During the assessment...

Karen - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok, so we have, after waiting for three years, finally met with the govt/health body that is completing the FASD assessment. To date, we have met the the main party arranging the assessment, pschologist and pediatrician. The pschologist has now arranged for a very needed meeting with the child pshychiatrist because the problems that we have discussed were very evident during the 5-hour meeting with our son. That being said, when we met with the pediatrician on Monday, feeling far more comfortable with the process, that comfort was quickly replaced with shame, unfound guilt and embarrassement while my crediability as a human and integrity as a parent were "stripped" all because of some bruises on his back resulting from him slamming the faucet in the bathtub-the bruises all clustered in a square shape/faucet (need I mention that he is five years old, has a twin brother and no sense of fear=normal to see bruises on this kid)! There were so many accusatory questions thrown at me as if to determine that the problems with our son are a result of bad parenting and not the drugs and alcohol that were consumed by birth mom during the pregnancy or non existent nutrition and dr. involvement or the lack of oxygen during birth as well as through his open-heart surgery when he was only a few days old!! Now I am absolutely panic stricken to attend the psychiatrist appointment and feel just sick about having to see this dr. again at the final meeting when the diagnosis (s) is revealed. Did anyone else have this or a smiliar situation and if so, did you put in a complaint or is it just me feeling so low about this situation and the constant chaos that we have been living with over theh past four years?

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5 Comments

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Clara - posted on 01/31/2011

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Get another doctor!!! No body has the right to make you feel that bad!!! My daughter who is fas never slept,but2/3 hours a night since we picked her up at the hospital,We got her in to the trauma center when she 5 years old,she always had bruises on her head from banging it on the floor, bruises on her legs body from where she would throw herself down,Your doctor sounds unskilled in this area,and yes I have changed doctors they all know me now,and they realize that I have educated my self with fas. Stand strong, You are a wonderful mother,God bless you!!

Karen - posted on 11/05/2010

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Hello, geez, it has been awhile since I was on this site.

Anyways, we had our feedback meeting and as we suspected our son scored very high on all the FASD testing as well, the specialists diagnosed him with ADHD and an attachement disorder. Further, it has been brought forward that he is also cognitively and intellectually challenged and we are to prepare ourselves with a lifetime of challenges that he will face day to day.

On another note, the pediatrician was not invited to the meeting and it was confirmed that I was not the first parent to complain about the mannerism and disgusting approach that she had when addressing our family's approach of discipline and parenting styles.

All in all, it was a great meeting and very reassuring that we are not the only ones to see the problems.

Since the meeting, we are now meeting with the community mental health departments and a support person and behaviourist has been placed with our family. We are all hoping that with intense therapy, our family will be much healthier soon and our little guy will learn some valuable coping skills.

Thanx for the earlier interest and sorry it took so long to come back.

Rachel - posted on 08/08/2010

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karen,
I know we had talked last summer a bit when you were looking to get the diagnosis process done. I am so sorry that you had a bad experience with the PED. I really hope that you are able to get some answers that will help you, your family and your boys. best wishes
rachel

Karen - posted on 06/24/2010

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Hi Sarah,sorry for the delay as it appears that my circle of moms application had been deleted and I didn't get your mess. til last night when it was recieved to my hotmail; I will have to go and figure that one out...anyways, we had our meeting a couple of weeks ago with the pyschiatrist and mental health worker and this week are meeting their speech therapist and in mid July are meeting their occupational therapists (perhaps to confirm what the earlier specialsts had already noted)...and all things considered, I think that this last meeting again confirmed that the issue is within this lil guy's brain and not within our family or choice of parenting style. I did speak to the dr. re: the pediatrician and have requested that she not attend the final outcome meeting rather, have our general practioner (of the past 15 years) be in attendance and if the ped. is there, I will likely put in a formal verbal complaint about her comments and the affect they had on me. Obviously the physchiatrist recognized several of the problems as he is also connecting with the school that we have enrolled the twins into as he wants to ensure that all persons involved with our son in the school district be fully aware of his "special needs" and to make suggestions so his transition to kindergarten will be as easy as possible...fingers crossed that the final meeting to finally hear the diagnosis will be in late July or Aug. and we will finally be able to get some direction of how to parent this child in the way that he needs to be parented. How old is your daughter?

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2010

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I just joined the group. How did the appointment go? Is everything okay?