9 year old girl just diagnosed! very sceptical. HELP ME SO I CAN HELP HER!!

Ilene - posted on 06/02/2012

My son was officially diagnosed with Asperger's now. I feel comfortable knowing that he will get the social skills help he needs. I've watched him at recess at school and it's sad to see him sitting in the middle of the playground not talking to anyone and not joining in. His school has a social skills class that hopefully will help.

Katrina - posted on 06/02/2012

Hi, my son, 3 was diagnosed a couple months ago with Aspergers. Tony Attwood is the world's specialist when it comes to Apergers. He wrote a book called "The Complete Guide To Aspergersa Syndrome" which covers all ages even adults and has sections in there where it talks abouty the affect on girls. Apparently it affects girls differently in a way that it's more difficult to pick up. Tony Attwood also wrote a book called "Aspergers Syndrome and Girls" or something like that. May be worth a look. His website is www.tonyattwood.com where you will find information and links to online bookshops where you can purchase books and resources. Also www.resourcesathand.com has Autism/Aspergers specific books etc. Hope this helps. Good luck and I hope you and your daughter are well. xxx

Jenny - posted on 05/28/2012

Hi
I found your post when googling 'aspergers girls scepticism'! I am actually in circle of moms just joined few weeks ago.I notice your post is quite old so perhaps you have found the help yolu needed?
I have an 8 year old just diagnosed (I suspected that was the root cause of her difficulties) but like you I am confused as she has many issues but not all the time, very sociable and can surprise you with how well she can cope with things you would think would throw her (new playschool 2 days a week when she was 4 and didnt bother her at all). My own background is teaching and special needs education so I know quite a bit but it doesnt help when it comes to my own child as I feel just as lost as lots of moms on here. I do, however know that 'people with aspergers are as different as Norwegians and trombounes'! :) That quote is from Mark Hodder author of 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night'. If you want to chat any time, just let me know. Hope you and your daughter are doing well :)
Jenny

Ilene - posted on 05/06/2011

How exactly is a diagnosis made? We filled out all kinds of paperwork and the teacher says it's asperger's but the doctor said not enough time has passed that we have notes for symptoms so he diagnosed it as ADHD just this week. I told the teacher that and she balked at me with a "REALLY?" reply. My son chews on everything, especially his hands and pencils, makes grunting noises, is very hyperactive, but also does not have many good friends at school...his classmates are all "just classmates" and hasn't made any close connections with anyone other than one little boy from last year who switched schools recently.

Brooke - posted on 03/09/2011

Hi! I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. My son is 8 (9 very soon) and it was picked up by his grade prep teacher, I didn't even know what it was! I just thought my kid was wierd! lol
The problem with Aspergers is that it IS a spectrum, not every child will have all the symptoms. For example, his teacher in grade 2 told me that she didn't believe he had it, as he uses eye contact and plays with other kids! This was after she had him in her class for only 2 weeks!
He doesn't show signs every day, either, he can go for days being "normal" and then lose it over some little thing, and leave me staring at him in shock, because I don't understand the problem! The one thing that I have taught him is that "It's not a disability, it's a difference" He got very angry when his grandmother called it a disability, and sat there for ages saying that to himself. Although I think it helped him to see that I was angry about it too.
When he was diagnosed, the paediatrician told me that the reason it is so hard to pick is that it is merely an extension of what everyone does a little bit anyway. All people have "Aspie" traits, it's just how severe they are as to what is on the spectrum.
We found that we had to change some of the ways we do things at home, for example, I can't just say clean your roome, I write a list that tells him to pick up the cars first, then the clothes, then rubbish etc.
At our parent teacher interview (different teacher, thank god) she mentioned that if she asks the kids to write out something, she will get a blank page and a shrug. But if she sits down and asks for his ideas, and writes them herself, she reckons he is pretty much a genius!
I recently found out that my sister was diagnosed as a kid, but nothing was done for her. After she dropped out of school, Mum took her back to the doctor and she was diagnosed again. This time she was old enough to do something about it herself. She went back to school, and spoke to the teacher regarding her diagnosis. They asked her how she thought they could help her better. I nearly cried when I heard that, that is the reaction all people should have! If you don't know what to do, ask your daughter! She knows herself better than anyone. By asking my son, we discovered how to get him to get ready for school (another list) and we found out he is a better reader than we thoiught, he just can't read out loud because his mouth can't keep up with his eyes!
I don't know if this helped at all, I was just trying to say that yes, all kids are different, and you will find those things that work for you. It may take a while, but you will get there. Chin up!

Tami - posted on 02/19/2011

What do you mean? It looks like your post says "Hamburger syndrom"? I don't think I have ever heard Aspergers called that.

I have an 8 yr old Granddaughter who is an Aspie and she was diagnosed at her school when she entered Kindergarten.

She is highly intelligent and reads at about 2-3 grades above level. She was verbal early on and she could form complex sentences at around age 3.

She does have SPD so she has some sensory issues including foods. She is doing better with loud noises, hair washing, nails clipped, etc., but not with food.

She had some gross and fine motor delays but with OT therapy for 2 years she has pretty much caught up to her peers except for riding a bike, and swinging high on a swing. Partly a balance issue and partly a fear of falling. She also hates to lose at anything so she doesn't like to play boardgames, etc., and she is a perfectionist.



She has not had many meltdowns since she was about 3. She experiences pain and discomfort more intensely then a child without Aspergers. Getting even slightly hurt, having a nosebleed, or getting even a minor cold or sore throat is a very big deal to her, it feels 100 times worse to her.

She is doing very well in 2nd grade and her latest report card was mostly outstandings and above grade level. She even gets pulled out of class for "enrichment" because she is at above grade level.

She has some social deficits at school, especially trying to figure out how to get other kids to play with her at playground time. She just can't figure out how to join in. And the lunchroom is very distracting sensory wise for her so she has trouble eating there.

My Grandson is 4 and he also seems to be an Aspie and he is aggressive with lots of meltdowns and he seems to have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), we are not sure yet about bi-polar, it does run in our family.

So as you can see my Granddaughter sounds more like your daughter, and not like her cousin, my Grandson. Not all children with Aspergers are like what you described in your post.

Good luck to you and your daughter:O) I like the website that I posted, it's under your post, and I recently found that one. And like you have done, I have done a lot of reading up on Aspergers, books, and online. There is an Aspergers community on Facebook, reading those posts has helped me too to understand my Grandchildren.

Julie - posted on 02/02/2011

Hi, I'm sorry you're feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment, i know i went through this stage too. The difficulties with a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome is that because it is considered a fairly high functioning autism, the symptoms can be very mild and some of them can not be present at all. My son is also 9..10 next week and was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago. Taylor also has a higher than average IQ and was very popular at school (he's home schooled now) he doesn't have "melt downs" and can sustain eye contact with family member just fine. The main symptom he has is his social skill, lack of empathy and understanding of others emotions. So you don't need to tick off every box in the Aspergers symptoms list for a diagnosis to be made. I'm under the strong opinion that you don't need to know all about Aspergers syndrome to know how to deal with your child. Most of the things I've read have described this scary child that has melt downs every 5 minutes, won't eat or sleep or go to the toilet etc etc it scares the life out of you. every child is different, I'm not sure there is a bipolar Aspergers but some days Taylor is much easier to deal with than my other two Children without an ASD. hang in there.