Strategies that work?

Lorenza - posted on 03/28/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hi, I am the adoptive mother of FAS twins. They were born at 26 weeks and one of that had 2 strokes as a baby. They are now 8 years old and doing wonderfully! My problem is that I have one that has all the developmental delays and physical problems and one that has all the behavioral problems. We are gearing up for our annual IEP meeting with my one. She is ADHD, has Executive Dysfunction and Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I'm sure at some point we will have an anxiety disorder or bipolar diagnosis but not yet. I've finally been able to get the therapists and her resource room teacher to recognize that the issues we have are NOT ADHD related. She is medicated for that and it helps to calm her and focus to a point. It's not a cure all and I think that the schools thinks it should be. I have done ton of research on dealing with the behaviors such as stealing and anger but nothing seems to work. She doesn't understand consequences and doesn't get cause and effect which is typical. I can't not discipline her for taking things but she just doesn't understand. At home I try not to make it a huge issue and we refer to a "feelings chart" now so she can try to recognize different levels of her actions.
At school, I can't seem to get the principals and regular ed teachers to understand what she is capable of and what she isn't. Taking a recess away from her or making her write an apology to a classmate does not work with her, she doesn't get that what she is being made to do is a consequence of what she did 20 mins ago. I want to know if anyone has had any of these issues and found a strategy that has worked? Sticker charts, reward systems, lose of privileges do not work with her.
Thank you all!

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Rachel - posted on 01/04/2010




Alberta learning has free online books that you can either print or order copies of for free. The schools do have access to them as well but may not use them.

here is a link. I used the copy of teaching kids with FAS, becuase it provides specific stragies for specific situations, that are also age appropriate. It is put in a format that teachers will get because it is made for teachers, however, some of it i have implimented at daycare and home as well, becuase consistancy is the best method. All I can suggest is consistancy, what works at home, needs to be implimented at school, at friends houses, at daycare, becuase sometimes transfering from one place to the next is enough for them to loose the message that "oh ya, we cant take someone elses things." well, I hope it helps if not private message me, and i have some other resources that may be helpful
best wishes rachel

Meg - posted on 11/16/2009




I don't know how to help you but finding them a differnt school may be the best for your childern. You have to stand up for their needs because no one else will. I have had many battles over how my sons were to be taught. I am in one again right now. Some times people just don't understand that not every child fits in the box they want them to be in. Hang in there!

Clara - posted on 09/18/2009




My my 8 year old adopted child is the same way ,What I did is call a meeting at the school and I let them know they are not qualified to teach my children, that they either do what the DO. pediatrician says are my children will move schools. You have all the power don't give the schools any!!! you must defend and teach when it comes to your children!!!! If the school doesn't do what your child needs then find a school that will!!! don't settle when it come to your children, You know schools get more money for special need kids??? they don't like parents to know this,your child is raking in big money for that school So go get them tiger !!!

Sherry - posted on 09/03/2009




I wish I could help you. We find things like stickers that work for awhile but then it stops working.. I am not sure there is anything that really works for long.

I am reading some books by Becky A Bailey which are really good.

Easy To Love, Hard to Discipline and I love You Rituals. Both very good and very positive and help with bonding..

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