Katherine - posted on 06/13/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
In the fall of 2008, we sent our sweet, attractive, daughter (who was a straight-A student in high school) off to college. We were so proud of her. A year and a half later, she dropped out of college after failing a few classes. Then came the real bombshell. She told us she was transgender. She took testosterone injections for awhile, and now her voice is much deeper. She says she is neither male nor female but somewhere in the middle. People have trouble determining if she is male or female from her appearance. We have tried to accept this change, although it has been difficult. She is now attending community college and once again making straight-A’s, but she seems to have no sense of direction or motivation to become self-sufficient. I have been trying to get her to get a part-time job, but she goes on the computer until the wee hours of the morning and then sleeps sometimes until 4 p.m.! I don’t know what I can do to force her to get a job; encouraging and pushing her hasn’t helped. I can’t throw her out of the house because she has nowhere to go, and I do want her to continue her education. I know it will be hard for her to get a job because her appearance confuses people, but I want her to try. I also struggle with a lot of guilt because I can’t imagine how we got where we are now. I put everything I had into raising her (and her sister, who is doing well), and we provided her with every advantage, including a stay-at-home mother, a stable marriage and home life, a comfortable home, help with homework, etc., etc. I know this is a lot to take in, but I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. Thanks.