Torn between schools

Donna - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hello my name is Donna. I have a son Tyler who is age 12 well in one month he will be 13. He is a bright and very smart boy. I was very blessed to have known the right people when Tyler was born because finding out that he was downs was a shock to us. I wasn't scared or embarressed but shocked because we had all the test done before he was born and my pregnagcy was great. Nothing indicated that anything was different. Never the less he was born downs. From the beginning nothing has been normal to a downs point of view or what people have put in the text books of what to expect when having a downs child. We were told so many negitive things to expect that we really didn't know which way to turn. But as I stated before we were blessed to know the right people. So When we were told that they were no 100% sure he was Downs??? Then while that was pending we were sent to have some test run because He was not eating and was turning a blueish color, things were not right. Lucky for us we had a Dr. in the Family and he sent us to a specialist who withing 20 mins had us results that Tyler was downs, and that he had a heart defect which was slowly killing him. Needless to say we fired our other Dr.'s and stayed with this group. This Dr. hugged me and told me as long as I treated him as I would if he did not have Downs, and love him just as would have loved him in any other condition things would fall into place. And they have until now. Tyler has attended regular public schools and we have main streamed him in regular classes. He plays golf, baseball, and basketball on regular teams with typical children who treat him no different than anyone else. The only delay that we have with Tyler that really hinders him is his speech. So he has a device which assest him in talking when he is in the class room. Things have worked out great. But now we are going to middle school. I have one school who will modify the class for Tyler so he can keep up. He will go to regular classes and have regular work, homework as the other students but modified to him needs. The only thing is that he will not know one person at this school. He will not know any of the teachers, just the principle. The other school he will be with children he has been in school with for the past 7 years, some longer because of pre-school but he will not have the same education as the other. He will have more classes for mentally challenged . I feel he will get very bored and loose interest in shcool. But he will know all the children and the teachers. I really want him to learn all he can learn and he loves school. He is a social butterfly, he is not shy at all. But not knowing anyone I just don't know how that will affect him. I'm scared for him but at the same time I'm proud that he has this oppurtinity to move forward and at least try. I just don't know what to do. I'm torn. Any suggestions???

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6 Comments

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Donna - posted on 09/23/2009

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Thank you all for your input it was so helpful. I went with my gut feeling and so far so good. The classes are small which I really like. He is not pulled out to main stream and I really thought that was going to be an issue but I've seen how much the teachers seem to pull it into the class room and how they have adjusted to each student on a one on one basis. Even though Tyler has most of his issues in communication because of his speech the teachers make every effort they can to keep me updated in his day to day activities. So far this seems to be working so for the time being we are going to stay put. Again thank you all so much for your help

User - posted on 09/03/2009

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hi all must say what beautiful and precious children we all have my young lady is called amy she is 20 know it was a very hard decision as i remember the dreaded school word but we sent her to main streem school she adapted very well she loved her echo eg educaton helper so much and we still keep in contact to this day she finally moved schools again wen she was 10 due to national curiclam and started a special school she has come on so much is quit independant she loved special school because of the smaller classes and made some good friends she has just had her prom and gone to college

[deleted account]

I know you said Tyler is involved in lots of sports - are any of the kids on his teams from the other school that you are considering? How about asking the school if they will set him up with a "mentor", this way there is someone that he can bond with from the begining (and maybe even meet before school starts), and that then he can can easily meet that childs friends as well?

I think if you keep him involved in sports and other extra-curricular activites, he will continue to meet and bond with other children his age.

[deleted account]

Maybe you could give him some trial time to get adjusted. If that doesn't work and still can't get to know people, then maybye you find another way? My son is only 3 and has just started school. It was really difficult for me to choose the class that we did. We had the option of our regular special ed class or the SXI room, which is more specific to children with multiple delays. I wanted Breckin to be apart of the special ed room, but he is too small, he cannot walk, stand, self feed or talk and admitting that the ECP classroom wasn't for him was so hard. He has been going to the SXI room now for 3 months and has just blossomed. We are so happy with our choice because we did what was best for him. Hope this helps.

Donna - posted on 07/17/2009

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Thank you so much. It's funny you should say to ask Tyler because just today I did that. Because I got to thinking that he is the one having to go to the school each and every day. And you are right he should have a say in this. He makes friends so easy and we have been so lucky to have had everyone at each school he has attended to like him very much and help him in many ways. But I know the older kids get the more they have their in crowds and the more they can really hurt feelings and such. But I think I'm coming to a final conclusion I'm just going to give it alittle more thought. Again thank you for your input. I really appreciate it so much.

Kelly - posted on 07/14/2009

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I would say to look at all the options the same as if your son did not have DS. If you look for the right fit/balance then Tyler will come out strong. It already sounds as if he has made great strides and I think he will do well no matter what you decide. Keep in mind that most children end up at a different school at some point in their life and need to make new friends. That in itself is a great opportunity. If Tyler has a preference I would take that into consideration as well. Good luck for both you and Tyler.

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