New to Asperger's- have questions

Minet - posted on 09/17/2012

Having an AS child can be overwhelming at first because you read all you can and take it all in but what do you do with that information?



Take it one day at a time. Does your child need special considerations in the classroom? Talk to her teachers and have an open dialogue with them. Tell them you want to help them succeed in creating the best learning environment for her. If she is having outbursts in class then work with the teacher and let them know what you do at home when that happens so they can implement that same consistency in the classroom. What worked well with my son was a reward system that included his teacher. When he got "green" in the class he was allowed to play on his computer, which is of the highest importance to him.



Also, go to your school board. Since most AS children have issues with behavior (through no fault of their own - it's just how their brain works) You want to get behavior support. This may be as big as teaching the child coping skills or as small as the child needing to be able to chew on something in the classroom to satisfy a sensory issue.



If your child has no problems with learning and doesn't have a learning disability (most AS children are above average learners) then you don't need an IEP, you need a behavior plan for the classroom. As for having AS on her 'record', it doesn't change anything in the long run. As she matures, she may not show as many symptoms and the 'label' will be there only if you need it.



Finally, relax. You have been given an important piece to her puzzle that will help her succeed in the future.



I hope this helps, and good luck

Laura - posted on 09/12/2012

Hi my name is Laura and I have a son who is 17 with Asperger Syndrom. We have problems with my son understanding boundaries, social cues etc. He loves to shock people with posting inappropiate comments and pictures on facebook. He says he likes to shock people! We try to explain how this can be upsetting or offensive to some people but he just doesnt get it. He doesnt like alot of conversation and gets overload if we ask him too many questions or talk about stuff to him. He has got some friends but they are younger than him. He likes to play the drums and loves the xbox. Does anyone else have similar problems?

Sarah - posted on 04/17/2010

I'm the mom of a newly diagnosed 4 year old. He's going to start school next year and I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I let them know he's an aspie? What do they need from me? Will they put him in special education? I don't know where to start here. He was diagnosed in Illinois, will they need another diagnosis from someone in TX? Any help would be so appreciated.

Thanks, Sarah

Deb - posted on 03/26/2010

Chris,

The school counselor is not giving you correct information. it was very concerning that your principal would also state "don't spend your money in the eval" is unprofessional and should be reported to your school district superintendent. Any time a parent suspects their child needs additional services or evaluations it is unbelievable that a school would tell a parent not to do anything when it is clear your child needs additional services. You may request that the school evaluate your son (at their expense) and you should also try to get an outside diagnoises. My son has been diagnoised with Autism/Asperger's Syndrome here in TX and receives the full benefits of special education such as continued learning social skills via speech therapy etc...Also by law a school cannot tell you they don't have funding. It is up to the district to request any funding to meet the needs of all children. I suggest you contact your local Education Agency for more information and also look to find a non paid advocate who would be willing to help educate you on these issues further. Also before, I forget a child diagnoised with ADD qualifies for special ed services here in TX.

Chris - posted on 03/26/2010

My son 10 in two weeks and is the same way very smart, ADD Odd in first grade, just went to a meeting this morning the councler stated we should have him evaluated for HFA OR AS and there is no funding at achool because he's not "special EDD". Then the princ. states don't spend your money in the eval they will just give us statages we will not do...

Deb - posted on 12/15/2009

Hi!

Is your daughter experiencing any difficulties at school? If so, what? It is never a bad thing to ask to have your daughter evaluated by the public school (at no expense to you) to see if she does have Asperger's. Trust me...when I tell you this...because so many parents think that not disclosing or asking for helpt that things will get better in time, especially when they enter middle school...it sets the child up to fail emotionally, educationally and it can get horribly worse especially when other teachers dont' realize that you child has a disabillity they may misinterrupt your daughters words and actions if she truly does have AS. Then there is the issue that children start to bully, make fun of etc...It is a definate cause for concern to not get help and to listen to anyone who would tell you that it would cause more problems later on than it's worth than to seek answers! Please do not let anyone talk you into believing this especially a teacher or a relative that truly doesn't understand or educated about AS.... When this has occurred with families that I have worked with in the past it has had very negative outcomes. Don't worry about the "label" being on her school record...it is nothing more than a "label". I'd really be interested in hearing what the concerns are about being on her school record...Take care and let me know if I can be of assistance to you and your daughter. My son has AS and is now 17 yrs old and thriving at school. I help other families as a nonpaid advocate. If you want more info about my background check out my website at www.debbieadkins.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

Deb

JoAnn - posted on 12/10/2009

I have a 7 year old son who was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. The signs were always there but being new to parenting and parenting a boy (2nd child), I didn't notice anything odd. Teachers from 3 years old questioned me about his hearing, behavior etc. Finally, my son was observed by a Specialist and she saw signs of Asperger Syndrome. He was tested for everything and basically Asperger Syndrome was the best fit. I read all the books and was amazed at the similarities. Since I have bought/read many books. I live in Serbia and my son attends an International/English speaking school. However, many teachers here hadn't heard of Aspergers so I had to buy books for them to read. I am moving back to the states next year (Virginia). And I am hoping I will find the support I need for my son. I am glad he has been diagnosed. It is inherited and I have found 2 other relatives on my husbands side who have Aspergers. There are other family members on the Spectrum as well (just not with Asperger Syndrome). I understand my son so much better since he has been diagnosed. I can pinpoint when a situation is due to his Aspergers. I can help him through it and understand it. Don't ever be ashamed of getting your child diagnosed. It will help him in his life not hurt him!

Teri - posted on 12/05/2009

I'm so glad that I am not alone in this. It's been almost a year since I posted this question and since we have been diagnosed but not through the school formally. The autism specialist has known my daughter for a few years and has been working with her on and off throughout the year. She was also able to get into a social skills class over the summer. She's doing so much better. She's finally making friends in her new school and my stress level has gone way down. We stopped going to the couselor because I didn't feel it was helping her at all. Next year she will be going on to middle school but her magnet GT is continued in 6th grade and she will still be in class with all the same kids. I think it's going to help make the trasition much easier. I hope!!

Melissa - posted on 10/20/2009

My son is almost 13 and I always knew he was special. While he does have ADHD we are know exploring aspergers. He has parinoid personality traits and also hums when he is concentrating on something. Luckily, his teachers have been very supportive with us. He always has A's and NEVER studies for a test. He went thru the rocks and collecting anything electronic because he said he was going to make something cool! Everyday is a challenge but, he can be so sweet and loving that I just go with the flow!!

Tina - posted on 10/09/2009

My son is 11yrs old and I told the school and his teachers. I started a communication journal with my son's teachers and they write me everyday with wether he had a good day or not.They also include homework in it. I write them and let them know of any problems we are having and they are helping with those. One of his teachers is initaling his homework written in homework journal. We have our first meeting with them this coming Thursday to see what they have observed with him and get recommendations.



Tina

Jessica - posted on 10/05/2009

My daughter who is now 13 has been going to to see a pychiatrist once a month since June they started her on medication which has helped quite alot with her social phobias.



Like you Michelle I feel like I'm throwing money out the window they don't seem to offer anything concrete in what I can do / she can do to help her. They have started a girls social group for 13-15 yr old girls they meet once a week and it is all girls with Asperger's. She loves this group its the first time she has been around other girls that are just like her . It's Awesome! Not just for her but for me also to meet other parents going through the same things.

Ashley - posted on 04/15/2009

Wow, some great information from all of you.  I have a 7 year old son that is a classic rule boy and fantasy boy.  His school psychologists said she saw some signs and suggested I keep an open mind.  He was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD  when he was 6 which after his hyperactivity, compulsive hand washing and inattention was taken care of, you could see his rule following to a fault and also his need to make sure everyone else did the same.  His kindergarten teacher said he was the hardest working student she has ever had.  During his free time, he enjoys video games but not as much as sitting in our formal living room alone acting out tv shows or games with hand motions and sound effects.  If you disturb him, he gets very upset and if your in the room, he firmly asks you to leave because he needs his imagination time.

I always thought this was just a unique personality he had, however, after the counsellor mentioned asperger, I did some searching on the web.  I found a fabulous website called and when I read about the rule boy and the fantasy boy, I thought they must be secretly watching us because they were talking about my son......exactly.

We are in the process of a diagnosis but thank you so much for all of your advice and I hope you find the website as helpful as I did.

Valarie - posted on 04/14/2009

I'm glad to get that information about the note from the physician.  I am worried about his transition to upper elementary and how he will be treated if he has a para tagging along behind him all the time.  He doesn't need her now, but the school refuses to let him make his own way.  He's ready to go it on his own for the most part......

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

I have a almost 6 yr old who has Aspergers. Get the diagnosis, my son went without a lot of therapy becaus his doctor wouldn't officially diagnose him becaus he was small. Now that he has been he gets all of the therapy and special help that he needs. He is very high funcioning but there re days and a few things that will just set him off and when they do he needs that lil extra. It also hels that I have memorized the ADA handbook. the schoolboard in our town knows me by name and on sight. The best thing you can do is stay very pro-active. I am normally a quiet and reserved person but have learned that no system is perfect and you have to get up and literally fight to make sure they get what they need fom the schools. Without a diagnosis though the schools hands are tied. effery has a 20 page IEP. which covers everything from seating on the bus (above the wheelwell overstimms him) to wher he eats (he won eat if he is beng watched) He had to be moved up a grade since he gets bored and when he gets bored all hell breaks loose (pardon the language) and to all of the ladies needing some tips with coping and various other issues let me know. I took every class offere on t and my mother is the founding member and the head o a special needs school by us so I have a lot of info and tips that may help. We have been dealing with the sensory disorder diagnosis since he was 16 moths old. He was finally diagnosed an Aspy when he turned 4. As for labelig a childall it takes is a note from the doctor when you enroll in the next scool year and the diagnosis is removed from their record. Thus they aren't labeled for the rest of their lives.

Jaime - posted on 04/10/2009

I am in central florida. my 11year old daughter is in a mainstream class, and she struggles a bit with some subjects, not necessarily grasping the material, but she is a very auditory learner. sometimes i will have to read her textbooks to her, or read a question to her so that she can process it. she did not read on her own and comprehend what she read until 2nd or 3rd grade. she has struggled mostly with reading, because of convergence insufficiency (where both eyes can't focus on the same point). We tried to get an IEP, but they had her evaluated and said that she was not "disabled enough". ugh!! seriously!! now she will be going into middle school, and she will struggle with 8 different teachers, a rotating block schedule, and a homework load that will take her HOURS to complete. there is nothing that the florida school system will do.

Valarie - posted on 04/08/2009

Hi  My son Nick is 9 and has AS.  He is highly intelligent and high functioning.  We probably would not have realized he had a problem, but at 2 he totally stopped talking.  We got a diagnosis of classic autism at 3, but since then have changed his coding to AS.  He has an IEP but does not have any special modifications to his work.  There is a paraprofessional in his classroom if needed, which she isn't.  He does struggle a bit with reading fiction, but that has come a long way this year.  I have found that  the less he has to do with the special education department at his school the better...I INSISTED that he be pulled from therapies...and that he just be allowed to make his own way.  Yes, he has some socialization issues...eye contact etc...but he has friends and is well liked.  He even participated in Destination Imagination this year and his team placed fourth in the New Hampshire State Tournament two weeks ago.  If I could turn back the clock I would not have had him coded...it has just led to problems and has made him stand out...and not in a good way.

Teri - posted on 04/07/2009

Thankfully my daughter is in a class of only 14 because it is a class only for the highly gifted.  The teacher has dealt with other students with this and other conditions so she is very willing to help in any other way.  My daughter will also be in this class next year because it is a class that has 4th and 5th graders.  I'm hoping next year will be better.  She is a bit less mature than the other girls in her class.  They just talk about boys and High School Musical and my daughter would rather watch Spongebob.  This makes her even more of an odd ball in the  class.  Of course the  longer it takes for her to like boys the better.

Holly - posted on 03/31/2009

Teri: I have an 11 year old son with Asperger's, he was diagnosed at 8. The mental health professionals all wanted to classify him as ADHD but I knew it wasn't. He was inattentive not because of an attentional issue but because he was anxious and was ruminating on his worries. Once we got that under control it was clear he was not ADHD. Even though you may not be eligible for Special Education, does not mean that the school should not be doing things for your child. Because she has a diagnosis, she would be qualified for accomodations in the classroom, and also you can access the social groups, and other non-verbal language programs through your school's speech therapy department. My son is also so high functioning he does not qualify for Special Education. But, we have worked with his teachers to have class room accomodations to help him with organizational skills and have arranged for him to have a safe place in the classroom that he can go when things get too overwhelming for him. These things are not formal, but if my school was resistant to these things I would have pushed for a more formal accommodation plan under Section 504 of the Rehab act.

Sue - posted on 03/22/2009

In the US, some states will list it as Asperger's, others will list it as Autism. My 10 year old is high functioning. He sees the Autism teacher 1x6 day cycle, occupational therapist 1x6 day cycle for fine motor skills and speech teacher 1x6 day cycle to help him put his thoughts into writing without all the extra detail. He sees each teacher for 30 minutes. These services would not be available to us if he did not have the diagnosis on his school record. His younger brother has no issues except for being a little weak in some of the fine motor skills. No diagnosis, no services. Luckily I have learned some things from the occupational therapist and I am able to work with him at home.

Helga - posted on 03/17/2009

I dont know where u're at, but I'm in Norway. I have a 10 year old son with AS, and he is really smart as well. He has a great teacher, and goes in a normal class, but he has an aid there at all times. He also has a teacher for 6x30min a week, just to help him with whatever has been to hard. It's not the schoolwork thats hard, its the soscial situations. He just has a hard time of it, understanding others and their soscial interaction. Since he got this kind of help he's got a whole new everyday life. I wouldn't trade it for the world

Teri - posted on 03/14/2009

Thank you all for you info.  I'm still trying to come to realization that my daughter is going to have to deal with this all of her life.  I always knew she was but I thought that she was just a little different.  It wasn't until she was older that I realized how different.  She has no interest in anything that girls of her age are doing.  She would rather watch Spongebob than talk about boys.  That is becoming a difficulty for her now with the other girls in her class. There are only 6 girls in this special  school that she is in now.  Four of the 6 are a year older so that makes it harder.  I just want her to be herself but at the same time I want her to fit in.  I know it's going to get worse before it gets better. 

Wanda - posted on 03/11/2009

My son who is now 16 was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 4. At that time, few had heard of Asperger's. He was on medication up until about 4 years ago. He had an IEP at school until 7th grade. He wasn't potty trained until he was 9. But the hardest thing through all of this is that he sometimes acted unusual and people didn't know how to understand him. It was hardest because he looked "normal". We went through some tough times with him when he was younger. Now that he's 16, he's learned to deal with his issues and has been able to inform people what Asperger's is about since he was 9. He's very intelligent when it comes to books, but he's commonsense dumb. He has an IQ of 111. Never studies for a test and drives the teachers crazy because he's always finishing his work and then lloking for something else to do.

I think it's going to get tough again soon here when we have to face driving, girlfriends, etc.

He makes friends easy enough, but they seldom hang around too long as kids seem to think of him as being excentric in ways. He likes things done a certain way and you have to be very precise when you tell him something ( you can't say in a minute, because he takes everything literally.) He has a few problems with social cues and boundaries, and doesn't look people in the eyes.

But just looking at him in a crowd, you could never pick him out from the others as having problems.

It was really difficult in the smaller town that I was living in as there were no support groups or anyone to talk to about it, no one had ever heard of it.

Michelle - posted on 03/10/2009

haha...are you in aus jessica? i also have a 12 yr old daughter with aspergers, and i also found that the whole I.E.P thing an interesting conversation and that was about it. as well as that, i too feel pretty well left to my own devices when it comes to dealing with the issues that crop up from time to time. we started seeing a psychologist a while ago, and although the lady is really nice, she hasn't been able to give me any concrete tactics to use with my daughter that we haven't already tried...(a shame considering it costs us $170 per one hour session!).



it has also been my experience that because my daughter is also fairly high functioning, although she has had a diagnosis since she was about 7, she holds it together really well at school and as such, i until recently (because i moved her to a different school) that the staff didn't really think there was anything wrong with her. i can't tell you the frustration that has caused....there were times my daughter was sitting at her desk, quietly hyperventilating with a panic attack and the @#$%$#@ teachers had no idea at all....'sorry, she seemed okay' was the best they could offer up. if your daughter gets a formal diagnosis, then she will qualify for some level of assistance....she is what she is and you need to advocate for her as you will more than likely come across others who will think less than positive things about the diagnosis. as well as that, what exactly does 'causing more problems than its worth' mean? how dare anyone say that to you....it is not a death sentence.....to me that implies that having aspergers is something to be ashamed of....or am i on the wrong track?

Jessica - posted on 03/10/2009

Hi my name is Jessica and I have a 12 yr old daughter that was diagnosed with Asperger's 4 yrs ago. She to is high fuctioning she gets straight A's in school and isn't in any special ed classes. She had an I.E.P ( individual education program) up until this year which really wasn't any help to be honest. It basically allowed her to have extra time to turn her homework in.Since she has been diagnosed nothing has really changed besides she has a label. I still feel just as much lost and alone with no answers or help.

Your daughter would qualify for help it's just the matter of the school district you are in and how much help that they can offer. Let me know how it goes and any ideas that they come up with