feeling robbed

Krystal - posted on 03/22/2010

Hey don't feel that way the most important thing is he's alive & he's gettin healthier. I thought i was robbed from alot of things w/ my son but nothing compared to you. Your verry strong & you sound like a wonderful mother and there's not alot of them out there anymore except for on this. Everything will be fine & in the end his healthiness is what matters the most & it will make u the happiest than enjoying milestones. Trust me I no it for a fact. My son will be 5 in May & still has barely put on weight. He weighs 27 lbs most 2 & 3 year olds weigh more than that & the Dr's are just now doing something about it after all these years of fightin. So just stay strong things will get better. Just keep being as strong as you can. I'll pray for ya.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/21/2010

All I can say is Love him all the time, and you are doing that very well. I can't sympathize, as we've been very lucky with our preemie. Stay strong, b/c i've seen some miracles happen, and then the mom's are rushing to keep up :). Our DD was 6 weeks early, we were told she would be developmentally delayed, have learning difficulties etc.... At her 1 year check up we had a new Dr (same office) who looked at her b-day on her chart and nothing else. I was told she was advanced, but he tried to diagnose her as failure to thrive (she was only 16 LBS). He was dumb struck. Now at almost 3, her current Dr said her development is closer to a 4yo. So a preemie mom I'm lucky.... however its my full term babies that have the health/learning issues....Life is puzzling. ((HUGS)) to you Mama for taking great care of your son. To all the Moms here thanks for being here for each other and all (y)our babies.

Tabitha - posted on 03/21/2010

Nikki-Logan has a floppy airway and chronic lung disease, thats the need for the trach and vent. You all are such strong women and so kind to take time out of your busy days to make me feel better!!! Thank you!!!!

Tabitha - posted on 03/19/2010

Yes I too felt the same way, feeling ripped off in many ways...around the time our girls were in neonates.They arrived at 24wks gest.
But now, near 10yrs on...there's no way we were ripped off, yet doubley blessed that our babes made it, & we have so much more trials & tribulations to share in the many years to come! Find the positives in it...they are there;) Never doubt yourself either...you have the most important job in the world! Namaste*

Andrea - posted on 03/18/2010

Sometimes the longest roads are the hardest but the most rewarding!!! It is diffenitly a long road with preemies. My DD is about to turn two and while she doing really well she still has some problems. At times it does seem like a never ending things to have to deal with but I've learned the easiest way to make a long road shorter is to look at the bright spots along the way. The things that warm your heart, the first twinkle in their eyes and their first smile. When you give them food for the first time and their lil faces they pull, their first kiss they give you and the first hug. These things and much more a given and blessed to be able to see, with preemie Moms and Dads it is a extra blessing because we know the long road that they have been through and a new meaning is giving to every little thing. I do feel robbed of the experences of being full blown pregant, having a normal birth, and being able to enjoy my DD as a baby and not worry her health or other preemie related setbacks. Hang in there, keep up the good work you are doing and remember to take care of yourself as well...

Nikki - posted on 03/18/2010

Seems you have it quite difficult , why is your son still on a ventilator if you don't mind me asking? I just feel bad for you both as I know how hard it is in every regard. My son was ten weeks early and in intensive care for 3 months . He came home with a heart monitor but that's all . Did the doctors say he will outgrow his preemie issues or are they long term? I will pray for you and Logan and hang in there , with time you do adjust :) God bless you...

Valerie - posted on 03/17/2010

Tabitha, you are a completely normal Mom of a preemie. :) I have kept in touch with a few of my hospital bedrest/NICU moms and, to be honest, we all had a rough time emotionally around the 1 year mark. You are doing great!

Orissa - posted on 03/15/2010

I feel kinda robed of what it was like to have a big belley and for people to coo over me durring my pregnacy, but I look at my little girl and know that she is healthy and it is all worth it. She was born at 34 weeks and we stayed in the nicu for 2 weeks but she is healthy and I thank god for that you all are great mothers and please don't forget that.

JessieRaye - posted on 03/14/2010

My son Dawson was 26 wk term. 1lb 15 oz. He has a programmable shunt placed in his brain that help him with his extra spinal fluid. He was diagnoised with Cerabal palsy when he was about 1 1/2. I feel sad when he is with his cousin that was born on his due date. when i see her i am happy for to see she is doing well but I cant help but feel robbed that Dawson should be at her milestones. Then I look at how many goals he has meet that the doctors thought he would not. Slow steady progress is his motto. As long as they make there milestones everything will work out in the end. Just enjoy and love every inch of them.

Monicquea - posted on 03/11/2010

I definitely feel your pain. My daughter was born 3 months early and weighed 1lb 3oz. Every last one of her cousins were all full term, "healthy" babies and pregnancies. I've often felt robbed and less of a "woman" for not having been able to carry to term. I also find myself not having anyone to relate to my situation. My daughter is now 14 months and sometimes I still cry and feel guilty. But at the end of the day I know that I have been blessed and above all my daughter is alive. Just know that the pain and thoughts will never fully go away but it gets easier. It also helps me to have somewhere to talk and give advice, such as Circle of Moms.

Pip - posted on 03/11/2010

You have had a rough trot. It sounds like things are incredibly isolating for you too. Have a read of a post 'If you have a preemie, you should read this' by Mary Lynn-Jones. It's in this section 'moms of preemies'. I found it encouraging and empowering. Maybe it might do the same for you. Best of Luck :)

Tiffany - posted on 03/11/2010

Hang in there! Your obviously doing a great job and have great patience. Kudos to you! :)

Tabitha - posted on 03/10/2010

thanks for your feedback! i live in a small town and this stuff doesnt happen that often! it's nice to know im not the only one that feels this way! i wouldnt trade my son for anything, but its just not the way i imagined it would be! thanks again!

Jesse - posted on 03/10/2010

wow.... thats so hard!!!!! My first son was 3 months early and in the hospital for 9 weeks we lost him one week before his due date... I know that feeling of being robbed real well! My second son was born 2 and a half months early and he is currently on oxygen and a heart monitor.... Im gonna pray for you and it sounds like you are a very strong woman and most of all a very strong mom..... Best of luck to you and your little one... God bless your family!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 03/10/2010

hey!! i really don't know about those extremes, but i know that i had to make a lot of sacrifices with my son who was 6 weeks preemie and on a heart monitor. i was stressed and freaked out bc his monitor was going off all the time!! but i sympathize with u in an awefounded way bc of how strong u would have to be to care for son! i don't really know wat else to say except for it sounds like ur doing fine and ur son is more important and worth sacrificing everything for as im sure u already know. everything happens for a reason!!