How can i get past kids sayin nasty things about my daughter who is a amputee

Tamika - posted on 05/27/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter was born at 23 weeks weighing 1pd 3.9 ounces. Because she kept pulling her IV out the hospital staff tied her arm down with the IV in her wrist which resulted in a blood clot in her wrist. They could not give her blood thinner bein that she wuz a preemie so they just let the hand basically die off then later amputated her left hand. She is 9 years old and get upset when people star and when kids say thats so nasty or eeeww and things of that sort. Sometimes i wanna blow up at them but they cant help if they were not brought up the right way. I just get so angry

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Ellena - posted on 05/29/2009

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If she is having trouble at school maybe you could ask the teacher if you and your daughter can explain why this has occured and help the children understand, children usually point and make fun of things they don't understand or something that scares them...if you can get her classmates to understand hopefully they will stick up for her and explain to others and this may actually make her more popular? worth a go i knew a child at school who had chemo for cancer and he told his classmates what was happening to him and why he lost his hair and they actually were very interested in his story, any thing is worth a go if it could help your daughter to be accepted. good luck your little one is a fighter she has done amazing things already!

Jennifer - posted on 05/27/2009

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When I had a little girl who was deaf as my foster daughter for two years we had several instances where I can totally identify with your feelings. A very good friend of mines son would be so rude to my daughter, intentionally leave her out of things, etc. "because she can't hear me". I would get so angry with him and his mother! I would find a way to demonstrate to him something special she could do, something that made other kids go "cool". Like she was really good at gymnastics. Also there are lots of peer groups, or clubs of sort for kids with thier specific differances. We would go to all sorts of deaf events with her so she could also be around kids just like her. Maybe you could find some other amputees in the area and set up some playdates. Try to keep in mind though that above all your daughter will reflect your attitude in dealing with the kids, it puts a lot on our shoulders as Moms but it is the truth. When I reflected acceptance of my friends sons behavior as a bad attitude, but one that was his and not ours, I saw her find ways of getting along with out being crushed. Hopefully your daughter will soon realize her own specialness and grow out of caring what others think about her. You might also look into some of the girl power programs out there right now.

Jeannette - posted on 05/27/2009

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My former sister in law is an amputee. She had only half of a right leg and all of the left. The way she seemed to handle it was to make fun of herself, or color the 'cast' or wear shorts so kids could see it and ask and she would provide answers; in this way, they all got used to it.We lived in the country where farming accidents were a regular thing, so she never shocked or 'grossed' anyone out. I agree with you, the kids can't help it if they were not brought up this way. Maybe there is a talent she has that can steer kids away from her disability and see her as-what they would term 'normal'? Sharpen the skills she does have, so the loss becomes a minor thing. Try to boost her up when you're together, so to her, it also becomes not a big deal. I am just giving ideas. I am sorry for her. Children and some adults can be very very mean, but she doesn't have to be mean back.

Stephanie - posted on 05/27/2009

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How awful is that!!!!!!!!! you think nowadays parents would talk to their kids and let them know what is appropriate and waht is not!!!! My kids were also preemies and kids(and some adults) say comments about my son who is very speesch delayed and i hear them, sometimes i may take the time to explain it and sometimes im not in the mood. My other son got a really bad IV infilteration on his left ankle, he almost lost his foot, he's one and it just looks like a big dent on his ankle..... Just let her know she's a special child who has come a LONG way, and she should be proud of her self!!!!!! and not to listen to ignorant pepole!!

Rebecca - posted on 05/27/2009

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wow..a 23 weeker! my goodness, what a survivor you have!

im sorry for kids being cruel....there's always something about everyone that kids find to make fun of(amputation, glasses, braces, wheelchair, pimples, bad haircut, etc.). i can only hope your daughter can find some good comebacks for the rude people who say things to her. if they say something to her in front of you and she doesn't know what to say, you could always try to educate the kid/adult who says something. just explain really briefly what happened. or that some people have medical issues and that it's rude to make fun.

anyway, im sorry your daughter has to deal with rude kids.

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