How did you handle the stress of your preemie being in the NICU?

Ami - posted on 09/07/2012

my daughter was born at 33 wks weighing at 3lbs and 15 oz she was in the nicu for 3 wks. i didnt take it that well because my daughter would sometimes stop breathing in her sleep or when she ate.she also sometimes would choke when she ate. shes home now and still chokes sometimes. and i cant tell the difference from a choke and a cough yet. also when we fed her the damn monitor would always go off. freaked me out. plus i was in the hospital for 4 wks prior to that trying to keep her in. so i had a hell of a time with my preemie. its not easy and i cant say it gets better neither because mine is diagnose with spine deformity so i have doctors coming out the ears. but all i can say is take it one step at a time and hope for the best and be glad she makes it day by day. im very grateful my daughter survived thru all of what i went thru and very blessed that shes here. :)

Christina - posted on 07/21/2012

Hello,
I went in on a Wednesday for ultrasound, the doctor came in and said we are taking the twins within 24 hours due to growth restriction. I FREAKED! Little did I know anything about the NICU or csection experience. We went in on Thursday (35 weeks gestation) had two precious babies by 815AM. They went to the NICU-scary right.....I asked all kinds of questions, what is that, what is this, why is the monitors going off-I bet they were annoyed by me however they knew what they were doing and tried to help me understand every step of the way. I agree with Megan-trust the staff they know what they are doing. I hated going home leaving them there but I had to convince myself that they are nurses they will do what it takes to get the babies home. I had to convince myself they were better at this point here on the outside than the inside. Babies were home within 2 weeks in which was the longest two weeks of our lives BUT they are doing so good! My son had acid reflux doc put him on Prevacid baby girl was fine just took her longer to come home. They are now 14 months old and just the miracles of our lives!! :) Just keep positive and your precious baby will be fine!! :) Best of luck and enjoy every minute of your baby girl...
Christina

Mollie - posted on 07/01/2012

Hi Yvette,

It is SO stressful to have a premie! In my opinion, it's one of the MOST stressful things a person can go through. I had my daughter at 32 weeks, and I found it really traumatising to be sent home while she was still in the hospital. My husband went back to work because he wanted to wait till she was home to take time off, but I hadn't yet converted to a UK driver's licence so couldn't drive myself to the hospital and therefore spent an hour commiting to the hospital every morning. I wanted to be able to breastfeed her when she was ready/big enough to do so, so I needed to be pumping milk, in theory, every couple hours, but I couldn't stick to the correct schedule with my routine & hospital commute.... Every time I missed one of her feedings or was slightly later than I'd hoped to arrive at hospital, I would dissolve in tears (usually ON the bus, in front of everyone)..... Everything about it was hard.

My advice is to get a little help, if you can, from a very supportive family member or close friend. If they can take care of some things around the house for you or spend time with you at the hospital, or do whatever you feel like you need, it will help you to relax as much as possible and take care of yourself (your mental & physical wellbeing are SO important at this time) so that you can take good care of your little one when it's time. Get to know other mommies of babies in the NICU; they can probably understand better than anyone what you're going through, and just sharing your stories can help relieve some of the stress.

Also, you need to do 2 other things:
1) Grieve. Even though you and your babe are going to be fine, your pregnancy has been unexpectedly interrupted. It hasn't gone the way you probably imagined or hoped, and this implies broken dreams of some sort. Despite the joy associated with your new arrival, it can be hard to accept the loss of the last weeks of your pregnancy. Allow yourself time to acknowledge those very valid feelings.

2) Rejoice. As hard as all this is, the good news is that your precious and long-awaited bundle of joy is here. Do something to celebrate her arrival -- display cards or gifts somewhere where you'll enjoy looking at them -- and maybe bring a soft toy or something to decorate her NICU bed, if allowed. Enjoy every moment of quiet that you get with her, and remind yourself that it's her presence, not the way she arrived, that is important.

Finally, I just want to tell you that, although I know it may not be a huge comfort now to hear that in 2 yrs or so, you won't be able to tell she was ever a premie (2 years seems an impossibly long time when your baby is days or weeks old), but it really does get easier and better with time. My daughter is now 3 1/2 yrs old. She is an ACTIVE, intelligent little spitfire, and healthy as can be. Honestly, by the time she was one, she pretty much looked the size of an average 1-yr old. This premie period is going to fly by, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Record as much info as you can, so you'll be able to remember all the details later, to tell her about the very special start she had, with all the special care, etc.

Oh yeah, this is my other advice: do ask questions of the medical staff. If something doesn't seem right, question it, even if it means going over someone's head to get all the information needed (as an example, we had been told that kangaroo care is SO important for the wellbeing of premies -- and their parents -- but there were certain nurses who, every time they saw us stripping her down to her nappy to cuddle her inside our shirts, would tell us that we needed to put her back in bed, that she would get too cold that way.... The nurses who knew what they were talking about knew that actually, she would be a lot warmer, calmer, happier snuggled up to us than anywhere else, but we had to fight off a few of the other ones to be able to continue doing it sometimes). Just talk to as many doctors as possible, find out as much info as possible, and push for what you know your baby needs.

Hugs,
Mollie

Sweetgirlsmama - posted on 06/29/2012

We were in the NICU for 72 days. The way I delt with the stress was becoming a very active part in her care. Whatever the nurses let me do, i did it. I felt that i could not do anything else for her. I started with diaper changing and bathing, then changing out probes and stuff, then changing bedding, and then graduated to unhooking everyting to take her out and feed her. I also talked to her and read to her, i decorated her isolette and dressed her up in the cutest little diaper shirts. It became my second home and in the meanwhile i made some really good friends and it became a very positive place for me to be. Good luck.

Megan - posted on 06/26/2012

Good morning Yvette,

I had my son in 2010 at 36 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. I was also on Magnesium for 3 days after delivery to keep from having seizures. Talk about stress - at 3 lbs 14 oz, little boy was in the NICU and I couldnt even see him! Being on the Magnesium, I was forbidden to get out of the bed. I had lots of visitors come to see our new baby. I felt very alone, and cried my eyes out several times becuase I was left in a scary hospital room by my self while my boyfriend took our visitors to the NICU.

The only way I was able to keep my head up was knowing the wonderful NICU staff was there taking the best care of my baby. Once I was able to see him, I got to help take care of him. Leaving the hospital without our boy was even worse. But after a long two weeks, he came home healthy and strong.

I don't have any advise other then to trust the staff and know they are doing everything they can to keep your baby alive and well. I now have a 2 1/2 year old toddler, that you never would guess was born at 3 lbs. Although he is small for his age, he talks up a storm, runs around with no fear, and has never been sick a day in his life.

Take it one day at a time, and know your baby is being taken care of by people who have devoted their lives to these little infants.

I wish you the best of luck, and many, many years of happiness!

-Megan