Lori - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )
I have friends that have children that have SOMETHING wrong, that know one knows what the issue is. Then there are the friends that have average children. But you still look at these children and go WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT???
I know that I have good days and not so good days with my kids. At times it feels like you just need people that have been there. I don't need anyone to "fix" it, just understand.
So here is my family...
I am Lori= 31 year old stay at home mom/daycare mom and I admit it I have Adult ADD! Go figure!
Corey= is my husband of 8 years who works all day pretty much every day
Alex= 13 year old son ADD. I had Alex while I was in high school so we have grown up together. (He may start winning) I am friends with Alex's dad, and Alex sees him at least 3 days a week. Everything with Alex's dad was wonderful. Then he got married. I will go into that one further if anyone else needs to vent in that area.
Jaiden= 10 year old daughter ADHD and ODD. I married Jaiden's dad when I was 20 and he was 19. The day we brought Jaiden home from the hospital there was paperwork on the table that he needed to go get a paternaty test. He was not even aware that there was a POSSILE child. So yes, he has a daughter that is 6 months older then Jaiden. So another child plus the financial burden of paying child support... took its toll on our realtionship. He is also remarried. They have a child together, and though I know they love Jaiden, have really pushed Jaiden to the side. It could be worse, considering that Jaiden and I are the only ones to have anything to do with his oldest daughter. She has had a dad since she was two, and he is awesome so whatever. *** Jaiden was getting kicked out of daycares by the age of two. She was a bully and wouldn't listen. At one year old she would walk over to Alex, hit him, then go sit in time out. At 2 1/2 she had the verbal skills of a 7 year old. We started medicating her at the age of 3. And the teachers call if she doesnt take it. She was so smart, then she lost it all. She isnt grasping her knowledge. The last month of school they FINALLY Agreed she needs to be in Special Ed. She is going into 5th grade. I have been asking since kindergarten! Jaiden has a hard time with friends. She likes to HELP everyone and at this age kids want to do things for themselves.
Camille= 8 year old daughter RAD and ADHD. Camille has been in our home since she was 10 months old. She is Corey's daughter with another woman. Camille wasnt taken care of as a baby so she has this fight till the end additude, survival of the fittest. Camilles mom felt that she already had a mom, and she didnt need another one, so she would not let even Corey see Camille. Camille was born four weeks early, with cocaine and pot in her system. I snuck up and saw her through a window. She had to be wrapped and pinned down, when they unpinned her to change her she would shake and scream. (Of course lets not take the baby away... They ENCOURAGED her to breastfeed!) Well with a few phone calls suggesting courts that changed. I knew she was off the first time I met her. She ate like she was never fed in her life. But she wasnt skinny. It was like she was panicking. Then her real mom went to jail and treatment and a halfway house and did it all over again. Needless to say, we have full custody. Camille calls me mom, and her biological mom by her first name. She lacks common sense and book smarts, until something clicks then she is consumed with it. She is at a reading level 183, she is going into 3rd grade. For her grade, they would like them to be at a level 30. But she can't retain math facts or even tell you WHAT she read. But its a step. She has slowed down on many disturbing behaivors but they come back. Ripped her own hair out when angry. She kicked out a car window at the age of 3. She broke two windows in our house. She would bang her head and bite herself and others. But when she wasnt upset... she seemed fine. Now she lies, steals and starts fires. She started the love seat on fire last summer. She tried to start the tree house on fire in May and she was starting fires in her bedroom a couple weeks ago. She broke into a car and stold the lighter!
Taylor= 7 years old. 3 months younger then Camille. He spent his first 4 years not being able to really hear what was going on. He had surgery and is doing great. He has some small attention issues, but as long as he can color or draw while he is listening he does good. He is a natural athlete. But can get pretty emotional at times.
Quinci= 6 years old RAD and ADHD and family history of BiPolar. Quinci has been with our family for a year now. He is biologically my nephew. He was born to a drug addict and was taken away from her when he was found left alone home in his crib in the middle of the summer with out air conditioning and the windows closed. He lived in foster care until they found his real father (My husbands brother). He went to live with his real dad for about two and a half years. He was not treated nicely. His real dad resented him and he didnt care for his dad as well. I did daycare for him for two years. About a year ago I called his dad and asked him if he was going to come pick Quinci up considering he was done with work for 6 hours and it was getting late. I was told... "I was thinking maybe he could just move in with you guys". So he has never left. We are in the proceedings of adopting him and he calls us mom and dad. Three days ago I recieved a letter in the mail from the state asking if I would take in another child (Quinci's biological mom's newborn). She has relapsed. She tried about 6 months ago to get him from us saying that she was doing great and she wouldnt agree to let him live with us... Then she never showed up to pick up any paperwork and we have not heard from her since. Quinici has many of the same issues as Camille. He suffers from the same disorders and has tried to start fires. He steals and lies and is physical with other children.
Donavin= 5 years old. It won't surprise me if he ends up with some form of Attention Disorder, but so far nothing is too over bearing. Very smart little boy. He uses large words (Correctly) and physically is advanced for his age as well. His preschool teachers say he is the best. Then he comes home and uses his naughty words and breakdances.
So needless to say we have a very interesting home life. We have bells and alarms on doors and have to lock the cupboards. But there is also alot of laughs. Hardest part for me is that I did everything PERFECTLY while I was pregnant, and always loved my children and tended to their every need. So it is frustrating that some still have issues.