i spend millions on my daughter than myself, am i okay?

Michaela - posted on 12/19/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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i am so happy when ever i spend money on my daughter, but i get home and see my old jeans and shoes and ask myself are you okay?

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Ashley - posted on 02/21/2010

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I don't have that exact problem. I'm a shopaholic in general though..lol. I mean everytime I buy myself something, I do feel like I just HAVE to buy my 6 month old daughter something as well. But, I just chalk that up to the fact that I just love shopping. I mean seriously, you know that movie "Confessions of a Shopaholic", well that movie just spoke to me on so many levels..LOL..I mean sometimes I really do hear the manquins telling me I need to buy this or that in the display windows...Now that probably signals that I, myself am NOT ok...but as for you...I think you're just FINE.

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

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tell me ?!...... i can't believe some of the prices on these kids items... when my girl was a baby(3 months) i saw this nice top( just top, small baby top!) guess how much it costs at that time?...$50.00#$*@$#* WHAT?

Karen - posted on 02/05/2010

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My datughter is 17 and it is always about her. I was always buying her stuff that I never even bought myself. Actually my mother never bought and I never dared ask. I suffer from the "want to give you what I do not have "ssyndrome. this year I started buying for me. I have to be careful though cause I could keep spending.

Cindy - posted on 02/03/2010

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girl, im the same way i question the money i spend on myself but when its something for her i dont think it twice i guess the motherly vibe wants the best for the kids

Emma - posted on 02/02/2010

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lol, I have this problem also, since discovering I was having a girl in early 2009 I went crazy over everything, now she's 8 months old and I am jealous of her wardrobe. Everytime I go out I say over and over again 'don't buy anything, don't buy anything, she has enough' but once I see something I'm like a drug addict surrounded by narcotics.

I love buying her clothes and shoes to match and anything that I think is just to cute to say no to, admittadley I keep saying that once she's old enough to know what I'm doing I won't continue to do so because I have seen other little girls that have been so spoilt that they make such a drama when they want something and I don't want my lil girl to be a spoilt brat. lol.

I love my daughter and nothing in the world will change that but I do think that it's time to slow down and let her wear the clothes she has without adding more and having all these GORGEOUS outfits just sitting around never been worn.

But I totally understand where you're coming from lol.

Jamie - posted on 01/19/2010

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Ya'll can enlist me in the club also! I'm so guilty of spending the majority-if not all of-my money on my daughter...And when it comes to buying something for myself, I tend to just go without. I feel oddly guilty for even looking at spending $20.00 on a pair of jeans or a sweater for myself...But would spend that and more on her for something small.....How is that there small clothes cost almost as much as our clothes do?? hahaha

[deleted account]

I do that too! It gets so bad to the point that my hubby had to take me out shopping - just for me - and I was STILL looking at all the kid clothes and thinking what would look good and how adorable one of my girls would look in that outfit... Yeah...



My hubby gets a little upset over it. He likes when I look nice, and I see where he's coming from, but I see it as every $30 pair of pants I get I could be spending on my kids. You wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to let my hubby buy me a real Coach purse as my Christmas present (even though he got it at the Coach outlet PLUS had a 20% off coupon). All I could think of was how much I could have gotten the kids - not that they need anything!



I am working on taking care of myself as well as the kids and I am slowly getting better. It's just something I think us mothers have to be aware of at all times and make sure to think of. :)

Tami - posted on 01/13/2010

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For me it was dance classes & competition tours (which she wanted) for the past 6 years that have been so costly it backed us into the almost-bankrupt corner. She's a great kid (teen) who gets good grades & is ahead in school, but this imbalance will kill us in the longrun. I'm thinking now my biggest error has been that I haven't taught her sometimes the outside world is just too expensive & there has to be early limits to protect from ruin. :(

Kayla - posted on 01/12/2010

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i do the exact same thing im always buying her cute ioutfits andbooks and everything and well i never buy myself anything,

Kelly - posted on 01/11/2010

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You are exactly like myself and probably millions of other mummies!! We all do it! Don't know why it must be a built in thing!! My mum says when your kids get older thats the time you will start to buy yourself things. Don't sweat it you are so NOT on your own x

Michaela - posted on 01/11/2010

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Quoting Kimberly:

You should never feel bad for putting your daughter on a pedastal. We all do it because they're our world. I go home and look and my clothes and just shake my head but then I commit to improving the situation and still come back with hundreds of dollars of clothes and toys for my daughter and "might" get me a $5 t-shirt. I go to work and there are a lot of young moms that are sooo "Sex and the City" looking and I get a little down because I have on a t-shirt and hoodie but then I look at my daughter and I'm proud of her and that I'm more commited to giving her everything as opposed to making sure I "look" good...the bottom line is I "feel" good and I'm proud I put my daughter first......you sound like a good mother...yes yes yes, but lets also look dehm! SEXY TOO! we take 30% and give our babies 70%. you know, why can't our daughters also help us by saying "oh! mummy don't buy it for me, buy sexy hot jeans for yourself"?. #*#*


 

Kimberly - posted on 01/02/2010

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You should never feel bad for putting your daughter on a pedastal. We all do it because they're our world. I go home and look and my clothes and just shake my head but then I commit to improving the situation and still come back with hundreds of dollars of clothes and toys for my daughter and "might" get me a $5 t-shirt. I go to work and there are a lot of young moms that are sooo "Sex and the City" looking and I get a little down because I have on a t-shirt and hoodie but then I look at my daughter and I'm proud of her and that I'm more commited to giving her everything as opposed to making sure I "look" good...the bottom line is I "feel" good and I'm proud I put my daughter first.

Dolores - posted on 12/31/2009

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You know what...now I don't feel so bad...It took my daughter o let me know that it was ok to take care of me too and a very good male "friend" to explain to me that it was ok to take care of me "first". The way he put it, everyone knows that I take really good care of my baby girl, they just all wish I would take that much care of me (so does my daughter). As a matter of fact, when I started taking care of me first, my daughter started taking care of herself better too. It seems selfish and we think that other "perfect" moms will look down on us, but who cares? Take care of you and you will take care of them. (And, yes, I will be taking my own advice more often!)

Rose - posted on 12/30/2009

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I do the same thing. I feel guilty for buying my self cloths or anything in that matter. My daughter is always lookin cute. as for me i could use some new cloths. I wear my husbands shirts all the time. I recently bought some new shirts for my self and felt so bad.

Michaela - posted on 12/23/2009

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Quoting Divya:

Please enroll my name as well in the club...you are so welcome dear.  But, I just can't help buying things I find sooooo...cute and nicesoooooo derm! cute and nice!  for my daughter and even if I resist the first time, I eventually land up buying it in my next trip. I just can't help it. but, I admit lot of times it is not necessary but...can't help..i also can't help it, worse of it when the hairclips come in sooo many different styles and colours, the potty......she has about 4; the last time i think i saw another one that looked advanced comperd to the last one, but this time i blink and moved on.


 

Divya - posted on 12/23/2009

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Please enroll my name as well in the club... But, I just can't help buying things I find sooooo...cute and nice for my daughter and even if I resist the first time, I eventually land up buying it in my next trip. I just can't help it. but, I admit lot of times it is not necessary but...can't help..

Tynesha - posted on 12/22/2009

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ITS OK TO SPEND MONEY ON YOUR CHILD BUT YOU CANT FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF EITHER. SOMETIMES SHE MAY NOT EVEN NEED SOME OF THE THINGS YOU BUY HER. ITS OK IF YOU BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING

Lisa - posted on 12/19/2009

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No, you are not okay! You are suffering from the same syndrome me and other moms suffer from-deny thyself syndrome. We have to look good also, and take care of ourselves. When we go to the PTA meetings, we don't want to look like the worn down, haggard help next to our children. Resist the urge, and once in a while buy something for yourself. Ask yourself if she really need what you are purchasing for her. Then resist temptation....

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