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Happy kids?

Bethany - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

We know we've all had varied lives, and raised our kids under all kinds of circumstances. What about our hopes and dreams when we brought our kids home from the hospital, and tried to raise them right. What about now?

I just thought I'd bring up the question...how many of our beautiful babies have grown up into happy and adjusted adults? Not trying to bring any grief to the table but I'd like to hear from those who have one or more kids who are happy adults. MIght be a hard assessment to make, but don't consider the circumstances or problems they may have, but their character.

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Carla - posted on 11/21/2009

3,795

Bethy, I don't honestly think there is such a thing as happy and well-adjusted in this age we live in. Our parents made mistakes with us, we made mistakes with our kids, plus adding in genetics and environment. As a matter of fact, happy is something that comes and goes for ME. We are all children in grown up bodies. I was listening to my mother (81) talking about her older sister; she still holds grudges against her because she was mean to her when they were teens (60+ years ago), and even though Auntie has passed on, the resentment still remains. It colored their relationship all their lives. I have struggled with hurts from 40+ years ago, and am now just starting to put them in perspective.

Well adjustedness and happiness are part of finding wisdom. Like love, they are decisions you make, not emotions. If we deliberately choose to love someone, we can find something to love in them. If we truly want to be happy, we will follow hard after the things which bring happiness. If we conquer those two, well adjustedness (like my new word?) will follow. Probably we won't be well adjusted until we are too old to enjoy it!

Forgetting and forgiving the past is, to me, anyway, the best way to be happy and well adjusted. And, as we moms of grown kids figure this out, we can show our children how to achieve this.

Life is a learning process, and there is no age limit on it. We think we should have all this down by the time we're 25. Don't think so! Every trial, every tear we shed teaches us what truly makes us happy, and this takes a lifetime.

Are our children happy? Maybe not--yet, but they are working on it, and that's all we can hope for.

Bethany - posted on 11/16/2009

I think I can honestly say I have one! Only since he got saved, changed his belief system and thought processes...that was at age 17.

Bethany - posted on 11/15/2009

I think I can honestly say I have one! Only since he got saved, changed his belief system and thought processes...that was at age 17.