My 22 year old clinically depressed daughter just moved home . . .

Jen - posted on 11/12/2008

I have struggled with clinical depression off and on since I was 5 years old.

Finding the right medication is crucial since this is a chemical process in the brain - but therapy is a must too! She needs to work woth someone that can get her to open up and learn new methods to cope with pain and stress.

Once she is doing better medication alone should be enough; but she needs help coping right now in a way that you can not provide.

Love her. She needs understanding from you, but do not enable her to sink so low that she does nothing for herself.

Linda - posted on 11/11/2008

Hi, counseling is the way to go. I don't prefer medication. There is a "root" or a "seed event" usually that has to be unearthed. I have seen people free from depression, but it is usually through christian counseling. Secular professionals are great, but only God can point out the root cause. It is more than just moving into aulthood usually. Ask around if you don't have a church or pastor. I work for a christian counseling service and we have our ad in the yellow pages. Maybe look there too. In the mean time, speak to her positively, point out her accomplishments, encourage her and let her know that no matter what you love her. But bounderies need to be placed and deadlines for getting some help. Because you care, it may be hard to do, but in the long run it is for her well being. You are a good mom!

Ginger - posted on 11/10/2008

Along with the Cymbalta, your daughter would most likely benefit from a good counselor. In most cases, the combination of the two will give the most benefit. You might consider some counseling together as well as private sessions for yourself to help you deal with everything that goes along with depression...including possible food addictions. Food will often make you feel good for a short time, especially sugar and carbs, but then you crash and feel even worse. Good luck and take care

Brenda - posted on 11/09/2008

My daughter is a college Freshman. She has been battling several 'demons' (including Teen Depression) since about grade 7. She tried many medications before finding what worked best for her. Although everyone is different, she credits Cymbalta with saving her life. She takes a 'cocktail', however. It took several years and many doctors (we move a LOT with my husband's job) to figure out the right combination. She takes 90MG of Cymbalta/day. She also takes 25 MG Seroquel at night for sleeping. She also takes Keppra for tics and Provigil to help stabilize her further. Of course, none of this would work without the right doctors. She sees a neurologist for the tics and sleep disorder (called REM Intrusion - she also has fibromyalgia), a psychologist for the 'psych meds', and a counselor to talk things through. I have benefited from counseling as well. One thing I found out through this journey is how terribly alone parents feel. They look at my daughter who seems to 'have it all' and have no idea what she deals with daily. I felt like I had no one to talk to, either, because no one really understood unless they were going through it as well. It seems like people would want to 'blame' us as parents or find fault with what we did raising her as a way to somehow safeguard their own children from it happening to them (for instance, comments like 'Oh, it's because of this or that' or 'I never let MY children do that. That must be why she's that way.' or 'Oh, she just wants attention'). As I began to open up about it (only with my daughter's permission), I was surprised to find out how many people are dealing with the same issues! It's a very fine line to walk EACH DAY with how much do you push vs how much do you back off. That's when the counselor can help as well. That line gets VERY blurry - A LOT! But there are EXCELLENT treatments available. Be her 'safe place to land'. Keep the communication open. If her relationship with her fiance is a problem, you will really need for her to trust your judgment (and the counselor's) when it's time to address that issue. Keep the faith!

Denie - posted on 11/09/2008

I was suffering from depression myself and went to bed for two years. I had the luxury of doing so, until my husband insisted I get on medication and that he was no longer going to pay my bills. I needed to get up and get a job or something to pay my own credit cards. That made me mad enough and scared enough to seek help and I got a job and now I have a purpose each and every day. Depression I feel is when I lose all hope and I am so self absorbed that I can't see past myself. Thank God and the tough love of my husband, that I have a very fullfilling life today. I would sugget you get help setting some pretty strict boundaries about you moving back home. Anti-depressants and an end date of the move back home. Bless you and pray, pray, pray.

Linda - posted on 11/07/2008

i was dealing with depression myself and went through many ups and downs, counseling definately helped me. just b there 4 her and support her.

Sara - posted on 11/06/2008

The most important thing you can do is support. It might help to get some counseling- these are trained persons they can give both of you good direction. She needs to draw her strength to a level of comfort and ability to move on. clinical depression will not go away but she can learn how to help herself. Watch out not to let her lean to much this again is where a counserol can help-they teach and help her and you to learn how "she" can stand on her own. Take care.