How to cope with baby in NICU when live far from hospital

Tracy - posted on 12/04/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Gave birth to son at 33weeks and was diagnosed with esophageal atresia and tracheoesophageal fistula a few hours after birth. he cannot have surgery to repair until 2.5kg currently has been in nicu for 2 weeks 5 days and is 2kg. My concerns are we live 1 1/2 hours from the hospital. I am able to stay in a room from time to time in hospital but everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't do that too long. I was put on bed rest in hospital before delivery and stayed until last week and felt I was going crazy so went home. I want to see him everyday and hold him but my husband says i should stay at home one day and work on some things around the house to help me cope since when I leave the nicu i cry and when i get home i cry all night. to top of this my 12 year old dog has cancer and i have to put her to sleep this week a little to much to take right now. I feel guilty if I do not go in to see him for at least an hour and talk to him etc. We can watch him on the computer so that helps but just not the same. Anyone else had to deal with this and how did you cope? I know he is being well taken care of.

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Reema - posted on 12/28/2012

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I went through a similar situation when my son was born at 32 weeks. The hospital I was transferred to for delivery was a minimum of an hour and a half away from home. My husband worked close to the hospital so he would drop me off at the hospital before work and pick me up after work. We visited my son in the NICU every day including the weekends. We did request to have our son transferred to a hospital closer to home but in the end decided it was better for my son to stay put until he was ready to come home. If your child is going to be in the NICU for an extended period of time then it may be worth it to see if transfer to a hospital closer to home is an option. You are going through a lot right now and I feel for you. I hope you have family and friends you can reach out to who can help you get through this as well.

Devon - posted on 12/12/2012

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My son was born early, weighing 1lb 10oz. I was lucky enough to stay at the Ronald McDonald house & be at the hospital the whole 8 weeks he was there. It is hard, but well worth it to be there. My husband was unable to stay so he went home & continued to work. I stayed with the baby & worked on helping to bond with him & learn what I would need to bring him home.



Do what you feel is right. Ask lots of questions & if you forget ask again...don't be afraid to cry sometimes it helps a lot. Talk to the other parents in the NICU, they are dealing with the same issues.



It will all work out the way it should. My son is 3 1/2 now & you would never, ever know how we started out. Preemies are amazing little babies, stronger then you think :)

Jessica - posted on 12/07/2012

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We just had our son and he was in the NICU for the first month of his life. He was born at 33 weeks also and we have been told he has brain damage. Not sure from what. I ended up staying ( while my husband worked ) at the Ronald Mcdonald house the whole time my son was in the hospital. They provided rides back and forth, and meals, a warm bed. I understand your concern and my heart goes out to you and your family. Maybe see if there is a place like that where you can stay at by your son.... talk to a social worker from the hospital. Thats who helped me get where i needed to be. My husband also came and took me to he hospital as well. Having a child in the NICU i learned that every day is different. You take the good and the bad. Hopefully more good than bad... and we had a strong support system with our family. That helps out to. Good luck to you and your family.

Ma. Yvette Heart - posted on 12/06/2012

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I know and I understand how you feel sis Tracy, just like you my baby Yvan is in mechanical ventilator for 2 months and up to now he's 8 months old and yet still in medical oxygen support. The feeling of struggling to his life, where to get money and all our debts, those are the things bothered me and my husband but one thing I can share with you is always put God in your life, He can always help and provide. Just stay strong because your baby needs you more than anyone else nor the doctor they are those angels sent by God as blessings :) Trust in the Lord, come here, I'll give you tight hug :)

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