How do you cope with strangers insensitivity?

Christie - posted on 12/29/2012

I'm sorry to hear of people's in sensitivities! I get these comments all the time, it just becomes so rediculous and hurtfull! My son was born at 24 weeks and has many problems. Has spent the vast majority of life in the hospital , but when he is out people are so cruel! My son jamin is 2 years and 2 months old we weights 12.9 lbs and is 26 inches long! He has many tubes and lines all to keep him alive! His diagnoses are hydrocephalus shunt dependent, seziures, blind, deaf, oxygen dependent, he has a broviac line(central line) for TPN, he has a GJ feeding tube J feed and G hooked up to a drain system because of sever reflux, PDA/POD, NEC with ostimy bag now only 50% of intestine left, bilateral spastic cerebral palsey, hip displaysia, apnea
So we carry oxygen tank, feeding pump, IV bags, ostimy bags, drain cups, and of course monitors alot of equipment!
The worst comment happened the other day at one of my child skating lessons, a lady looked in the infant carrier tsked and sat down beside the seat, I looked down at one of my other children and said lets go upstairs to the warm viewing area! The lady promptly looked at me and said yes take that thing out of here I don't need to see that thing anymore how can you take it out into public?
I was just appalled, I can normally handle the staires and remarks and questions even though many are insensitive but this one put me into tears right away and I could not handle it! I walked away! I heard a few other ladies who I know repramend the lady as I walked away but still that was painful!

Kerry - posted on 10/28/2012

As awful as this may sound, I'm so glad I'm not the only one to get these remarks! I'm also very sorry that I'm only reading these now, I couldn't get logged back in, and my Blackberry has just notified me of a comment.

Michelle - posted on 10/28/2012

Some people have the secitivity of a door knob. I was on the bus a few months back with my son and we were heading to this therapy appointment, my son has Aspergers, and had over heard these kids in the back of the bus call another kid an insencitive prick, so Henry starts saying the word over and over, after I finally get him to stop and tell him what we don't say that he asks me what an insencitive prick is. I see this woman staring at us and ask her if there is a problem, my son has aspergers and sometimes repeats things he hears. The woman then says to me, I'm so sorry your son is retarted. I looked at my son and pointed at the woman and told him that is what an insencitive prick looks like. The look on the woman's face was priceless. I later had to tell son that I was wrong, and that it meant that it was people that said mean things.

But hoy did it feel good to lash back!

Michelle - posted on 10/28/2012

Some people have the secitivity of a door knob. I was on the bus a few months back with my son and we were heading to this therapy appointment, my son has Aspergers, and had over heard these kids in the back of the bus call another kid an insencitive prick, so Henry starts saying the word over and over, after I finally get him to stop and tell him what we don't say that he asks me what an insencitive prick is. I see this woman staring at us and ask her if there is a problem, my son has aspergers and sometimes repeats things he hears. The woman then says to me, I'm so sorry your son is retarted. I looked at my son and pointed at the woman and told him that is what an insencitive prick looks like. The look on the woman's face was priceless. I later had to tell son that I was wrong, and that it meant that it was people that said mean things.

But hoy did it feel good to lash back!

Susan - posted on 10/02/2012

*HUGS* What a horrible thing to say to you! Your baby is a wonderful human being, so please ignore jerks like that. If people ask, maybe just say he needs the extra oxygen because he was born premature and decline to answer any other questions?



My older daughter has an hemangioma on her scalp, just by the hairline at the front. Until her hair grew over it, it drew a lot of stares. It was dark red and swollen looking. It was stared at, and a few people gave me dirty looks, as though this was something I had done to her. I just patiently explained it was a birth mark and then we moved away from the people.



BTW, my SIL gets an insensitive jerk prize, too. She called me after I had a second trimester m/c and told me that my husband and I were making too big a deal out of it, that she'd had a m/c, and had gone on to have two healthy children. I pointed out that out of 3 pregnancies, all three had ended in m/c and this was the first that had made it to the 2nd trimester. I hung up on her and told my husband his sister is a b*tch. I'm happy to report that we had a baby girl the next year. We had two more m/c before having our second little miracle (also a girl). We didn't tell her about the m/cs because I didn't want to deal with her.

Ashley - posted on 09/30/2012

That is awful! Who would say that??? I sympathize with you my daughter wears a brace on her leg and kineso tape on her arm and I am asked several times a day about it. It drives me crazy! How is that appropriate? Right now, I'm just glad she is 2 and doesn't understand. I like to give crazy answers especially if it's like the 3 or 4 time during the day. I think of it as a verbal slap in the face! FYI, it took me a looong time to get to this point but I figure what the the he'll, if they can be rude and insensitive, then so can I! ( this is only for adults. It doesn't bother me if it's a child.) I'd like to tell you it gets better but in reality, it doesn't. Keep your head up and find some humor or a snappy come back!

Bobbie - posted on 09/22/2012

Wow, I must say that is the very most insensitive thing I have ever heard someone say. I would be shocked as well.

It is difficult to handle it once it is out of their mouths. For many this means not striking up conversations with strangers because, well, they can be so strange. I am a real people person so I have gotten really stung a few times. I have learned to let the tears come, not fight them back and let the person see that their words hurt me deeply. Most of the time they apologize and say they just didn't realize what they were saying . This also helps when the baby is able to understand their cruelty and be affected as well. Of course the mother tiger comes out then and I say things directly to them to set them straight. I had a woman tell me my son was too fat. He was on steroids and had a puffy face and body. Rather than make this moron understand what he was going through medically I smiled at my son and said. Well, gee, it''s a good thing that her opinion doesn't count then, isn't it? I laughed loudly and took his hand and said, some people just have no sense of common courtesy. In this instance the woman said, some people were not brought up to respect their elders. So I had to turn on this one lady and really lash out. I said, and some elderly people get what they deserve.

Denikka - posted on 09/22/2012

Some people are insensitive twats. Some people panic, don't know what to say and blurt out the first thing that pops into their heads. And some genuinely think that they are being supportive, helpful or kind.



Never mind the idiots of the world. You know that you have a beautiful new baby. That's all that really matters :) Everyone else can go suck it :P