My daugter wants the college experience but too costly

Karen - posted on 08/08/2012

I was in a sorority and also had student loans. Frankly, having loans to pay back was a good thing for me for 2 reasons - the first one was that it helped me establish a credit rating at a young age. As my parents were also on the hook for them, believe you me, those were the 1st bills that got paid each month. If I had had to take out a 2nd or 3rd job I would have done so becasue I not only respect my Parents but didn't want to suffer through holidays and family gatherings knowing that I had hurt their credit. So, as long as she understands nonpayments impact on you, too, I think that she'll be fine. It took me 10 years but i had a huge sense of satisfaction when it was paid off. Frankly, most people don't think twice taking out a loan for a $20-30,000 car which lasts only a few years, why is it such a huge deal to have debt for an education which will last your whole life? The sorority thing...she's going to party and do dumb things no matter where she is living. Sororities are good and bad depending on the people involved and the focus of the group, they aren't inherently bad or good. I found it to be a great thing to live with a bunch of people who knew what I was going through and were having the same experiences. To ths day they are some of my closest friends (bridesmaids, godmother/guardian to my kid,, roommate after college, etc.). Yes, you can have clsoe friends but there's something special about late night study sessions, raiding the frat houses, pledging, eating stovetop popcorn until the wee hours, solving the world's problems when you are young and idealistic (and cana actually stay up that late!), all nighters, looking like heck during finals week, that can't be replicated in another setting. I'm in favor of letting her have the experience but sharing with her the $$ concerns. She might surprise you and have some ideas of her own as to how to ease the situation (maybe she doesn't have a cell phone or a car to cut down on expenses, not ask to pay for a spring break trip, babysit in town for extra $$, work on campus, tutor, etc.)

Kristen - posted on 08/03/2012

I say if she wants to be in college make her responsible for her own student loans. My son goes to college and I have to pay very little. As far as the partying scene, she's young and more than likely going to experience it at some point in her college life, its normal. My son didn't drink at all, but he is 22 years old now, supporting himself and really I have no say in the matter. Good luck, I think once she has tasted the college life, she will get the unimportant stuff out of the way and focus on her studies.

Chris - posted on 07/27/2012

It's hard to know which issue to respond to. Is she getting good grades? If not, then it's a VERY expensive party to pay for...for many years to come. You are not making too big a deal about the debt. Many people pay off student loans for decades after graduation. Go with your mom gut and sit down with her and dad and find out if you really think she is taking risks at school. If you are still wondering...then stop in unannounced to her sorority on a Saturday night --bring cookies-- and see what's going on. You are responsible for that debt if she doesn't pay it and you need to know what you are paying for. And, there is no reason dad shouldn't be ponying up for tuition as well. If no one works with you and you think it's a terrible waste of money, then make it clear you will not be co-signing any more loans. No one should EVER be living off of a loan. Also, read what Dave Ramsey has to say on the subject.

Sharon - posted on 07/22/2012

I have three kids in college, One just graduated from Loyola Chicago and has almost $80.000 in school loans, my son is going to a state school and my youngest will be starting community college in the fall. My concern for you is the school loans. Sit down and talk with her about that and ask her if the college experience will be worth it in the end. Try to get her to understand that those loans have to be paid no matter what and a lot of times these young people don't realize that you don't start out making a whole lot of money or have trouble finding a job after graduation. I would rather my kids owe as little money as possible so they can start out with less stress. My older daughter does have a big debt but she is also in the nursing profession that pays well and she will not have trouble getting a job. That sometimes is not the case with a lot of kids and I know of some who do forgo the "college experience," to be able to graduate owing very little. It is hard, I know, these young kids cannot see past their noses sometimes but hopefully you can get her to understand that "majoring in debt." is not the college degree you want. Once she starts life after college, she will be able to afford so many more enriching experiences. Good Luck!