Suffering... How do I get over feeling the blues? My son has been gone for a month and I went to see him and it only made me hurt again. I miss him so much, my whole home is different its sad. My other son is just staying away from home and I cant blame him we are all sad. Everyone says to do stuff I like to make me happy but I cant think of anything to make me happy. It sucks. How long will I suffer? How long will my house feel broken?

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Linda - posted on 10/16/2012

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Hi, when you say gone, do you mean he is at college? I can relate to what you are saying. My son went to college out of state and just graduated this past May. It was very hard when he first left his freshman year. I called him a lot, he didn't call back right away. I realized after a while that he would call when he wanted to talk, and he did. He would talk a long time. I also realized that my world couldn't revolve around him. And, yeah I know easier said than done. I had a daughter at home, and he was still getting all the attention and he wasn't even there.



So, you do need to do things for yourself, and YES it does get easier with time! You are the only one that can make your house feel "unbroken". If your son is at college, he WILL be home again. If he has moved out, you still have to move on. It's too much pressure on your son to revolve your life around him. Trust me, I know exactly what I'm talking about.



If you want to talk and/or want any more advice, I am here.

Linda

Sharon - posted on 09/20/2012

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I know exactly what you are feeling. My son is spending his last two years in Hawaii, (we are in Chicago) and on top of that we lost one of dogs and so the house is completely turned upside down. The last week I thought this is too much, but today I realize that we have strong minds and wills if we let ourselves be healed. After I dealt with the grief, I would do my very best to push those negative thoughts behind me, just mulling over them made me miserable, but for no purpose. I tried to see the future and what it had to offer. You will have waves of sadness and feeling like your are lost but every time you come back to the present you will a little bit stronger.

It takes an effort but like Ramona said think and get involved with other things and look forward to new memories. Robin Roberts said, "Have to change the way you think to change the way you feel." You can get through this, it is hard, but put your mind to work and start making plans for the future, and if you have breakthrough pain, that is OK. Ride it out and you will feel better! Hugs to you!

Ramona - posted on 09/20/2012

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My oldest left for school too. But, rejoice that you did such a great job, he is able to get into college and is living on his own, great job mom!! Don't let your blues get to your youngest, he may not look at going to school in fear of hurting you, and that is not right. Just keep busy, joing a book club, volunteer someplace, learn to play guitar or knit, enjoy!!

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