Son having trouble at University with priorities

Lynn - posted on 03/14/2009

AT LEAST HE HASENT GRADUATED YET!!!

Mahtalat - posted on 03/14/2009

HI  don't worry my son is in WPI he was also at the top ,he says there r many students better than me the compitition is more studies r more difficult n time consuming,you should call him often n guide him to make friends with bright  students of his age this plus his full attention should be when the professor is giving lectures ,he can record the lectures n listen ,talking in a very very friendly way will help.Hope this helps

Anne - posted on 03/13/2009

I know from experience that it is so hard when you see your child heading for a train wreck. Our oldest is very smart and talented.. But in High School she decided that her only purpose for being there was to socialize. She has always been very good at this. She came VERY close to not graduating on time.  At parent teacher conferences we heard she was very like able but very much capable of doing a and b work instead of c and d work. Because of this we told her when she started college at the local community college that we would pay her tuition and she would need to pay for her books.if she maintained a b or better and that a b- was not a b. Now if she had gotten a b-  and  had worked very hard at trying to do better we would have had to figure something else to help her,like paying for her books and her paying for her tuition. However she had a semester where she thought she needed to close the bars  on school nights and then she was too tired to get up to go to early classes. (9:00 a.m.). She did get a b- and we held firm. She ended up taking a year off school and getting a job in an accounting office. She hated it and continued the bar thing. Then she move out and moved in with her boyfriend. This was not how we had raised her, she went 6 weeks with not calling or coming over. It was awful. However 3 years later our relationship has been restored, and she is graduation with a degree in culinary arts from a great school in NC. She has paid for most of it her self with loans and financial  aide. I said all of that to say this--- If you have tried every thing you can try, and he still does not start studying enough and refuses to get help have  you tried letting him know that you will not help him financially. Make sure of 2 things, What ever boundaries you set be ready to uphold them and most important of all let him know your love for him will never change,and you are willing to help if he asks for help. I agree in part with what the university is saying however this is not just a case of him calling and telling you he hates it there and wants to come home. Both of our daughters at some time wished they had not gone so far away to school. The youngest went  is going to a small Christian college in San Diego and we live in MI. If you are a mom that Prays for your children find someone that will be your Prayer Partner in this. I hope any of this helps. This is not an easy thing to go through but until he wants help just listen.

Adele - posted on 03/12/2009

There's not much you can do if he's living at school. The only thing I can come up with would be an awesome reward for him, if there's something you know he would love to do (maybe a trip) you can try offering that as a reward. If he meets whatever goals you set for him. I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel, especially because he excelled in high school.