Thoughts!

Breanna - posted on 01/28/2010

omg! ur post has really helped me! I thought I was the only person that felt that way and i hated myself for it for a long tme! it makes me feel good to c that im not the only one that felt that way! i mean dont get me wrong i love my daughter! but wen she was 1st born i had no idea that she had ds. wat happend was my hole pregnancy i knew something was wrong it wasnt like my first pregnancy it was way different.i was way smaller than my 1st. i mean really small wen i was 7months preg i looked like mayb 3 or 4 months. they gave me an ultra sound cuz how small i was (she was) & they told me and her dad that we needed to go to the drs office she would talk to us about wat was going on! we instantly were scared like wat is going on! and the dr came in & the 1st thing she said was well guys i got good and bad news. so we were like omg jus tell us u kno. she said well bad news is something is wrong with the baby her head and stomach has gotten smaller sense the last ultra sound and the good news is that we were going to have her that day. she said it wasnt safe to let her stay in she wasnt growing n e more and she needed to come out. so we went to the hospital and we had all kinds of problems the hospital didnt want to except us cuz of my insurance and the prob was that this hospital was the only facility that could care for a baby that has complications. we were really freaked out and scared. i have never been so scared in my life! finally everything got woked out after i almost had a nervis break down. we had nothing for the baby we were not expecting her for almost 2 more months and we just moved into a new house. we moved from indiana to nevada to b with my parents. so i was already under alot of different emotions.

we ended up in the c section room with specialist all around us which really freaked me out. wen they pulled ciara out i didnt hear her crying and i started crying askin if she was ok cuz i seen her wen they brought her to the table and she was purple and her body wasnt curled up like a baby in the fetal position. i knew something was really really wrong. i finally started to hear her cry and i felt so much better but i was still askin is she ok is there anythign wrong u kno everything u can think of i was asking! then a man poked his head around the curtain and said do u guys kno wat trisomy 21 is and i said no and he said do u kno wat down syndrom is and i lost it! they had to wait to fix my c section for like 10-15min cuz i was crying so hard! and i felt like i dont want this baby for the first second and then i knew i had to b there for her. they wouldnt let me c her for like 12 hrs and i was freakin out bad i had no idea about ds all i knew about it was wat the media showed. i new a girl in high school that had it and it scared me bad cuz the kids were cruel to her. i actually met her because i seen some kid push her down and like 3 other kids jus walk on her going to the buses and i was so upset i ran to her and helped her up and walked her to her bus and i did that the rest of the school yr. so i was thinkin omg how is everyone going to treat her is she going to be ok there was jus so many feeling.

everything couldnt b better now! i love her so much & shes doin perfict

Mary Kay - posted on 01/09/2010

I was a C-section Mom. Gabe was my third child and I had told my OB all during the pregnancy something was different. I asked for an Amnio and he said it was too late in my pregnancy (I was 4 months) What would I do, Abort? He questioned. Back then it took two months for results (Gabe is 25). So when Gabe was born he said "See, he's perfectly fine" I turned my head to catch a glimpse just as the nurses were full steam ahead with him in the warmer to the neonatal unit. (At least they could recognize a baby with DS when they saw one!) My ped tried to give my husband and I a heads up in the recovery room. "Well he has this anomaly and that one." We just laughed and related them all back to family characteristics. So he told us that Gabe had a heart murmur and the were bringing in Cardio and he would talk with us more after Gabe was assessed. That night I was trying to nurse Gabe and I kept looking at the line of his jaw and where his ear was in position to the rest of his face. "Naw, they would have told me. . . . " I thought. After Cardiologist gave us a good to go with the heart here came the Ped with the diagnosis. I was alone, my husband had returned to work, I was a C-section mom, sitting up and moving around for the first time and I desperately need to use the rest room. After he got out the diagnosis, I had to ask him to stop so I could urinate. I sat on that toilet and bawled till he sent the nurse in after me.
We have expectations - that are children will not only be typical but brilliant, gorgeous, athletic. When our expectations are radically changed with no warning we are shocked, hurt. angry and just plain scared. It is very normal to have a reaction, a reaction that may interfere with what we have been looking forward to feeling. Sometimes we judge ourselves too harshly for those emotions that we have no control over.
I spent a lot of time looking at Gabe, wondering what life would hold for him and my family. I have fought many battles to get professionals to look at Gabe as Gabe not a child or young adult with DS.
Jenessa is first and foremost Jenessa, a child that will delight and amaze you with her willingness to learn, to love, to embrace her world.
Forgive your self for being a regular Mom who was expecting a typical chid and was suddenly presented with an entirely different package. You've already made the transition to loving your child and wanting to be the best Mom you can be for her.

Natasha - posted on 11/10/2009

I went through the same thing. my experience was horrible. No one let me hold him till he was almost 12 hours old and i didn't even see him until then. When I finally got to looked at my son i knew something wasn't right. I didn't know what was wrong though. No one told me anything till he was 5 days old. and it wasn't even my doctor that told me it was a nurse. She told me because she didn't think it was fair to me to go home not knowing my son had down syndrome. I felt so guilty, i was only 19 and didnt know much about it and thought it was my fault it happened. I completely understand what its like not to have that "love at first sight" feeling. I do love my son thought he amazes me everyday.

Tereasa - posted on 10/26/2009

You know Kalyn my son who is almost 21 came as a surprise and I did not have anyone there at the time that they told me they thought he had DS. It was a shock and it may not be love at first sight but it will be the greatest love of your life guaranteed. (;