My son is 4 years old and still cannot have a conversation with me.

Melinda - posted on 11/16/2008 ( 32 moms have responded )

6

52

0

I feel awful for him because people are always asking him questions and he can't answer them back. He can't even tell me if he had a fun day at school or not when I ask him. He says words and loves to sing but I can't get him to open up more. He doesn't even like taking pictures. To get him to look at a camera is a mission. Can anyone help me or give me some advice. I don't want him to be out of place when he starts kindergarten next year.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rachel - posted on 08/27/2012

43

13

3

My son is the same way. He's three and doesn't talk for the most part. He will repeat me to no end but doesn't have very many personal thoughts at all. We had a speech woman coming for a while but that ended and they kid of dropped us even though they knew there was a prob. they have him starting preschool a week from now. So I'm hoping it helps or leads us to more help if it doesn't help with in it's self. If we are alone he will play all day with no prob. he watches cartoons and sings along but not once will out right ask me for anything. Every so often he will get a cup and give it to me or take it to the fridge. I get the point and ask him what he wants and he will say "milk" or "Juice" when I give it to him he says "thank you" So he can talk but it seems he's memorized my question and memorized to say "thank you" If my daughter is home or god forbid my husband be home it's automatically a bad day. Too many things to do on his own, to many things expected from him. I'm busy so he has to talk and well He can't. So instead of saying anything. Example today. He was watching my daughter play the wii. He was in a set and with out my knowledge she put the tray on him. So I hear him complaining, I yell in there "Carson come here" He gets really upset and starts crying. Not knowing he's stuck in there I call him again. Now he goes crazy... screaming and yelling. Now he can say "I'm stuck" or "Help me" or a number of other things though he won't.... I don't know why he won't. If I go in and say "Carson what do you need, he will say "Up" Or "Help" or something but that's the most I get.But that even takes me coming to him and asking what he needs. Sometimes I don't ask him I just say "Carson you need to say "Help please" and he says it and I let him out. But the same thing happens again the next time he needs something. I'm frustrated, confused and not sure what to do next. I've repeated what I need him to say Every time a situation arises and he's not getting it.

Worried - posted on 09/14/2012

1

0

0

Hi All moms,



Feel like you are telling about my 4 year old son. I am so worried about him. He can not have conversation like other kids. He says lots of words but can not initiate any conversation. I have to make excuses to the strangers.He is going full day preschool had speech therapy for 6 months starting again in next week. He is energetic, happy, likes taking pictures. Everyday praying for him to have a conversations with me. Just want to be average kid.

Just want to know how are your angels doing now. It will help me keep my hopes high.



Thanks much!

Natalie - posted on 08/20/2013

1

0

0

Hi everybody.i wish your children good luck.i have the problem with my son too.he is gonna be 4 in couple of months.he knows some words but rarely makes sentences.if he makes the sentence it might be short, for example "look at that".he is also bilingual and doesnt go to daycare yet.i just want to put him in daycare.hopefully it will help.when i gove him a questipn he responds shortly by saying yes or no.if he wants something he says one word e.g. Juice or milk. He likes to put together 40 piece wooden puzzles or look at the animal pictures in books but i still worried that he has never asked me a question at all and like i said if he makes a sentence it is 2 or maximum 3 words and he does it very seldom.please give me advice what you think.

Mary - posted on 08/28/2012

1

0

0

Melinda! My son is also 4 and he cannot have a conversation with me or anyone! It is so frustrating! I feel so sorry for him and also answer for him when other people ask him questions. He started pre-school and his teachers seem optimistic and say he will be ok with intervention and time. He has a speech therapist and an inclusion teacher which help him at school. I also wonder if Im the only one going thru this ordeal! He also just repeats words and cannot make sentences. but when he tries he sounds like gibberish! I ask him if he has fun at school and i think he is just repeating what i say and not knowing what it means because he started saying...."fun at school' recently. and i also get one word answers when hes thirsty he says milk or juice, when hes tired he says sleepy, when he has to go he says peepee! i try to make him elaborate by saying mama i have to go peepee or mama i want juice please. he just doesnt get it.

he also doesnt understand concepts and situations. his doctor says boys are slow! but what about

other boys his age that talk! they seem fine. I know how you feel! :(

Samantha - posted on 06/15/2012

4

0

2

Hi Melinda,

I hoping you can share how your child is doing now. My soon to be 4 year old is having the same problem with speech. Can you share your experience...what you did to help?

Thanks,

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

32 Comments

View replies by

Jodie - posted 2 days ago

3

0

1

Hey im a mom of 3 My oldest son is 3 and still can't have a conversation I'm worried for him he can say 100s of single words and started to say for example where's blankie or juice ect but if I ask him something he won't answer.and he will moan at the gate to the kitchen and I will say what do you want and he talks in his own lil language he is nearly potty trained but wont tell me when he needs to go.. he will just go but when im out he cant tell me so its difficult I thought I was the only one until I read all these comments has any one got any tips please

Julia - posted on 02/05/2014

1

0

0

HI Antoinette :) My sons the same age as your bubba!! He just turned 4yrs in December. He's been through speech therapy, early learning intervention and also his ears have been checked twice! And they are fine, he's had alot of ear infections when he was a Baby.. He can sayy sooooo many words! But he can't put them into sentances. The longest sentance he can say is "I want to watch a Movie". He started Kindergarten on Tuesday & the Teacher said it was hard for her to understand him, he's also easily distracted. I just want you all to know that nothing is wrong with youre child. Theyre only delayed in speech, have faith, they will start talking. My cousin didn't start talking till he was 9. My partners Friends Daughter started talking at 15. Long huh, and my Lil brother inlaw started talking at 6 or 7, he's 11 now. I hope my son learns more at Kindy..its good if theyre around Kids so they can pick up from them. My Daughter is 2 and seems like she will be delayed in her speech so Im taking her to play groups.. She can only say shoe, count to 3 and say ta-ta as iny Bye. She loves drawing and books. They will get there!! Once they start talking, youd think they were never delayed in their speech. :)

Antoinette - posted on 01/25/2013

1

0

0

My daughter is the same at 4 (turned Dec) we are getting ready to move across country but at soon as we do we will see a speech and language pathologist. She has improved a bit since preschool but still can not tell you what she did at school or if she had a good day. Fortunately she most of the times likes the camera and has a couple of years before I send her too school. I will pray your child starts to converse soon.

Kristi - posted on 11/24/2012

35

12

2

It's so hard. My son will be 3 1/2 in january and barely says anything. He's in ABA training at school which helps a lot but we still have a long way to go. I know what you mean, people always ask him in what his name is, if he's in school, how old he is, etc. And he NEVER answers them. He doesn't answer me most of the time. Argh. Are you doing speech therapy or anything for him?

I also blog about this on http://www.findingninee.com if you want more of Tucker's story...

Rachel - posted on 10/23/2012

43

13

3

My son is 3yrs old and we are having him evaluated by a develop mentalist in Nov. For him it's more than just the words. He can talk VERY well he doesn't seem to know how to use it. If I say "say Hi" he says "Say Hi" these days when he walks into a room in stead of saying just "Hi" he says "Say Hi Carson" So we're having a prob. with language just a little bit... We're not sure what is going to happen from here.. He's been in speech for a year, than went on to preschool at the schools and he has speech there everyday. Nothing seems to be working so far, he's talking more than he WAS but not by much.... He can't answer any question, he says "No" all the time but not only when it's the correct time but all the time. Very Frustrating..

Jiselle - posted on 05/10/2012

3

0

0

Hi Rebecca! My son have a Fatty Acid Oxidation Disorder. He was diagnose recently, and the only symptom that he had was the speech delay and lack of energy sometimes. The doctor (pediatric geneticist) prescribe carnitine and a multivitamin high in supplement b. Also the dietitian recommend a low fat, low sugar, lactose and colorant free diet. Is a very hard diet to follow, but the improvement has been so amazing that is worth the effort. I hope to hear more about you and your daughter. God bless you!!

Rebecca - posted on 05/03/2012

4

11

0

Jiselle, I am curious what disorder your son has as my daughter has one as well GA1 and I am having exactly the problems that are described. I am very interested to find out more.

Jiselle - posted on 03/19/2012

3

0

0

I just know how you feel. I have a 4 years old boy and he is exactly like yours. I find myself giving excuses to people or answering for him. Sometimes he answer but in a made up language that mix spanish and english and some gibberish. My husband and I have to play silly literally to make him look at the camera. People, especially "experts" have recommended autism evaluation, and we have done all. The thing is that he is also funny, sociable, caring and very smart. In our case, turns out, after a lot of evaluations and lab test, that my son have a metabolic disorder, that in some kids can affect the speech development. Now with a special diet and some multivitamin supplement, he have improve a lot!!! I hope that you already found an answer!

Chrissy - posted on 08/13/2011

12

24

2

have his ears checked again, it could be fluid in the ears which affects their hearing and therefore their speech I am going through that right now with my 2 year old

Dawn - posted on 02/11/2009

17

8

2

Thanks for the tips, April.  My son wanted a treat after school today.  I withheld it until he peed on the potty.  He was so proud of himself.  We sang "Kyle went pee pee on the potty".  Then the rest of the day he fought me every time I wanted to put him on the potty.  Sometimes he even tells me he has to use the potty.  Then when I put him on it, he doesn't do anything.  I guess you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!  I have always let him watch us go to the bathroom and he even plays potty with his stuffed animals, so he seems ready.  I don't know what the problem is.   He talks like he's excited about the new trains and underwear I promised him when he's potty trained.  I'm going to try the M & M idea to lure him onto the potty.   

TANGELLA - posted on 02/11/2009

3

14

0

I understand your concern. My 2 year old son has a speech delay, but I think for the most part, he may be a bit stubborn, because he says words when he wants to. The problem is that the words are limited and not conversational. We are in the state of Florida, and after an evaluation, my son was deemed eligible for speech therapy through the school system's Early Intervention Program. A therapist will come out to our home to meet with him weekly. Look into it and good luck.

Pam - posted on 02/11/2009

4

24

0

i have a 4 year old son who is just starting conversions, they are still limited and hard to understand at times. He uses makaton sign language to help him communicate and has gained a great deal from that. When he started nursery, i was  very worried that nobody would understand him and he would be very upset. But as it turns out it actually helped and he is now getting on alot better and can speak alot more. So i no its worrying but try not to worry too much as it might not be as bad as you thinking.

April - posted on 02/09/2009

29

17

7

My daughter who is almost 4 yrs old has been seeing a speech therapist for almost a year now, we have our ups and downs.  a major down was she had to have her tonsils out in November which set up back ALOT.  But I think we our on the right track again.  We didn't push the potty thing too much, (for any of our kids we have 4 and only 1 in diapers still).  But we always let them in when we were going to the bathroom, so they could get use to the bathroom being for somthing other than showers/bath and brushing teeth.  then we left the little potty in there and encouraged sitting on it when we were going..  then we did the every time you try you get 1 m&m and if she went she got 2 m&m's and then if she pooped she got ice cream, even if it was 8am..  then after about 4-6 months she was going regularly so we started backing off the m&m's and then finally we backed off the ice cream..  it just take more time i think.



 



hope that helps.

Dawn - posted on 02/06/2009

17

8

2

I also put my son in this program.  It worked wonders.  My son is 4 and is just starting to have conversations with me.  He is doing great in his ECDD preschool.  He used to have temper tantrums because he was so frustrated that he couldn't communicate.  We taught him some simple signs for food, drink, more, all done, etc. and that helped tremendously.



My problem now is I can't get him potty trained.  I tried sitting, standing, offering rewards.  I even rented a book from the library.  Any suggestions?  Any other late talkers that were slow to potty train?  My husband thinks because he was delayed in speech, he'll be delayed in other areas.  He is behind in throwing, catching a ball, behaving in public, etc. 



 

Melinda - posted on 02/04/2009

6

52

0

Samantha thank you so much for your encouraging words. I just did an MRI on my son and Thank God everything came back normal. He just took a 6 hour EEG test and I don't get the results back until next week but I am keeping my fingers crossed. That will determine if he has epilepsy or silent seizures in his brain. I am hoping they are neither. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Samantha - posted on 02/04/2009

1

11

0

My son is 3 1/2 and is a late talker, he also is not fond of taking pictures. The Drs. told us from the time he was an infant that he had low muscle tone. They say that was one of the reasons for late talking. Harder to form words w/low tone. We had physical therapy work with him due to his weak ankles and a speach therapist work with him on his speach. He would never make any sounds for the speach therapist. They said he was the most quiet kid they had ever seen. When he turned 3 we have put him in the special state funded preschool for kids that have delays and it has helped him tremendously. He has started saying 2 or 3 words together now like Grampa's truck, Sponge Bob, what is that?, baseball. The teachers have noticed a HUGE improvement with him since he started last fall. He has even started to color, which before you couldn't even get him to write a line on a paper. We took him to the developmental pediatrician and had blood test ran, and a MRI..they found nothing. We also had his hearing tested and it's fine. The developemental pediatrician said that he cannot find anything wrong with him and that he would eventually start talking and catch up. So, I say try not to worry..it may seem something is wrong when maybe they are just taking their sweet time. And the more interaction they can get with other kids their age the better. I can't even believe the strides we have come since the beginning of preschool. I think it is the best thing we could have asked for. If your son is not in preschool, check with the state and see if they have any programs in place for delayed children. It's hard because everyone wants their children to be the top of the class and everything perfect..but hang in there..there is a reason they aren't talking yet. God has big plans for them!

Julie - posted on 12/03/2008

3

8

1

My daughter is 4, and just recently started having conversations. Unless you are with her on a constant basis, she is difficult to understand. She has however, gotten a lot better within the last 6 months. Speech therapy is wonderful, so is socialization. She has a 2 year old sister who is not a late talker, and that seems to help a lot too. Hang in there and don't let anyone convince you of anything that you know in your heart isn't true about your little boy.

Heather - posted on 12/02/2008

27

20

5

Hello. I am a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) and mom of 3 late talkers. I suggest you see a SLP as soon as possible, they can give you lots of suggestions to help you and your child. Is he involved in any activities with children his age? That also helps. Have you tried using pictures to help him communicate? You could have pictures of what he does at school and then maybe he could show you what he did using the pictures. I hope this helps.

Melissa - posted on 12/01/2008

11

8

1

When my son didn't even babble at almost a year old, my heart sank...I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking that he would just check up. He just turned 5 this past September, and is talking up a storm now. I think a lot of the time they talk less in public is because they feel like they can't express themselves how they would like to. My son is still behind his classmates at school, but has managed to fit it quite well! He's made several friends, and loves going there everyday. I think even since he has started school (last year, since we're canadian) it has helped him out sooo much. I think you will be surprised how well things will go for him year!

Melinda - posted on 11/25/2008

6

52

0

Thank you all for those of you whom have responded to my posting. All of your words are so encouraging. It makes me feel great to know that I am not the only one who is going thru this situation. We just want the best our kids, but sometimes the parents need a little boost and encouragement to make them feel better.

Brenda - posted on 11/25/2008

2

4

0

Melinda: I live in Metro Detroit area, and my son is 2 1/2 now. He was just evaluated by a Speech Pathologist/Therapist from the Early On Program in Macomb County. They said he was qualified to have free speech therapy every week for a year, and also physical therapy. Then after 1 year he is re-evaluated, and if he qualifies, he will get free preschool (1/2 days) for next Fall. He has had about 2 months of therapy and already he is talking so much more! They and I both found out that he knows how to talk, he's just being a little shy (and lazy) and needs a little encouragement. I'm helping him at home as well with the techniques they give me. Check out your local school district and get that evaluation like we did! Good luck!

Stacy - posted on 11/23/2008

8

20

3

Have you considered having him evaluated by a speech-language pathologist? If you live in the US you can contact your local school district & ask for a free evaluation. If he qualifies for support he may also qualify for a free language based preschool program (depends on where you live & the dept. of ed. for your state).

Melinda - posted on 11/17/2008

6

52

0

I am hoping that one day he will open up to me as well. Thank you for responding back to my posting. Every bit of encouragement counts.

[deleted account]

My daughter was the same way, except that she loved to take pictures. her conversations were limited. i always had to ask her or beg her to tell me about something she did. after she started school, she opened up a lot more. where we live school is mandatory at 3 years old. she's 5 now, and she's much more vocal then she used to be. i still have to ask her what she did in school, but now she talks to me about it instead of not answering at all.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms