Single mother and my oldest just left for college and I am not coping very well...

Valerie - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a single mother of my son, who just left for college, and I also have a daughter who is 12. I am sooo proud of my son and the man he has become, but I am soooo sad and depressed since dropping him off on Friday that I am literally physically sick. I had him when I was 19 and things have not been easy raising them as a single parent, but him and I grew up together, and we are extremely close - I am close with both of my children. We have always struggled financially, BUT, I have given them the best I can, and I just can't believe how fast the time has went. He was my "rock" so to speak, and I don't know how to handle these feelings... I just feel empty inside and as though my heart has been ripped out. I feel a lump in my throat everytime I walk in the house and he isn't here to make me laugh, or act silly with his dancing or singing, and now it's Sunday and we always all sat down for a Sunday dinner... I know it will get easier with time, but I need help now on how to cope... I tried to keep busy today, and finished up school shopping with my daughter, but I am really depressed tonight. And, then to boot, his roommate is a partier, and he comes and goes at all hours of the night and my son hasn't got any sleep, so I am worried about that too! My son isn't a partier, and is there for his education - now he has a screw-off roommate, and I am sick to my stomach thinking he isn't getting sleep, and he starts classes tomorrow early in the AM. Has anyone felt this emptiness and sadness? I am counting down till he comes home on Labor Day weekend, and actually driving up with his sister and my parents this weekend to have dinner with him. I know he will be home quite a bit, as his girlfriend is here in the town we live in too, but it's just not the same as my life has been for the last 18 years... Please pray for me and him...

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Lori - posted on 04/24/2012

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I know what you are going through. I had 3 kids leave for college in 4 years. Tough. I coped by creating greeting cards for them. It really helped. Sending some love and encourgement from home went along way to help with the emotions for all of us. Their friends even wanted me to send them some cards! I now feel passionate about encouraging Moms of College kids! We need encouragement too! If you want to see how the cards turned out...I have put them on a web site! All the best, Lori

http://myseedsoffaith.com/

Sherrill - posted on 08/22/2010

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Hang in there Valerie! I have three and the youngest is a sophomore at the University of Alaska in Anchorage (2600 miles away). The best advice I ever rec'd was to look upon their leaving the nest as a big pat on YOUR back that you had done your job at raising them. Now it's time for them to stretch their wings and become the adults they were meant to be! Be strong and remember that this gives you more time to have that same strong bond with your daughter!

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