sisters wanting the same thing

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am the mom of two little girls they are six and three. I am having problems with them fiighting and always wanting what the other one has. I don't really know if this"normal" because I have a younger brother and we would occasionally get into the whole " I want what he has." I guess what I want to know is there anything I can do to stop this before it happens. I am not going to just give them the same thing all the time because that just seems like they will never understand that they don't always have to have what the other one has. I never knew what it takes to raise little girls. If anyone could please give me some advice on how to help my girls to understand that being unique is the best way to be.

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Melinda - posted on 05/19/2009

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I have 3 girls...age 8, 7, and 6 and they're always wanting what each other have. I make it a point to get the same stuff...just in diff colors, shapes, etc. that way they to 'share' the experience and learn to play all together with diff things in their mind. Right now, my oldest is going through "clothes' syndrome....she thinks the youngest clothes are way cooler than hers and she gets jealous. I let her try it on to show it's too small and then she gets embarassed sometimes and then understands. Sometimes it works, and sometimes not.

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I have 14 yr old, 9 yr old, 7 yr old and 4 yr old girls along with 6 boys. The girls always have wanted what each other has, but I have simply said that there are certain things we share and certain things are just ours. The worst fights were when they were younger but passed quickly once we established a pattern of behavior that is acceptable. That is key in dealing with children know what you find acceptable and encourage the right behavior. That means a set of morals that you train into your children that they must adhere to. If they learn them it will bring peace. My girls still have moments, but they are that, moments.

Lisa - posted on 05/05/2009

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I thought it was only happening in my house! Right now my girls are 3 and 5 and I thought they would grow out of it but it looks like it might continue. I try to vary it by getting them the same thing but in a different color. My older one gets pink my younger one gets purple. That's how I get them to not fight.

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I can't giv eyou an answer, but you are not alone. My 16 month old wants to play with my 5 year old toys and my 5 year old wants to play iwth the 16 month old toys. Most of teh time they want it when teh other one has it. So it could be common.

Jaime - posted on 04/27/2009

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I have 3 girls (8, 4, 3) we have alot of triple toys to prevent fighting. When one of the girls get a gift it is theres for the day, the next day it is timto share. We have our fair share of fighting over objects but ultimatley they share. Each of the girls gets a weekly allowence and if there is something one sister has and the other wants it, they save up there money to buy it. Yes I agree with taking the object away, it happens in our house as well. The funny thing is hearing "you can't come into my room". My girls do hide some of their things in their rooms they don't want the others to play with.

Its a girl thing, they always want what the other has!!!

Lisa - posted on 04/27/2009

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i have a 12 year old and 8 year old and a 2.4 year old and they all fight . the two olders ones have proper fist fights which ends in tears and the litttle one has started to hit people with objects and alsi her fists .i usally monitor was going on and let them get on with it or they carry on through out the day till bed .

Amber - posted on 04/16/2009

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It will continue.  Mine are 10 and 6.  The 6 year old wants what the ten year old has.  Not really been a problem with my older.  I just say that is not yours, if your sister says you can play with it then you can.  They have to be responsible for their own belongings.  Even when it comes to sharing.  But if one constantly doesnt share  she then does not get to play with the others things either.  They do have some of the same things but most are different.  I let them chose almost everything they own, except for gifts.  My older got wise to the younger pretty quick and now makes her chose first just to pick something different!!  It is comical.  And if they do fight to much, no matter who it belongs to I take it way until they each feel they can be mature enough to play with what ever it is.  Only get one second chance if the fight continues the object is put up to give back in a few weeks or just simply thrown away.  If it cannot something to have fun with and only causes arguements then the object is not worth having in the first place.  SImply as that.  I always tell my girls they have controll of how much they get to do.  Be good, get rewarded, be bad get punished.  Pretty simple I think.





Tamara - posted on 04/15/2009

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Ahh the battle continues!! My girls are 3, 2, and 9 months. I figure they will always want

what the others have. With small things I try to encourage them to work it out for themselves, remind them of sharing. I also have limits on special things, like blankets, favorite beloved toy which is always off limits to other sisters. But for the BIG fights where no one is willing to budge or listen to reason, I simply take the object away, then when things are calm I explain again the importance of sharing and that we, as a family talk, listen and find a solution.

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