Input from preemie moms

S - posted on 04/20/2010 ( 39 moms have responded )

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I recall one of my coworkers mentioning something about this and I've heard it a few other times. Why is it that other people dismiss having a preemie as easy since I delivered my daughter at 1lb 10 oz.



I will be the first to admit that obviously pushing was MUCH easier for me than it might have been for other mothers however just because I had a smaller baby it doesn't mean that my body said "um we only have to go thru half the contractions". I still had to dilate fully plus one and yes...the contractions hurt. Unfortunately it was too late for me to have any pain meds by the time I got around to wanting them. I'm interested to hear from other moms

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Nichole - posted on 05/11/2010

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My little boy was born at 36 weeks, and he was 7 pounds 5 ounces. I had 3rd degree tearing! That hurt!! Not too mention how worried I was, he swallowed some of the meconium and had some issues breathing. I'm just glad I was able stay preggo as long as I did. He almost came at 21 weeks, then again at 24, then again at 30, and then 34 weeks. Each time I went into labor my heart sank and I'd just be so scared for him. Labor is suppose to be exciting, but it's not at all that for premie mom's, we're too worried about thier safety.

Amy - posted on 05/10/2010

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Chandra and Debbie (4/21) both have the emotions nailed right on the head! I know exactly how they both felt.

Amy - posted on 05/10/2010

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I delivered my first daughter @ 32 weeks. Now that I can compare that with two other births, I have to say that for me that labor was a bit easier. However, being my first, it did really hurt. And because she was small she did seem to slip out (but I did have to push still). But this is what people don't understand. There is nothing easy about delivering a preemie. The fear factor alone is way more intense than when you are delivering a full term baby. The unknown is awful. Having your baby wisked away for hours before you can hold her, not getting to have her with you in your room, and for me the hardest part was having to leave the hospital without my daughter. I felt jipped out of that experience with my first born. Yes, your body still has to go through all the physical changes during labor that anyone else does. And yes, the pain is enough to require pain meds. When other people say to you that it is easier, just tell them to be thankful they delivered full term babies because no one wants to go through the experience of delivering a preemie, eventhough we ended up with special miracles!

Amanda - posted on 05/09/2010

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I have never had a full term baby but I was in the hospial on bed rest for 7 weeks before I had my son by emergency c-section at 29 weeks. He was 2 lb 6 oz and the whole time I was in the hospital on bed rest I went through horrible contractions!!! C-section scar is bigger than my other friend who had a full term C-section and what we went through after was much harder!!! He was in the hospital for 10 weeks and EVERY day and many months after were a tremendous struggle. He is 14 months old now and is worth every minute of it!

Susan - posted on 05/05/2010

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Nobody should dare to judge another mom's birth experience. You just never know what went on or what that mom felt. I had a c-sec; they lost a sponge and broke a needle. I was open on the table and alone with just one nurse for 45 minutes while the docs looked at xrays. My own private hell. AND when I got back to recovery and was totally alone, I got a call from hospital accounting wanting me to prepay my room. NOT FUN AT ANY POINT. Don't tell me that my 1 lb 3 oz baby was easy!

Sammy-joe - posted on 05/03/2010

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hi ladies, i know how u all feel. i was celebraiting my 21st birthday with my nan, my auntys, my sister and my cousn out having lunch when i started getting pains in my back. at this stage i was only 33 weeks pregnant and i didnt know wat was going on i thought it was normal so i egnored it. i had a very busy day that day and had a realy good birthday but that night it all went wrong. i went to the hospital at midnight, 15 mins later they told me that i was in laybour but i wasnt dialated. i was so scared cos it was my first time, i was in alot of pain and was having trouble concentrating on my breathing so they gave me the gas wich helped me carm down abit. after awile they decided to give me some pethadein to see if that would help get rid of some of the pain and it did for a little wile but then we got firther on and the pain was herendis so we tried the sterile water injections in my back wich they hurt so much but after they where done the pain was easier to deal with. when my son was born i got to hold him for a second then they raced him off to give him oxygen. then they took him to the SCN (special care nursery) so i realy didnt get to see him. my laybour hurt so much. my son was 5lb 9 oz wich was a good size for a 33 week old baby. but the worst was still to come. we only had 3 weeks in hospital ofter being born but they were the hardest 3 weeks i have ever had in my life.
my point of view is the people that had babys round the same time as me, yea they got to take there bebys home with them and i didnt but the three weeks my son spent in hospital i got to learn a lot about him befor he came home. i sat at the hospital from 8.30 in the morning till 12 middnight, so i learnt all hes diffrent cryes eg (when he was hungry, wet nappy and so on) now my son and i have arealy close bond which i think is so good i under stand him more than what my partner does. my son is almost 17 months now and u wouldnt think he was a prem baby at all. so for the people out there who think there babys r better than ours cos they went all the way i say prem babys can do just as good !!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley - posted on 05/02/2010

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actually a very close friend of mine had both full term child and preterm at 22wks she said preterm is way worse cause ur body hasnt gotten ready for all the labor

Brittany - posted on 05/01/2010

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My son was born at 24 weeks at 1 lb 7 oz. I was in labor for 21 hours with no pain meds. They were thinking if they should try and stop the labor or not because with every contraction his heart rate droped. Well they gave me meds to help me dialate more because his heart rate droped so low you could barely detect it. I went from a few cm to full blown in 5 mins. I still had contractions but when I started the pushing his heart rate droped and I had to push without the contractions to get him out fast and I ripped open on the inside and had stiches. So its not easier, you still have all the pain.

Elvy - posted on 05/01/2010

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My 25 weeker's birth was physically easier than my full term births, but emotionally much harder as we knew he was going to pass away during or soon after birth. The labour was longer and just as painful as the full termers, however the actual delivery took me by surprise, as there was no (conscious) pushing involved, he just slipped out (only weighed 525 grams so he was tiny). My 26 weeker was a caesarean (alive and well now) and it was MUCH more painful and took much longer to recover from than my full term vaginal births, both physically and emotionally.

Diann - posted on 05/01/2010

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because they are ignorant! I had my preemie by emergency c, classical/vertical cut because the placenta tore. Its is actually harder because of the stress of it all! They should spend all those days in the NICU not knowing if their baby is going to make it then tell us it's easier! All while trying to physically heal.

Marlasw1991 - posted on 04/30/2010

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Your question is kinda vague. What type of information are you looking for

Vanessa - posted on 04/30/2010

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I have delivered 4 babies, all preemie. My second child was born at 32 weeks stillborn and was one of the most painful natural births I have been through not just emotionally. My body did not want to deliver her...it was horrible. My youngest little boy born 16 months ago born at 34 weeks was stuck in the canal when I stopped contracting (a c section was not an option at that point). No one can judge until they have walked in your shoes. I delivered all my children naturally and no epidural ever worked for me so the pain is very real.Ready what you posted brought lots of tears and memories back. Please don't pay attention to what people say...you know the truth. Just love and cherish your baby and be glad you both survived it all

Barbra - posted on 04/28/2010

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Both of my children were c-section but I did go into labour both of them.
My daughter was born by emergency c-section at 38 weeks, she was a footling breach for the weeks before she was born so we knew the c-section was likely. My water broke and my contractions started at 3 minutes apart. It was very painful, I was in labor for about 4 hours before the c-section.
Nothing could have prepared me for my son who was born at 26 weeks. I was in labor for 18 hours they thought that I may be able to deliver him. I had to have a cerclage removed at 10 hours into the labor, felt all of the contractions despite my epidural, and had back labor. After 18 hours of trying to deliver him naturally I was given an emergency c-section. For close to a month after that my tailbone hurt because he pressed against it during most of the labor.

Dana - posted on 04/28/2010

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Contractions are contractions, they hurt no matter what anyone says or if you have a term baby or a premie baby. I was in labor for 9 hours after being in the hospital for 4 days trying to stop my labor. It was stopped long enough to get the steroid shots for my little guy's lungs, but then Thurs morning 15 minutes after a dose of medication to stop my labor it began. He was born at 31 weeks, I did get to hear him cry but only got to catch a glimpse of him before he passed through the window and was gone from sight. I was in labor for 12 hrs with my 1st and 13.5 with my second ending in an emergency c-section. So as for the physical pain, it doesn't matter when you have your baby it hurts! I do believe moms of premies go through so much more pain as well. The emotional and psychological pain of having a premie, not knowing what is happening or going to happen, and the constant roller coaster of emotions and good days then bad days make it 100 times more painful than a regular delivery.

The people that say stupid things like that are just ignorant to the entire experience. Any one who has not experienced it can relate no matter how hard they try. In their ignorance people say stupid things without thinking or considering how it might effect you. Common sense isn't very common, and ignorance is bliss for those have not experienced what a premie mom has.

Eva - posted on 04/27/2010

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I didn't get a chance to reach labor. My son was born by emergency c section at 28 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. I don't have any other children, so unfortunately, I don't really know what the labor & pushing are like.

Cherie - posted on 04/27/2010

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people just don't understand that not only is it physically painful, it is also mentally and emotionally painful. having your baby taken from you right away and not being able to hold them, the feeling that you were somehow inadequate and not able to take care of your child the way you were supposed to, not being able to take your child with you when you leave the hospital. we spent 4 months in the nicu and it is a pain i would not wish on my worst enemy.

Felicia - posted on 04/25/2010

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It's not easy at all. I had my son 2 and 1/2 months early. Not only did I have to go through the contractions and push him out when he weighed 4lbs 2 oz I also didnt get to hold my son or have him in the room with me when I was in the hospital but when I got released I didn't get to take my son with me. I didn't have the gas to get to the hospital everyday so I lost custody of him till I get my things together. I do get to see my son and he is in good hands. So to anyone who thinks a preemie baby is easy its not. It is not only physically hard but emotionally too.

Emma - posted on 04/25/2010

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My eldest was born at 35weeks and weighed 5'11. I survived on gas and air but that's only because I was so unwell (could have died) that it was at all possible. I'm not denying that it wasn't easy for me as I was hooked up to so many machines making sure that I was alright, I couldn't pick her up for nearly 2 weeks afterwards (which broke my heart) but it was alot easier than my 2nd that was born 5weeks ago on weds weighing 8'1 at 39weeks also with just gas and air. Also, I tore a little with my 5'11 baby but not a scratch with my 8'1.

I hate when people say 'oh you had it easy because she wasn't so big' (with my first) but on my life I did because I was ill throughout the pregnancy, I nearly died, she could have died, I was on bed rest, I was hooked up to machines and I wasn't able to hold her or fedd her properly for 2 weeks!!

Brandy - posted on 04/24/2010

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I feel ya hun, My son, 2lb 6oz was horrible! Ten stitches, No pain meds, and screaming so bad a nurse got in my face and told me to SHUT UP! I won't go into the details of my epic delivery just know that, when you don't go all the way in a preg. Your body isn't prepared all the way so in hie sight Look at is as a Badge of Honor that your body jumped in fast forward to delivering and withstanding that Shove to delivering before you were ready. Don't forget the babies were preemie babies but we were also preemie moms as well meaning their bodies weren't ready and ours weren't either!

Michelle - posted on 04/24/2010

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Preemies can actually be harder to deliver than bigger babies...in my case, at 3lbs 2oz, he was not big enough to lodge in the birth canal and when i would stop pushing to wait for another contraction he would slip back up therefore they had to give me an episiotomy in order to get him out quickly and safely(so very important since preemies can not withstand the trauma of birth as well as a full term baby) and lets not forget the 2 1/2 day spent in labor while they were trying to stop it to no avail!

BELINDA - posted on 04/24/2010

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WELL, I NEVER FORGET MY EVENTS HAPPENS ON MAY 2MD EARLY MORNING AROUND 2 AM MY STOMACH ON MY RIGHT SIZE WAS A SIZE OF LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HAD ADD SOMETHING THERE THAT NIGHT BUT I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT NIGHT I COULD NOT BARE IT AT ALL SO GOT RUSH THERE AND ALL. MY SON WAS BORN AT 30 WKS AND HE WEIGHT 3LBS AND 3 OZ! I JUST THANKS GOD ALL THAT TIME HE WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE AND ME AND DAD WERE THERE UNTIL HE CAME HOME, BUT ALL OF MY CO-WORKER R JEAULOUS OF THAT I HAD A SPECIAL CHILD, A MIRACLE CHILD THAT I ALWYS CALLED HIM AND IT JUS ENCOUGAGED ME TO TELL YOU DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAID ABOUT UR PREMEE BABY BECAUSE I AM THE SAME WAY AND A FIRST TIME MOM ON TOP OF THAT. I JUST LISTEN TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MY SON DOCTOR AND IF THEY TELL U DO NOT WORRY ABOUT A CERTAIN THINGS THEN I SAID THANK U LORD LETTING HIM HERE ON EARTH. U SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF UR PREMEE AT ANY COSTS AND EVERY FIBERS OF YOUR BODY AMEN!

Emily - posted on 04/24/2010

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When my water broke the docs said I was having contractions but didnt feel them. Then gave me meds to stop them and it worked for awhile. But then all of a sudden I went from closed to 3 cm in about a half an hour and then from 3 cm to 7cm in 6 mins! And by ten minutes I was fully dialated. I didn't have time to get any type of pain meds. And was completely worn out from how fast I was dialating that when it came time to push i only had to push three times and my husband had to hold my legs because i was just to tired. When they had finally moved me to OR the doc could already see the top of my sons head.
It hurt but I was lucky enough to not have any complications and was back on my feet later that night. Just some people (I think) handle pain differently and every pregnancy is different. But agreed, the person who said that is completely clueless.
My sister had her full term baby 16 days before mine was born, contractions hurt for the both of us...plain and simple.

Therese - posted on 04/24/2010

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It sure wasen't any easier for me all the way around...I had an emergency C-section and my premie came at 30 9/10 weeks..she had the cord wrapped around her neck and we almost lost her then the next 7 weeks were emotionally draining far worst then a fullterm baby...you have to leave you baby in the hospital...you can't hold them when ever you want, they are full of tunes and cords and monitors, My daughter had trouble learning to eat so we brought her home on a Haberman nipple the type a baby with clef palate uses,then when she came home she was on a monitor so your constantly worrying everytime the monitor goes off then your milk isn't as quality as it should be because they have to have that special Neosure formula for premies then the expensive RSV shots..There was nothing easay about having a premie and to add you can't ever go anywhere because you can't take them around alot of people....And I agree with you labor hurts no matter what..the person that said it was easier for you is totally clueless...It was the worst summer f my life....I was on the biggest emotional rollercoaster..But now I have a Beautiful healthy 21 month old Baby girl that Adore more then life itself!!!!!

Christina - posted on 04/23/2010

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So true, I was on bed rest for 2 months prior to having Chloe 31/2 months early, then spent 6 months in the NICU with her. That was definitly not easy.

Becky - posted on 04/23/2010

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I had my son at 30wks. It was the worst! My water broke the hosp sent me home saying it was watery mucus. Went back next day n had emergency c-section. He was 3lbs 9oz. He then went to 2 diff hosp before I saw him. Was not allowed to hold him till he was 2wks old after drs asked me about turning him off. I DID NOT DO IT!
Not only is there labor pains but with preemies there is also the pain of now knowing if they are alright. He is now 10yrs, but it scares me to even think about having another one.

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i'm so sadden by your story it makes me cry. but i feel your pain. kind of sort of. my baby was born month and a half early and he was breechd so i wentthrew a c-section,which i had a really hard time with. i blacked out for atleast 5 mins before comming to. but the baby was a good weight 5lbs and 1 oz which that doctors were surprise on his weight they thought he would of weighed more like 3lbs, but he was in the nicu from the day he was born til dec 22nd and the hard part was we were in one hospital and was sent to another one because he wasnt supose to be deleivered here so after they delievered him here because it was a eally bad snow storm going on, but then we were sent else wheres then on the 16th of dec is when we finally got a romm here closer to home we were there til the 22nd. thank god. we got to come home for christmas. AMEN. But it is very hard for a mother of a preemie to go through what they go through because that is the thing you dont know if your baby is dead or alive , sometimes,because you dont always hear them crying. so its very very hard. so no matter what any one says it's the hardest thing in the world to end up having a preemie, but let me tell you god blessed us with a very speacial and very prescious bundle of joy... congrates on your little one. may god bless you and i hope for the best..

Sue - posted on 04/23/2010

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Why would anyone say that? No pain I felt was worse than the horror I felt and the helplessness and the never ending worry. I frankly don't think about the physical pain because the emotional pain was far more unbearable. I had an emergency c-section under general at 25 weeks.

Lisa - posted on 04/22/2010

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I have twin boys that were 13 weeks early. It was painful with the contractions and even more so when i was meant to have them natural but i was rushed in to have an emergency c section. one of my little guys was just over 2 pounds and the other just under. It was a scary and most painful thing i had to go through. Just cause the bubs are smaller doesnt mean its less painful. Getting the epi was painful and using the gas did nothing to reduce the pain from the contractions. We all go through labor just some people have it easier then others.

I know my sister has had 2 kids her girl was 8Ibs 5oz and she was in pain for her and she was a week overdue. Her son was 9Ibs and he just shot straight out. So even though they were big when they were born she had more pain with my niece then my nephew.

April - posted on 04/22/2010

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My daughter was born at 30 wks weighing 2lbs 11oz and her birth was the most painful and stressful birth I had out of 3 children. She was my first and I had to have her due to preclampsia. The inducing meds they gave me came on hard and fast and because of my condition, they would not let me get up or let me go in any other position then laying on my left side. Having a natural birth without medication was impossible for me. I had to have Demeral for the pain and also an epirdual, which by the way only worked on one side of my body and I was more numb after the birth. I don't recall the actually pushing was as painful, could of been because of the epirdual. My second child was 2 wks early for the same reason and once again the inducing meds was extremley painful. Gas was useless and they could not get anyone to give me a epidural fast enough because it does not take me very long to give birth. My best birth was with my youngest. I had no problems with him and going naturally when your body is ready was the least painful birth. The experience was wonderful. I would do it all over again if he wasn't my 3rd.

Dionne - posted on 04/22/2010

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I can't believe anyone really says that! WOW! Giving birth is giving birth. THere is still contractions there is still the need for full dialation. I had to go into the hospital early when my water broke at 6 months. I stayed there for 2 weeks before I actually had contractions. Staying there alone almost made me crazy. Then when I started having contractions the nurses didn't believe me. I was in labour for maybe a good 12 hours before going to labour and delivery and only because on the morning shift I saw a nurse who actually was assigned to me quite a few times, she then got me the doctor who then had me transferred to L&D. So really I think in a way some of have it worse with preemies on so many different levels. Nothing easy about it.

Karen - posted on 04/22/2010

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I had my daughter at 29 weeks. I too did not have any meds. I didn't feel my pushing her out because I was doing what I was suppose to do.. concentrating on my breathing and pushing. They may think having a preemie is easy, but what comes after it is the hard part really. We don't get to take baby home until the baby is ready to go home. So in all honesty I think we are the lucky ones. We are able to allow our body time to heal so that when the baby comes home we are relaxed, hopefully rested and ready for those long nights. I know I was x 2. If I had to do it all over again I surely would want my babies early. Maybe not at 29 weeks, but more like 34 (when my son was born). I have to also agree with you on the issue of labor. My daughter hurt.... I just kept yelling she wants out ... let her out! .I am proud that I did deliver her without drugs...I agree with you other ladies.. We are just as proud of our little ones as we would have been for our big ones... I say we were more blessed. It made us appreciate getting up during the night. The real pain for me was the after birth... It would not come out.. We won't go there... OUCH!

Emily - posted on 04/22/2010

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I have not heard that from others, but my preemie birth was definitely worse than my full-term birth! 3 days straight of a migraine due to pre-e, then during actual labor the epidural wore off and I felt everything. Yes she was only 3lb, but it hurt like hell! My first birth I hardly felt a thing.

Jody - posted on 04/21/2010

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I had a c-section, but I have heard the smaller the harder because the little ones get tired easier and therefore can take longer, and take a lot out of mom!

Kerin - posted on 04/21/2010

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Oh that is an unbelievable satatement from others! Obviously they haven't been there!

My first daughter born at 39 weeks was a normal vag birth, it hurt yes but was quick. My son born at 19weeks (d) also naturally hurt just as much, my daughter born at 24 weeks naturally, hurt the most! She was extended breech and got stuck. All the contractions hurt the same, and in my experience I believe the LACK of weight to help them come through the birth canal assisted by gravity - makes it worse!

S - posted on 04/21/2010

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I'm with you ladies. I was in labor for about 24 hours, 23 of it at home (not purposely just thought they were braxton hicks). Those contractions were NO joke, I've yet to have another baby but I can't see that contractions for a preemie are any easier. Pushing was the best part of the process, 3 times and she was here and then my world crumbled. I never heard her cry, she was taken away immediately and I'll never forget the tremendous feeling of loss. Immediately the doc wanted me to push out the placenta while I was waiting for word of whether my child was even alive. No one told me anything, were it not for my husband going down to NICU to find out I wouldn't have known a thing.

Lindsey - posted on 04/21/2010

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I had to have a c-section because my daughter was breech, but I was in labor for 12 hours before that and it hurt like hell! (they were trying to stop my labor in that 12 hours). But someone did say to me it was too bad I had to have a c-section because it would have been the "easiest" delivery! yeah! almost as easy as hearing that my baby was critical and they had done everything they could for her, almost as easy as watching her fight for her life for her first two weeks of life while I stood there not being able to do anything for her; I couldn't even touch her! almost as easy as having to leave every night for 8 1/2 weeks without my baby and coming home to my two boys asking me when they would get to see their baby sister! Sorry, I might have been venting there. lol. but there is nothing easy about having a preemie.

Heather - posted on 04/20/2010

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My preemie was my 2nd daughter (33-weeker). So for me, the labor was shorter than with my 1st. She was also 3 pounds lighter (5'5) than my first (8'5), so the pushing was SO MUCH easier. I would say that it is PHYSICALLY easier to deliver a preemie. However, the emotional side is way more difficult.

Chandra - posted on 04/20/2010

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I get that also. My son was born at 26 weeks and the night before he was born I had 3 hours of Contractions and I know thats not that long but it hurt so bad. i had 2 anxiety attacks during that 3 hours so on top of being in pain and having to try and breathe thru that i had them and they took my breath away!! I had to have an Emergency CSection so i didnt have to go thru delivery but I was just a scared! He was born at 545pm I didnt get to see him til 8am. I fell like I missed out on so much. I only got to feel him kicking for 6 days and I could only feel it not my mom or my lil sis. i didnt get to hear his cry that lets us know that they have arrived. I didnt even get to touch him. It bothers me when they talk like we didnt go thru as much as they did but in a way we almost went thru worse. But I have a motto "Its hard cause its worth it and its worth it cause its hard!" And My lil man was so worth all that!!

Debbie - posted on 04/20/2010

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I had pain meds, I had to have an epidural to remove the cerclage. I felt contractions and 2lbs or not, I felt him crown. Although they are smaller, our bodies did not even come close to adjusting. I even tore some with him.....Easy, let them labor knowing that they won't be able to hold their child, that their child will be taken away immediately and the struggle that child will have for life. The hardest thing I felt as he slipped from me was would he die right then. I still cry thinking about it....Luckily, he is 6 now and wonderful

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