Anybody else hate seeing "heavy pregnant" bellies?

Anna - posted on 01/22/2010

Yes I know how you feel I was in tears for what seemed like months after my first pregnancy ended at 26 weeks, I loved being pregnant and felt I'd missed out on so much not being able to go full term or have a natural birth! Then came the blame, how I must have done something wrong for it to turn out like this. It was infuriating having to walk out of the NICU past all the heavily pregnant mothers smoking away by the door! But it did get easier and like my younger (and wiser) sister told me a natural birth is not all it's cracked up to be, plus no stretch marks have to be a silver lining!

Kelsey - posted on 01/22/2010

I cried over a friends belly picture since she was due the day after me and my son came 6 weeks early! I didn't have the typical huge belly with my daughter and was really hoping for it when i got pregnant with my son! I guess he had other plans and it helps when i just think that i had and easier time getting rid of some baby weight...a little but i really want my belly back

Victoria - posted on 01/18/2010

You are not alone!!! My premmie is now 7 1/2 months old and I nearly yelled at a big pregnant belly girl at the shops 2 days ago for smoking!! Can you imaging the steam that was coming out of the ears!!!! She will probably go on to have a "normal"birth and health gestational age and weight baby.. Also when I was in the NICU with other prem mothers would have this same converstation(in the expressing room) and when we had to go down stairs to leave the hospital the antenatal clinic is there and we would admit to eachother how the jealousy would consume us :(

Heather - posted on 01/17/2010

It broke my heart not to get to carry my son full term or go through labor. Still bothers me, but less. Thanks for posting, all of you. It is good not to be alone.

Cassandra - posted on 01/15/2010

Hey girls. Firstly congrats to you all for getting through one of the hardest times in our lives - a baby in NICU for many weeks. There is a common feeling here. It is hard to swallow when you hear about other mums-to-be complaining about being heavily preggers when many of us were robbed of the last two months of our pregnancies. I get angry at the comment "you didn't really have a HARD or PROPER labor because your baby was so small" - people like that have no idea how heart breaking it is to see your baby in NICU for weeks and weeks on end, and what you have to go through to cope - a labor that lasted 48 hours would be a welcome alternative to many of us, so long as the baby was healthy and arrived full term, I guarantee.
Try not to let pregnant bellies or stupid comments upset us - we are a privileged few that understand how precious life is and would never take it for granted like many woman do. I envy us, not them.

Kacelyn - posted on 01/15/2010

I still get upset also. My best friend was pregnant at the same time I was, she was actually due a month before me. I would get so jealous seeing big bellies, especially hers because she was not careful at all. I had given birth at 23 weeks, I was only 5 months. My friend also went into preterm labor, but they were able to hold her off and when she was told to stay on bed rest she would not, and I had went into preterm labor because of toxoplasmosis and she would be cleaning out her liter box. I would catch mysefl staring at pregnant girls. I would get very upset and tried living the rest of my pregnancy through her.

Kelly - posted on 01/15/2010

I feel the same way! Right now my cousin is 7 months pregnant with a big ole belly and i am so jealous. My fiance and I have even said to fully pregnant woman about how we felt slighted and all they say is "oh your not missing anything fun" etc....but I am missing the experience of being pregnant and feeling life. My daughter came at 24 weeks and I had just started feeling her (felt like muscle twitches). It does still make me want to cry also because I dont know that I ever will experience being fully pregnant. Boo this body!

Alda - posted on 01/15/2010

I loved being pregnant, I really did. And with a twin pregnancy you just look fat for the first while. I had just started looking pregnant, not fat, when my girls arrived at 28 weeks. I feel almost cheated out of showing off my bump. I would much rather have had the stretchmarks and discomfort over NEC, stomas, heart surgery, 4 months travelling 1 1/2 hours to hospital every day to visit them etc. Mothers of full-term babies who complain don't have a clue.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2010

Erin...I was exactly the same. I had a tiny belly, and my daughter was 5 weeks early, born feb 08, and its still makes me feel like I never got to go the full hog...lol. Everytime I see a big pregnant belly It makes me feel like I wasnt able to give birth to a full time baby. After 2 yrs I still look at pregnant bellies and wish I was there again. its a wonderful experience and to have it taken away too soon is like we never got to experience it all...Mums always say...'oh you were so lucky to have a small baby'...well actually smaller babies are harder to push out then heavier babies...If other people cant give us merit for going through the hard times and not realising that our babies spent time in NICU (which was the hardest part of our lives) then we'll just have to give each other support....

Ashleigh - posted on 01/14/2010

no absolutely not. Granted my little boy was born at 34 weeks so I had a little more time but i still get sad seeing heavily pregnant women out and about. my little boy is doing wonderfully but I really wish i could've carried full term and got to have the whole experience. Max is only my first so hoping my next goes better. I loved being pregnant! I only started to get a decent sized belly at about 6 months and then just under 2 months later Max arrived!

Heather - posted on 01/14/2010

Oh my goodness just last night I saw that same picture of the boy kissing the big pregnant belly and it made my eyes water! I can relate because I also had a 26 weeker in Nov. 2008. I still can't watch anything on tv about pregnant women. I can't say it'll get better but I can let you know that you aren't alone in this.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2010

I understand completely...my second child was a preemie, but my first was overdue. I felt I was robbed of the whole big belly the second time...and the bellybutton "popping out" like it did with my first. But I am thankful to have my wonderful boys.

Emilie - posted on 01/09/2010

It's easier now than it used to be (my son is 4 1/2), but I still look away or leave the room if I can. I went in to the hospital at 22 weeks and delivered at 26. Even the perinatal ward nurses commented on how I didn't look pregnant. Seeing those big bellies brings to mind everything I missed - and those months in the hospital. I have explained to pregnant friends (there have been plenty of those) that I am happy to talk about their babies (and I am), but not to take it personally if I start crying or just need to walk away sometimes. It is part of the grieving process. It's normal and healthy - and I just can't help it. As I said, it is getting easier.

Josette - posted on 01/08/2010

You are not alone. My son was born at 27 weeks, is now 7 years old and it still bothers me to see full term pregnant bellies. I also have a 3 year old, he was 3 weeks early but I enjoyed every minute of being pregnant with him since I didnt get that with my first son and I was a nervous wreak the entire time thinking I would have him preterm. It really bothers me when women complain about being pregnant and just cant wait to get that baby out of them. I cant help but saying to them be happy you didnt have a 27 weeker and enjoy being pregnant cuz your very lucky!

Robin - posted on 01/07/2010

Yeah I feel that way sometimes too. Especially when those women with big huge bellies start moaning and complaining about how awful those last couple months are and they wish the baby would come now. I know every pregnant woman has a right to complain about all the sucky parts of being pregnant, but it is just hard when all you wish is that you could have made it that far. I have had 2 preemies and would have done anything I could to stay pregnant for those last couple of months, and I promise it is worse to have a baby in the nicu then being pregnant. I wish I didn't feel resentful sometimes but I can't help it.

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010

I feel the same way. I found out I was pregnant at 26 weeks and wasn't showing, then delivered at 30 weeks...talk about feeling cheated! I didn't get to really enjoy being pregnant but for 28 days...well, less than that since I was hospitalized several days b/f her birth.

Erin - posted on 01/07/2010

Wow! I thought I was the only one bothered by this. I loved pregnancy. It took me till i was 6 1/2 months for people to even realize I was pregnant. Then two months later I had my baby. He was 5 weeks early and I never got the chance to feel like I had a "big" belly. In fact, after I had my little boy, I had the baby blues over that whole concept. I just remind myself that I will get pregnant again someday and hopefully get that big belly:)

Delaney - posted on 01/01/2010

hmm yeah i get this totally

Courtney - posted on 12/31/2009

It bothers me too because I never got that far.

Julie - posted on 12/31/2009

"124 months " should be 124 days (~4 months) ... he's not even 24 months old yet! I hope it stops bothering me by the time he's 10 years old!

Angelica - posted on 12/30/2009

it bothers me too...

Monika - posted on 12/27/2009

You aren't alone, that bothers me, too. :(

Julie - posted on 12/27/2009

Quoting Stacey:

No you are not the only person who get upset. Both my kids were born early and I never got to have a big belly with them. My last son was also a 26 weeker born Dec 08 and is doing very well. I hate hearing women complain that they are big, want the baby out, etc... I have never had a full term baby and wish I could have had a big beautiful belly.

I was pretty certain I was going to smack my neighbor if she made one more comment about how I had "gotten out of hard labor"! 

Driving up to the NICU ~1 hour away for 124 months is a hard labor in and of itself!

Amy - posted on 12/26/2009

No, it makes me really sad too. It reminds me of all of the bad feelings associated with my son's early birth. *hugs* I don't know how to get through it either.

Stacey - posted on 12/23/2009

No you are not the only person who get upset. Both my kids were born early and I never got to have a big belly with them. My last son was also a 26 weeker born Dec 08 and is doing very well. I hate hearing women complain that they are big, want the baby out, etc... I have never had a full term baby and wish I could have had a big beautiful belly.