Please Help!!! Is it that bad to sleep in the bed with your baby?

Melissa - posted on 02/15/2010

I think its okay if you take a nap with your daughter. But i think when you start bringing her into bed with you and your significant other i think it will cause problems. Since you guys wouldn't be able to do what you want such as get intimate and i think its the best time to get children to sleep in their own bed to establish that that's her room and mommy and daddy sleep alone. I know it was on Dr. Phil. lol He said that's how couple come apart b/c they put the children first and it should be something about your husband then the child. I know it was something like that. Since my husband got all high and mighty and told me to make food for him. lol

Emma - posted on 02/02/2010

I have slept with my daughter since she was 5 and a half months because she just seems to sleep easier, I also felt bad about it because alot of the clinic nurses say it's wrong but garunteed if you ask any mum they will say they have done it at least once. I think yes it is very possible that you could forget that they're next to you but highly doubtful.

I was so worried when my bub was very little when I tried that I would be so tired I would roll ontop of her but I was the opposite, any little whimper I heard I was awake and I'm still like that now. I think your nautural instinct is to be mindful whether you're deep in sleep or not that if they begin to stir you're up and ready to go.

I love having my daughter sleep next to me not only do we both sleep better but what's better then waking up next to your child.

Ashley - posted on 02/02/2010

From the time my daughter was six weeks old she would sleep through the night but only with my husband and I. We got a lot of crap for it but it worked for us. She would rest in my arm so I knew where she was and I wasn't worried about SIDS or anything else because she was right there. I was in school and my husband worked so we both enjoyed the long sleep. When we moved when she was 6 months old we tried having her sleep in her own bed for the first time in awhile and she did great! Now she is 2 been sleeping in her own bed and sneaks in our bed in the morning for cuddle time. I think that we needed to move her in her room when she was ready, and when she was a newborn she needed to know we were there to feel comfortable and safe. It works

Teresa - posted on 01/18/2010

Other than from 6-14ish months my son has always slept in my bed. I'm a single mom and he doesn't have a room of his own, so it works for us.

Dawn - posted on 01/16/2010

My daughter is 8 weeks old now and has been sleeping with me since sh was about 2 weeks. It is the only way I get any sleep. She will sleep for 7-8 hours straight when in bed with me. I think we have an instinct not to roll. I just started back to work and love this bonding time with her. I think she feels more comfortable sleeping with us. As long as she is on our mattress she sleeps so good.

Ronda - posted on 01/14/2010

It'll sound funny because my 6 month old has slept off and on with me since she was 2 weeks old but it is true that they can die from it. I suppose it is up to the parent. I trust myself not to roll over on her in my sleep and I wouldn't tell your doctor because they would scold you lol. It all depends on how comfortable you are doing it. I like having her sleep with me in my bed, she always seems so far away in her crib :]

Ahyze - posted on 11/19/2009

no it's not bad!it's up to u! for me, it is better for us to have more bonding moments with our kids... especially for me coz i am breastfeeding her although the night.... she is turning one now at the end of this month and still we slept together in my bed...

Daniella - posted on 11/19/2009

i let my 5month old daughter sleep in the bed with me now and then as long as u let them no they have their own bed then it ok

Michelle - posted on 11/19/2009

I'm so surprised at the amount of co-sleeping supporters we have here.

If cosleeping parents don't take safety seriously and are unwilling to use common sense, the possibility of their baby suffocating is dramatically increased. There is also always a risk that a co-sleeping baby can fall off the bed and It is possible for cosleeping to become a barrier to intimacy, if you let it.

There are a few low cost options for keeping baby close but not in the same bed such as a co-sleeper (about $100). Good luck

Courtney - posted on 11/19/2009

I dont believe it is all that bad for children to sleep in the bed with their parent/s.
I did with all my children from birth and by a few weeks they were all sleeping sound and not waking till early morning.
Some parents have a fear of rolling or suffocating their child but documented cases of a parent suffocating their child in bed are rare; my personal belief is that babies are more settled co-sleeping with a parent but thats only my personal experience.
I couldnt imagine putting a newborn baby in another room to sleep away from my side ,it'd be strange esp after carrying them for 9mths.

Katrina - posted on 11/19/2009

hiya my daughter is 2months old 2 she sleeps better with me 2 just like my lil boy did ur instinct will protect her when a baby is sleepin in bed with u u brain tells u not 2 roll over don listen 2 health visitors all they do is put pressure on u x

Patsy - posted on 11/18/2009

I used to do it when my kids were little. just don't make a habbit of it, because otherwise they don't want to sleep in their own bed or alone.

Jessica - posted on 11/18/2009

no ur baby cant die from it only if u roll on them......

havin ur baby sleep either with u or in the same room as u is another prevention of SIDS(sudden infant death syndrome). i had my 1st daughter sleep in the same room with us til she was 1. n when she would wake early in the morning for a feed she would b in ourbed. she is now nearly 3 n happily in her own room since the begining of this yr. n i now have my 14 week old in the same room as us in her cot n she does the same......early mornin feeds she is in bed with us.

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2009

My son (second born) died of SIDS at 2 1/2 months old while co-napping w/my husband. We did all of the same things we did w/our daughter (first born). SIDS is in no way preventable but the risks can be reduced ... Why risk it? No mother should have to experience what I have. The risk is very real!!! I have had a subsequent child and I would never sleep with her because it scares the hell out of me. Her safety is by far more important to me than the convenience of her sleeping "close by". As good as it feels to sleep with your child, It feels 100x's better to know that she'll be safe.

Helly - posted on 11/16/2009

whatever it takes when they are only new!!! i did this with all 3 of my babes cos i also found it easier to feed!
they alternated between our bed and theirs and we were lucky that we didnt have a problem with them wanting to stay with us!!!
during the day they slept with me and at night in their own bed.
I wrapped my babies at night and the wrap i used to swaddle i would sleep with that so my smell would be on it.....that worked well for me!

Candace - posted on 11/16/2009

i thought my baby slept better with me in bed than in her cradle nothing has happened she still sleeps with me

Sheila - posted on 11/14/2009

yes it is what if you roll over and smother your baby i let my son seep with me and my husband and he rolled over and somehow pillow was over my son luckly my husband was not a sound sleeper he hear this faint cry and he lookd under his pillw and he told me right then that the baby belongs in his bed at night and my son was a premmy but i knew that it was the best thing i didnt want to prepaire a funeral but its your child u make that call but that is why they make babybeds so the child has its own space too

Chelsea - posted on 11/13/2009

I think it's okay. I breastfed my baby and at night he slept in bed with me to make breastfeeding easier and so I could get some sleep. I think you shouldn't let it become a habit because later in life they will want to sleep in bed with you every night. I have witnessed many children, ages of 3-12, struggling to sleep in their own bed without their mom.

Jazmyn - posted on 11/13/2009

After i had my first baby i SWORE she would not sleep with me and my hubby, that lasted about a month!! I found out the hard way that yes you and baby DO get better sleep if you co-sleep, and it is SO much easier if your breastfeeding to nurse during the night, My 2 oldest moved up to a big kid bed right before they turned 3 and the new baby was born ( all 3 of my kids are 3 yrs and 3 weeks apart ) with little to no problem, my youngest is 15months old and she sleeps through the night most nights in her crib already, I would say if you are comfortable co-sleeping go for it!! With 3 small kids the only sleep deprivation I've had was the first month my oldest was home and when one or more of the kids are sick:)

there are also co- sleepers you can buy that fit in the middle of your bed, kind of like a little buffer, my sis- in law used it and loved it!!

Good luck and congrats on the new baby girl :)

Lucy - posted on 11/13/2009

I have 2 daughters 11&21.I always let them sleep w/ me.You wont roll on them&smother them,your 'mommy alarm' will go off.When thier dad worked alot,he found comfort in just watching them sleep&he believed he was getting bonding time if the kids were w/ us,even if they were asleep,it was a comfort.They grew out of it,just as kids who take longer to potty train,my beleif is;They dont go to college in diapers&soon enough,they dont want to be in your bed either.Another version is,if you didnt want to sleep alone&just wanted to be held...you wouldnt want the person you love to tell you to go sleep in your own bed,alone..right?Everything turns out,as an older mom,i can say this..Good luck!!

Mona - posted on 11/13/2009

Hi moms, I agree that in most cases it is not dangerous to let your baby sleep in your bed. Most of my kids did that. I would just say that it affects your marriage more than it affects your baby and you have to consider whether you want to sacrifice intimacy for closeness to your baby. On the other side, this age will never come back for your baby so enjoy it as much as you can!

Tracy - posted on 11/12/2009

hi i do the same i sleep with my 9 month old an hav since she was about 2 or 3 months i dont think anything is wrong wit that you just gotta be extra careful an make sure the blanket dnt go over her head

Garyn - posted on 11/12/2009

I say no. from day one I coslept with both of my girls. I liked the security and bonding. If you are nervous of possible injuries use a cosleeper or infant no roll cushion. I am a light sleeper and always cuddled close.It is a wonderful experience like nothing else. they both transferred to their own beds by six months and sleep through the night.

Sam - posted on 11/11/2009

i have slept with both my kids, althou i slept with my 1st longer (my son) my daughter still comes and sleeps with me she didnt go into her own bed till she was 2 months she slept with me from day1 to 2 months, so no i dont think its bad at all.

Paige - posted on 11/11/2009

My first slept in bed with me until she was about 4 months old and then we had a VERY long battle to get her to sleep in her own bed..she fought really hard on this and the whole thing probably took around 8 months to get to the point where she now sleeps in her crib every night and doesn't get up in the middle of the night refusing to go back to sleep unless she's with us..we just had a second baby (6 weeks old now) and she's been sleeping with us but will sleep in the bassinet most nights..I don't plan to let her sleep with us as we did with our first because it was such a nightmare to get her to accept sleeping in her room rather than ours and I don't wan to do that again haha I do agree tho that it is nice to have them with you at night haha

Jerlyne - posted on 11/11/2009

I use to sleep with by baby laying ontop of me. I did that until she got to be and was blocking my breathing, she then moved to my arm, then to her side of the bed. I will not tell you that it was or that you are wrong because I felt a stronger bond with her as a result.

Tracy - posted on 11/11/2009

Hey Savannah, like all the other Mums said, its not a good idea to, my daughter died just b4 she was 4 months old from umonia, totally different thing but u dont want that to happen to u, your baby can die from sids, after she is over the age of 4 mnths it is fine as she will be in the safe zone, that is what i always got told.but anyway your daughters gorgeous, do the right thing and keep her in her bed till she is of age to sleep with you. Best wishes, Tracy

Angie - posted on 11/11/2009

NO! I've had all ours in bed with us for a couple of years and I highly recommend it! I don't mean to brag but my kids are all outgoing, well-adjusted partly, I believe, because we gave them so much love at 1st. Hubby and I think EVERYBODY in the house sleeps better this way. I KNOW baby and I do! 15 yr old son is right here and he agrees. Oh, I agree with others that kids WILL maniplulate and try to stay forever :) At a certain point you decide to set a boundary and say " Now you are too big to be with us and you get your own bed". A sticker reward chart worked great for us. I believe in spoiling them at 1st, then give them strict boundaries when they are ready. At our house that's about 1 1/2 or 2 years old. Naomi's points are great. PS Follow your insticts!

Carolina - posted on 11/11/2009

Hi Savannah, I agree with most comments. I think doctors tell people not to sleep with babies cause some parents drink and then they do not realize about their children in bed. I had my daughter sleeping with me since she came from the hospital until she was about 15 months old, not because she did not have a crib, but because I created that habit and then she would cry if I put her in the crib. With time, it has an impact in your sleep because you can not really rest; also, it could have a bad impact in your relationship with your partner. I have my daughter sleeping now in her own bedroom, and had to create a whole new room for her, so she would not see the crib anymore. It is not perfect, as sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and looks for me. I really understand your feelings because it is such an amazing experience, but don't forget that it will are creating a habit. At some point you would need to break it, just be sure you have a plan. When you are ready!. Enjoy your little one!

April - posted on 11/11/2009

i allow my 4 month old to sleep with me when she first starts to stir.she loves in and i have a feeling its going to get worse. but yes it is dangerous with little ones. A family friend just lost their grand-daughter because her moms pillow fell on her face. just because you know where she is and everything doesnt mean an accident like that might happen

Melissa - posted on 11/11/2009

i wont lie, when i was in the hospital i sleep with both my kids with me, they yelle dat me every time, but i noticed when yu have a kid with yu yu dont move in bed, as much as yu would if yu didnt. but if yu get in the habit of sleepin with them all the time, they wont wanna sleep in her own bed,and i know they are so comfortable to sleep with.

Kelly - posted on 11/11/2009

i would never advice sleep with such a young baby in your bed as if anything was to happen you would never forgive yourself and as your daughter gets older she will get use to it and it will be a hard habbit to break xx

Jacqueline - posted on 11/11/2009

When my little girl had her opwn room (from birth to 3 months old), she would sleep in the cot in her own room by herself and that was fine. My husband left us and I had to move out and rent a place for ourselves. I ended up needing to split the rent with someone as it was very expensive by myself. So after that, my daughter and myself had to share a bedroom. I would put her down for her naps in the afternoon in her cot, she would wake up, and then she would be up again until bed time. I would put her to bed and when she woudl wake up in the middle of the night, I could be right there for her, and she would usually go back to sleep by herself and sleep in her cot. When she started rolling on to her tummy and becoming more mobile, it was harder and harder to comfort her. Because I was sharing, I found the best way to comfort her was to have her sleep with me. I then moved in with my brother and he was stressed out and over worked, so having her sleep in the bed with me AFTER she had woken up in the middle of the night was the best way for me to feed her and comfort her quickly. Now each night, she goes to sleep in her cot, and then waked up after about 3-4 hours. I pick her up, feed her, and then put her in the bed next to me where she drops right off. She is 13 months old now.



During the night she will have gas and move around a bit. When she moves around, she'll partially wake up, but when she does that she'll start crying and sit up. I can't just lay her back down, because she'll sit up again and if she sits up for long enough, she'll stand up and just keep wailing. If I tend to her and she drops off again, I MAY be able to get her into her cot, but usually I'm so tired, I just lay her next to me and she WILL drop right off. This is just my experience. I hope this gives you some insight on whats to come, and the habits and patterns that form and how hard it can be trying to break them, especially when you're so tired yourself.

Naomi - posted on 11/10/2009

This whole issue comes down to you and your beliefs about raising your child.

I believe the danger side of things is not really an issue. All the mums I know that have their babies or kids in bed with them have said that even in their deepest sleep they are always aware of where their child is.

As to the argument of letting your kids sleep with you, again it is a matter of opinion, convenience and ideals. After my divorce, I allowed my 12 yo (7 at the time) to sleep with me. For chidren, the closeness to their mother protects them from loneliness, fear and discomfort. Imagine being left in a dark room 50x the size of you - pretty scary.

What Kim said is true also. Children will take advantage of the situation and want to sleep with you every night - it's comfortable for them.

I struggled with issue of overindulgence and concern for my girl's welfare. I compromised by telling her that she was to start the night off in her own bed, then she could climb in with me after her midnight toilet break.

Now, apart from when she's sick or in distress, she is quite happy to sleep in her own bed.

At the end of the day, any decision you make is the right decision for that particular time and place. If you're unsure of any decision you're forced to make, think about your child's personality; his/her needs; your needs; the image of who you would like your child to become; and research the net. Just trust your instincts - I cannot emphasise this enough - women have heightened instincts for their own and their child's survival. Trust them.

Hope this helps in some way. Happy parenting

I

KIM - posted on 11/10/2009

IT IS SUCH A BAD THING TO START, I DID THIS WITH MY SON AND HE SLEPT WITH US UNTIL HE WAS 2 AND IT WAS HORRIBLE, I WOULD NOT ADVISE THIS. HOPE THIS HELPS SOME.