth my stress and unhappiness. She said some horrible things to me yesterday that has made me decide to cut the financial strings and let her do this thing called "life" on her own. She makes enough to pay her bills, but it's the extra things like clothes, nails, hair etc, that she can't afford. Therefore, mommy comes to her princess rescue. No more! I told her to sit down and do a budget in order to live within her means and get a second job if necessary. There are plenty of college students who work and pay their own way. My daughter has never had life hard, and I think I have given her a false sense of how life really is. I make a 6 figure income and I live alone and have the means to provide a nice lifestyle for an only child. She knows this and has no appreciation for what I have done for her. I am feeling really bad right now because I know now that she is going to have to struggle, but after the way she treated me yesterday, I know now that it's time for tough love. Is it okay to let her go and be on her own? I don't want to be a bad mother, but I'm so tired. Thanks