Surviving the College Years.

Debi - posted on 01/27/2009

I there, I have a 24 yr old college grad, now working his first job in another state. That was hard helping him move. He went to college in town, so even though he wanted to live on campus we still saw him quite a bit. I do believe that he will be coming home as soon as he can find another job here.

We also have a daughter, in her second year of college, also here in town, living on campus. She says that she wants to go to NY when she graduates I just hope, selfishly, that after her brothers experience she will decide to find a job here. lol

Our son wasn't here for the first time this Christmas and that was also very hard. Think I should have been Amish lol, then they would stay at home. My daughter had a hard time the end of HS beginning of college, but has turned that around. I just really enjoy my kids for the adults that they have become now. It's great that move from parenting to friendship.

Sharon - posted on 01/27/2009

Quoting Denise:

Hi Sharon,

I will keep you in my prayers. Just think of this as an adventure. It's like you've planned this awesome vacation to Paris & planned it for a year....you're all pumped and ready to go. You get on the plane and 12 hrs. or so later the pilot lands and the stewardess says "Welcome to China".  It's not what you had planned on for a year or even hoped for.....but you're stuck in China.......so why not think of it as an adventure and make the best of it.   I'm here if you need to talk.  My biological dad died when I was young. My (stepdad) the only dad I have ever known and loved always told me "the only "steps" in this house are the ones leading up to the porch and DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT."  I NEVER HAVE.  So start your amazing journey and keep me posted.  your friend, Denise

 

Thanks Denise.  You know, I really needed to hear that.  I thank you.  I was thinking the other day that I was taking the wrong approach and if I keep it up, I will crash and burn.  So, as usual I decided to pull the boot straps up and say "This is what it is, and it happened for a reason, just deal with it"

Things have been so much better since, and YES it is an amazing journey. Thanks for your support.  Your new friend and hope I can be their as you were for me,

Sharon

Denise - posted on 01/26/2009

Hi Sharon,

I will keep you in my prayers. Just think of this as an adventure. It's like you've planned this awesome vacation to Paris & planned it for a year....you're all pumped and ready to go. You get on the plane and 12 hrs. or so later the pilot lands and the stewardess says "Welcome to China".  It's not what you had planned on for a year or even hoped for.....but you're stuck in China.......so why not think of it as an adventure and make the best of it.   I'm here if you need to talk.  My biological dad died when I was young. My (stepdad) the only dad I have ever known and loved always told me "the only "steps" in this house are the ones leading up to the porch and DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT."  I NEVER HAVE.  So start your amazing journey and keep me posted.  your friend, Denise

Denise - posted on 01/26/2009

Hi Mary & Rita,

Well....here I go again....adjusting to more empty nest.  My 22 yr. old got her first place & moved out. It about killed me. I secretly cried for a week. the good thing is she graduated from college without us having to use her college fund that we had for her all her life. We are now using it to help her in her first place. We have made her very independent and she has worked to pay for almost everything she has now. She is learning it is expensive to be on her own. :)  I am glad we had college funds for the other two girls too because that's  what we are using to get them through.  I loved Christmas because they were all here. The quietness is deafening and just too much. so it's great when they are home & sad when they leave on Sundays!  Must close for now and give the computer back to my hubby.

take care and God bless all,

Denise

Denise - posted on 01/26/2009

Hi Jenni,  Don't worry...you will drive yourself CRAZY with the details like I nearly did.  My husband was gone all summer with the Army Reserves last summer. I had to get the 20 year old ready to move 2 1/2 hrs. away to an apartment. (she didn't have any household stuff when we started) .   Then I had to get the 18 yr. old ready to move to a dorm ( she didn't have anything either).  We started making our list in May and buying our stuff in June. Bed Bath & Beyond had a really great  list for college students. The hardest part was getting everything into 2 small cars.  Next time I will rent a Uhaul.  CHECK on the mattress sizes for sheets. Get emails from JC Penny to get really good deals on really nice towels.  Check on the schools policies about dorm life and what they can and can't have.  I'll try to write more later. Hope I can get my computer back soon.

take care,

Denise

Denise - posted on 01/26/2009

hello...sorry I haven't been on much lately...computer crashed and is still in the shop...borrowing my husband's for a few minutes.

Yes....all of my girls went into 4 year colleges.  We started saving for college when they were born. The girls all got scholarships because of their grades. The youngest one was valedictorian of her Sr. class.....even with this scholarship it's still expensive.  Our part still costs one thousand a month.  The middle daughter costs us about six hundred a month. The girls also work part time to help out. We bought their cars and we pay their car insurance too.  Go on the internet & search for scholarships......there are thousands of them out there.  Check your local community too. There are always some with:   Walmart, Lions Club, Garden Clubs, Rotary clubs, other organizations.  Also talk to your school counselor. They have alot of scholarship info :& forms.  Double check the deadlines though.

Hope this helps some.  Also try to buy used books at the bookstore Or try buying them online. I will get the websites for you soon.  They are about half the price of the bookstore.

I wouldn't transfer them to a bigger college or univ. until they have completed at least one maybe 2 yrs. at the comm. college.   Basics are just basics.....and will usually transfer anywhere.....check on them and make sure though.

Hope to be up and running again soon.  thank-you to all who wrote to me.

denise

Mischelle - posted on 01/26/2009

Wow Sharon. Just when I was pissing and moaning about being an emplty nester without anything to do! I will stop now. My hats off to you. I wish you luck and hope things work out.

Rita - posted on 01/25/2009

Hi Denise, another first timer. 2 daughters that left for college at the end of Summer,1 in Portland and the other at Pocatello, ID, both Freshman. The house is very quiet and I need to get a life. 1 got a full ride scholarship and the other ended up with most of hers covered with grants.They both did all the work themselves without any help from us, financially or otherwise. Although I miss them, i am proud that we raised independent young adults. Hang in there - Rita

Mary - posted on 01/17/2009

Hi Denise:  First timer here.  I have three daughter.  At one point two of them were in college at the same time and got pretty use to having my 13 year old by ourself.  Now that my oldest graduated she is back home.  Not so bad because she works and is going for her masters.  We are very proud of her hard work.  My second daughter is in her second year and dorms.  Our third is a soph in high school.  It all works out eventually and when the holidays come and there all home, well let's just say can't wait to breaks over....only kidding but it is an adjustment when your used to not having anyone around...or just one around...Enjoy, Mary

Sharon - posted on 01/10/2009

Hi everybody,

I really know that I am not up for the empty nest challenge. My scenario is that my daughter is already a sophmore in an out of state college. I'm used to her coming home every few weeks for the breaks. My son is a h.s. senior and just as I was getting used to the fact (pretending to I guess) that I won't have any of my children home, and was hoping to call this my "Butterfly Years" and really work on me. My husband received custody of his two boys. The are ages 12 and 15. They've been here since June and it hasn't been easy. High maintenance with lots of issues due to their biological mom. So, I've really had a twist of unfair fate. I don't know how I'm going to get thru this.

Christine - posted on 01/04/2009

Hi! I'm also new to this group. I have a 21 year old son who is a junior with senior status in a 4-year school, and another son who is a sophomore at another 4 year university in a different state. I'm still adjusting to being an empty -nester! (And adjusting to being broke!) Who knew that college would be such a challenge for the parents too!

Jenni - posted on 01/03/2009

Hi Denise! I have a 20 year old in college, and my 18 year old is a Senior in high school. I also have a 15 year old who is a Freshman in high school. My oldest went to a school that was 4 1/2 hours away last year, but transferred to school that is only 2 hours away from home. My 18 year old plans on going to a school that is more than 7 1/2 hours away next fall. I am nervous about how next year is going to go. Handling all the traveling details, etc. Thanks so much for introducing yourself!

Jenni

Leslieseitz - posted on 01/02/2009

ok, I have one daughter that just finished her first yr at community college and lives at home and a sr in high school that is looking to be on campas. Did all your kids go directly into 4 yr colleges? How do you afford them all? Community college is fine, and I am wondering when I should start looking to transfer?

Martha - posted on 12/20/2008

Wow, Denise! My hat's off to you! I have three kids, as well, but they are spaced out in age, such that I never had two in college at the same time. My youngest is in her junior year, and the two older boys are in the business world. What is your graduate doing? Also, will they all be home for Xmas?
Martha