Is it possible......

Melanie - posted on 03/16/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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It been hitting my hubby and i at every angle this last mth. My 7yo and 8yo sons r waiting for appointments for assessments for aspergers.. Our 7yo we have always since age 2 had concerns. He gets stuck on things like hes a stuck record. At the moment hes talking like hes in a computer game, he stops playing this way for dinner and for him 2 do that he presses a button in the air and says " paused" then comes to eat. He flaps his arms too. so we thought we would ask if all this is ok, well hes refured, there r heaps more going on with him that i cant say on here, it will b to long to read. Our 8yo his teacher had started the worries, he cant understand backwards thinking, eg days of week backwards or subtraction, hes also been pan and brushing the classroom carpet. At home he has a short temper and even gets worse when he doesn't understand something. Im not concerned to much myself, but im worried hes been ova looked by me as my 7yo is soo demanding!

Now a few weeks ago my hubbys mum says to him, that he was diagnosed aspie as a kid he never knew till that moment !!!??!!! ( does explain a few things) sooo confused and we have 4 children, 3 boys and a girl. My dr was happy about our " family" the idea of hubby and possibly 2 of our kids having this is " interesting" her words. Is this possible??? can all our kids have or get aspergers cause their daddy has it???? we r lost and feel like a failure, what have i done to my sons for this to happen?

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Jamie - posted on 03/26/2012

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Yes, it is very possible. There is strong evidence to suggest that Asperger's has a genetic factor and also that the father has a strong tendency to pass it down to his sons, which suggests the Asperger alleles may be attached to the Y chromosome.



But please don't look at this as a failure on your or your husband's part! I may not have passed down Asperger's to my son, but the poor dear has inherited my migraine headaches. But I didn't fail him by passing down those genes, I didn't have any control over that! Neither did you and your husband.



But I sympathize with your feelings! Diagnosis is a trying time and I went through similar feelings when my son was first diagnosed. I felt sad, fearful, angry and relieved all in turn. I decided I had failed him by not finding the correct diagnosis before he was 9yo. By disciplining him for things that he had little control over and by allowing his teachers to isolate him for his "disruptive and disrespectful behavior". But the truth is, I was angry and wanted someone to blame, even if it was me. Don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault. It's just Asperger's. =)

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Sophia - posted on 09/20/2012

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You are not a failure .... wait unitl the assessment is done . Please no matter what you and your husband need to stay friends, helping and supporting each other. Its hard been there ... and I live.... It will work out just hold each other's hand and love your children as is.. read everything about how to help your kids and support each other.

Crystal - posted on 06/07/2012

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Just thought I would drop you a line and some advice. My son was finaly dianosed at the age of 7. before that we new what it would be but had not had it 100% comfermed. The day we where told I lived with the hope that he would not have Aspergers. There could be a 1% chance that every thing was just a miss understanding. When i was told I cryed. Why everyone asked.

The only thing I can say is untill they tell you 100% there is that hope they are being "strange" kids and all is well. Not saying my son is not well but as a mom of a Aspie you know they will have a harder life. And NO mom wants that.

So my advice is to learn all you can about it as you wait. And know that no matter what you will love them to death. There will be days you ask why and wonder if you can handle it. And the answer will always be yes. For us moms can handle anything! It's that simple.

Melanie - posted on 03/31/2012

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Thanx soo much for ur replies. we r waiting on a 6mths waiting list to c a child psychologist for both boys. Our 8yr old son. We went and had a chat with his teacher, i was shocked... his desk is out the way of the other kids desks, it looks like hes punished all the time. his teacher said he wants to b there. He is still pan and brushing the carpet. His teacher also asked should she move him bck with the other kids?? i dont knw, hes happy so i said talk 2 him and do what hes happy with. Hes had his eyes tested as the teacher thought he was dyslexic (tests showed hes above expectations for it) well hes borrowed reading glasses of the optition and has got attached!! his teacher said hes working heaps better now, its almost like he thinks he can only work with them on, dont knw if that is possible. So after 4 weeks of thinking and talking to the optition we have bought him reading glasses, hes far sighted in both eyes anyway but not bad enough 2 need reading glasses. I just want answers now :( ive gota b patient i guess. thanx again 4 the comment. x

Deb - posted on 03/23/2012

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I recently went on wrongplanet.com and a lot of folks were commenting that they had Aspie relatives. My son was diagnosed as Aspergers but we don't know of any relatives that have Aspergers or any other form of autism.



Hang in there and I hope you complete the medical assessments soon. Are the boys seeing a developmental pediatrician? After 3 years of visits with different psychiatrists and child psychologists trying to understand what the issue was I finally received a diagnosis from the developmental pediatrician.

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