Second son leaving and I am so sad. How have you coped?

Vivian - posted on 08/16/2009

My younger son is leaving next week and I am a mess and he hasn't even left yet! I know he will be okay and I am so excited for him but on the other hand so sad that he won't be around anymore. I was in the grocery store and realized that I won't be buying his favorite foods anymore, started to tear up but got a hold of myself. I am also going to miss all his friends hanging out at the house, they were like my surrogate sons. I know it will get easier but for now it is really difficult.

Mary - posted on 08/10/2009

very normal, my house is now empty but i find lots of things to do and keep busy, its great when they come and visit but you do get used to your own space and look forward to them going away again! i often have a wee cry when they go but there growing up and often need lots of support. it took me some time to not feel sad, but you will be happy for them in time.

Angela - posted on 08/08/2009

The worst time I had was with my second son going into the Navy. Mostly because I was terrified of course of him being in the military and getting killed overseas. Plus with bootcamp and not being able to talk to him, etc... it was bad. I cried for two weeks solid. It was bad. At least when my first son went to college out of town we could talk on the phone. I have three out of the house now and #2 is back local (out of the Navy) and #3 is also local so its not so bad. My kids are very close to each other. They are each other's closest friends and finding the distance is harder for them than say for being from Mom and Dad (their Dad lives 30 miles away from here). So they are discussing how they don't want to wind up too far from each other. I have two left at home, who will probably end up going far for college as well. But where they all wind up living after college will remain to be seen.

For me, I look at my empty nest as an opportunity for me to travel around to visit them all. It will give me an excuse to get away more often. But I have a bit of road warrior in my blood. I've teased them for years that I'm going to get a motorhome and just come see each of them until they kick me out and I'll move onto the next one. The benefit of having five is that there will be a good space before I end up back again to bother them. LOL.

Toni - posted on 08/06/2009

my oldest son will be going to college too and i am sad too but all i can hope for is that he makes the right choices while there. As we come closer to the start of college i find myself crying more.

Ronschall - posted on 08/01/2009

I can relate, both my children are out of the house now and in college. My 2nd child (son) just moved on campus 2 weeks ago getting ready for the school year. It's hard however my husband and I have decided to get to know one another all over again. We are still young so now it's our turn to spend quality time with each other which is something we never had a chance to do.

Janine - posted on 07/23/2009

Your emotions are totally normal, I have two sons and the oldest one left home, for University four years ago, took a long time for the rest of of us to adjust, we missed him terribly and looked forward to his homecoming. Last year my youngest spread his wings and left for University too, I was as deeply effected as with the first time round. My need to be at home was taken away with his leaving and I launched myself back into teaching, I have had a really busy year, love it when the boys come home but have to now perform a juggling act to fit them in and spend as much time with them during their stay. My husband has been terrific we have taken a few trips already this year we are enjoying our new found freedom too. be Sad but also realise that they are getting on with their lives , you need to do the same and enjoy who you are.

Joyce - posted on 07/21/2009

How will you ever know that he is capable of making it on his own if you don't encourage him to get out there and do it. The best way to give him the confidence he needs is to let him see your confidence that you have instilled in him all the right values.

Donna - posted on 07/19/2009

Hi Kitty, I am not sure if it is "normal"! My second son and last child has been living with his dad for a year and it was still hard for me. When my first son graduated and went to college, it was exciting! Kyle will start in August and I am anxious to see how his journey unfolds!

Martha - posted on 07/18/2009

I agree with all the comments. It is sad when your kids leave. Although we want them to have successful, happy lives a part of us leaves with each of them. Knowing that things will never be the same again is hard to deal with because in a way it is a loss in our lives.

Karen - posted on 07/17/2009

I agree with everyone that have commented on this post. I have four sons as well. My oldest will be a junior in college this year and #2 will be an entering freshman. On the outside, I am trying to go on like I am a pro, but on the inside, I am saddened to know another child is leaving the nest and things won't be the same again. Yes, they come home, but it's more like visiting and then they are gone again. I don't think that this will ever get easier, because they are all our kids and each time it brings on a change in our family routine or daily makeup. I have five years before #3 leaves and two more years after that for the baby to leave. Time (the right now) is so important with our kids.

Mary Alice - posted on 07/17/2009

I also have four kids. It was much harder than I thought it would be when my oldest left for college. Now she will be a junior and her brothers both leave next month for college. I thought somehow it would be easier--I mean I've been through it all before, I should be a pro, right? It still hurts. I love them so much and I can't really imagine going from 3 at home to only 1. (The boys are twins.) I look at my sons and know that things will not be the same again. But I also know I am powerless to stop time. I want them to go to college. I want them to become successful. I try to focus on the good things. You are normal as far as I am concerned.

Mona - posted on 07/17/2009

We have some in common - I share the same saddness and I also have the summers off (support staff). I have not found any sympathy from friends or family. They all just want me to get over it. My boys will someday leave home - that's what they're supposed to do. I am sad - what's wrong with that?
You've spent 18 plus years teaching, caring, supporting your children. It's ok to feel sad when they leave.
I'm proud of the young men my boys have become. I will be 100% supportive when my birds leave the nest. I'm sad too - and that's ok.
I've been trying to find myself. I have a list of hobbies and things I want to/need to do. A busy mind, is a happy mind. *smiles*
http://moremilestones.blogspot.com

Liz - posted on 07/16/2009

absolutely!! My 2nd son is leaving for the airforce this year....tear up just thinking about it :(