Is anyone else afraid to have another child after having a preemie baby?

Amber - posted on 04/28/2009 ( 58 moms have responded )

14

11

1

My son was born at 35 weeks, and spent the first 17 days of his life in the NICU. He had a few problems. He stopped breathing once, and his heart rate kept dropping really low. He is perfectly fine now, and will be 3 in June. My husband and I have been talking about when to have another baby, and to be honest. I am sooo afraid. I don't know if I can handle it happening again. It was the worst 17 days of my life. He was born preemature due to me being a diabetic. Most diabetics have their babies early. So there is a high chance of the next one being early as well. So if you any of you have an advice, I'd love to hear what you have to say. Thanks in advance!!! God Bless!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Asha - posted on 05/02/2009

5

9

0

I am definalty scared to have another child. My son was born at 27 weeks and spent five long mounths in the NICU. We almost lost him numerous times, but God got us through. I guess that is what faith is all about. If you want me to pray for you ask and I'll do it.

Donna - posted on 04/29/2009

2

13

0

Having a child is scarey enough but with the possibility of another premie, it's even worse. My daughter was 28 weeks and 2.5 lbs. She had multiple issues at birth and 4 surgeries. I did get enough nerve to have another one after 5 years. After the first one, I was put as a high risk pregnancy. They watched me very closely and I was at the office at least once a week. My son was born exactly on time without any issues. Both are doing great and it was definately worth the risk. You will see as time goes by, it does get easier and the fear goes away.

Katie - posted on 04/29/2009

1

1

0

hi amber, i also had a premmie son born at 30 weeks, 910 grams. my son is 10 now and going great. i am also scared to have another premmie so for the time being its just the two of us... just remember sometimes they are better being born than suffering in utero. there are so many things doctors can do. so take the plunge and welcome another bundle of joy into your life... good luck

Jenny - posted on 04/28/2009

27

3

3

Hi Amber

My first child was born at 30 weeks & I think it is natural to be scared or concerned. Hence there is 5 1/2 yrs gap between my children. Best advice I can give was to pray & get others to pray for you asking for God's protection. Also being under a physician helped me as he kept an eye on my condition whereas the gynie could focus on the baby. Any changes the physician always consulted the gynie to check it was suitable in pregnancy - it gave lots of comfort that all will go well. Prayerfully the second child was born at 36 weeks & went home with me. Hope that helps..

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

58 Comments

View replies by

Ginger - posted on 04/21/2012

116

0

21

I am also horrified of getting pregnant agian. I am sure things can be planned for and steps can be taken to prevent something that came as a surprise the first time, but that doesn't soothe my fears. So I am glad to know I am not the only one who is afraid to have another one. I think if you can get your diabities under control and stay under close doctor care they can control it for you. I dunno

Sabrina - posted on 04/15/2012

11

23

0

One of my best friends would have preferred your situation. She was 26 weeks pregnant and had her daughter. Ellie spent four months in the NICU. She is alive and a wonderful two year old. My friend went on to have another daughter and began to have her at 30 weeks. They managed to stop labor that time and when she was finally at a safe point to have her second that child did not want to come out. Both are healthy girls.



After making everyone jealous by how easily I get pregnant and my two very healthy daughters, my new OB said there was an issue with my third daughter that I also conceived very easily. Every doctor's visit was nerve wracking but at the same time I have healthy children. We were finally told on March 20th that my child had only a 5% chance of making it to term. After a car accident on April 5th, we discovered that the car accident was too much for our little fighter and that she had died.



Bottom line is every pregnancy is different and you never know what to expect. At least a little fear is always expected.



I saw someone else say to let your doctors be aware of your last pregnancy. Let them know what your fears are. They will monitor you closely to make sure everything is going smoothly. Other than talking to your doctor, take cranberry supplements. Women are prone to UTI's especially when pregnant and cranberry supplements will help prevent that. UTI's or other infections will also cause you to go into labor way early and since you already have diabetes it is good to try to avoid infections.



Good luck and I hope I didn't scare you :)

Rebecca - posted on 03/10/2011

23

37

0

My son was born @ 34+5, no idea why, he just felt the need to come out. He too spent 17 days in the NICU, for apnea & bradycardia, he also had trouble eating in the first week, by the time the 17 days were up, they had decided to send him home on caffiene citrate, to help with his breathing & heart rate. It was so up & down the whole time he was in there. But I found it reassuring that he was getting proper care & I could go & get the house ready for him to come home to as we didn't have a single thing put together! I want to try for another one in about a year or so. But am extremely nervous as well, as there was no 'cause' for having him so early, it makes me pretty nervous! Best of luck!

Beinda - posted on 03/10/2011

18

31

2

hi,

where do i started our son was born 5weeks premier having him in the hospital was really tough, he also had trouble breathing he lungs were deflated insteady of getting oxygen! it was one of there scariest thing we have been through, i have spinal bidfa and dislocated hips and our ilittle boy is pick up really quickly but has an physical disabilty! we been try for awhile to have another one but due too have him 3yrs ago i havn't been able to fal pregent again wondering wheather to risk having another baby or not please help us!

Sue - posted on 06/26/2009

4

0

0

My water broke at 24 weeks and my daughter was born at 25 weeks (this was 10 years ago). She spent 10 weeks in the NICU. We waited thee years to try for another baby so our daughter would be old enough should the second pregnancy have complications. Well, we got pregnant on the first "try" and our second daughter was born on her due date! I have to admit I was very scared all throughout the second pregnancy and especially around weeks 20-30, I did everything very gently. Our daughters are almost exactly four years apar and both are perfectly happy and healthy. I insisted on seeing the same OB at each visit and he too treated me gently, at week 30 he saw me every week. Best wishes to you.

Angelia - posted on 06/26/2009

9

7

0

i am also a diabetic, and i did have two babies. my first one was an emergency c-section and he spent the first 4wks in the NICU. i remember the feelings you described here. i did have another baby and he was able to say "in me" two extra weeks. which did help him and he was able to come home with me. every pregnancy is different and if he was like my oldest, i felt that at least i knew, kind of, what to expect. oh, i forgot to add, my first boy was 32wks and my my second was 34wks. personally, i would pray. i think deep down you will know.....

Lyndsay - posted on 06/25/2009

2,008

19

175

My son was born at 36 weeks and was mostly healthy, aside from a bit of jaundice and problems latching on/learning to suck. I'm not scared, but I definitely will mention it to my doctor next time I'm preggo so they know to keep a close eye on me. Another thing is, I smoked cigarettes when I was pregnant with my son so that could have contributed to it. He has some respiratory issues (not serious, thank god) and so I've since quit smoking, so that's one less thing to worry about.

Rachel - posted on 06/24/2009

42

16

1

hi, i just wanted to tell you my story. I had my son at 34 weeks and he was in the hospital in nicu for 1 month. that was rough. he needed a blood transfusion. when he was born he was on a respirator, feeding tube and such. he had some reflux of one of his ureturs...part of the bladder. he is totally fine now. everything is good other than projectile vomits he has had for a year. I would not get worried about it happening again for your second child. Every birth is so different, you just cant determine what will happen. I would just reasure yourself, because the chances of things working out for you are better than not. I have not yet decided if i want another yet, not because of what happened but other reasons. I hope all the best for you.

Brooke - posted on 06/23/2009

2

11

0

I have 2 preemies, my first was born at 30 weeks and I was followed very closely with my second child and assured by ob that there was no way I was going to have another preemie because the second time I was completely healthy. My second child was born at 27 weeks. I feel very fortunate that both of my children are very healthy and would never risk another pregnancy after what I put my family through with both of my pregnancies.

Laura - posted on 06/23/2009

13

9

1

I have had 3 preemies one at 32wks, 29,wks and 26 wks so yes it can happen and they dont know why, i must thank god because all of my are now healthy. So just take it day by day and don't stress to much about it as this can also bring on early labor. God bless

Amanda - posted on 06/22/2009

9

10

0

We have a 32 weeker with 15 days of NICU to follow after 4 weeks of hospital bedrest just becasue she decided to come early. To be honest I couldn't wait to get pregnant again. So maybe we end up in the NICU again it's not like we haven't been there before. There was not a moments hesitation on getting pregnant again after Emma. The next one may come early and who knows maybe it wont but we're taking precautions and loving every minute I am pregnant this go round. Good luck. Focus on the positives you'll have another beautiful baby in the end.

Elaine - posted on 06/16/2009

7

23

0

hi, i nhave 2 children, my 1st my little girl was born at 40+4weeks (she didn't want to come out) then i had my son 8 years later in feb this year.

My waters broke at 24 weeks I had 5 long weeks in hospital I had him at 29+2 weeks by emergency c-section weighing 2lb12oz, he didn't need oxygen & he only stayed on scbu 6 weeks, he's now 17 weeks old & piling the weight on.

Like you amber i am petrified of getting pregnant again just incase i have another preemie! i would love another baby but i don't know if i want to take that risk xx

Kristie - posted on 06/15/2009

1

21

0

I had two preemies and they are 17 and 10 now..todays technolgy I wouldnt worry about it too much..

Cassie - posted on 06/15/2009

1

10

0

My first was born at 24 weeks, it was the scariest thing I ever went through. She is five now and healthy as can be. I recently found out I have developed diabetes type 1 and a month later found out I was pregnant, I'm 18 weeks now, and everything is going well so far, I couldn't be happier. At first I was scared but now that I feel her moving inside of me I feel everything will be okay. I think it's just one of those things you've just got to do and then you wont be as scared. I do think though, that a little bit of fear is a good thing cause you'll be way more careful. Good Luck!

Amalia - posted on 06/15/2009

3

24

0

Hi my baby was born at 28 weeks with 2.2lb he spend his first 4 months in the Neonatal unit and then went home with oxigen i had an emergency c section i had pre clamsia a very bad one, even after 3 days he was born they have to take me t the high dependency unit because my BP was crazy high. It was very very hard but now he is a gorgeus boy no one can tell he was premature . My husband and me want another one we will love a litlle girl but we are very scared to try , is that bad that is afecting our sexual live just because we don't want to risk it...

Dani - posted on 06/14/2009

105

37

9

i had two previous pregnancies b4 my premmies.. my first i was induced at 41+2 weeks and my second was induced at 40weeks.. then my third pregnancy was twins.. we didnt find out it was twins till the 19week ultrasound.. even tho i knew it was.. and i always said my third pregnancy would b twins.. i swore that i wouldnt go into labour with these as i didnt with the other two.. but at 29weeks i went in to labour.. i was fully dialated within 2hrs and i got to the hospital about 15mins b4 that.. they weighed 2lbs 15oz and 3lbs 1oz.. they were going to b big babies.. compared to my other 2.. they spend 9weeks and 5days in nicu.. twin 2 had to have surgery at 5weeks to liagate his PDA but other wise they passed everything.. lickily for me these are my last so i dont really have to worry about having another premmie.. but i got a fair few friends that have also had premmies 26-32weekers.. and one of them is preg at the moment and she is beside herself.. she had the 26weeker and she has a 50/50 chance of it happening again..good luck..

Louise - posted on 06/14/2009

3

1

0

Hi, my first was born at 32 weeks and in scbu for 27 days, she is 11 next month, i then had another born at 28 weeks he was in scbu for 82 days and turns 10 tue, we said no more after that, but time changes and i decided that as there was no reason for the early births to try for a 3rd with my youngest i was monitered weekly and given steroids from 23 weeks just in case, went full term and no problems, at the end of the day you never know what will happen.

Allison - posted on 06/11/2009

4

7

1

Hello, My daughter was born at 25weeks weighted 1lb 6oz and spent 98 days in NICU it was the hardest time of my life, I actually had Placenta Previa and they said that is why I had her so early. We are afraid to try for another one cause they said it would happen again, I just wish I could get answers and hope it wont happen. Just keep praying and I wish you luck

Christine - posted on 06/11/2009

26

20

1

I had 2 normal pregancies then a 32 weeker due to a placental abruption. My husband and I said we would never want to go through that again. I researched placental abruptions for unknown reasons and found that if you wait 2 years your chances are only 15% of having another. So we waited, I lost weight, watched what I ate during my pregnacy just in case it was because I was overweight, talked to my doc and worried everyday of the pregancy. My doc said it was highly unlikely and treated my pregancy like any other. At 33 weeks, I had another placental abruption. He was surprised and so were the specialist that came to see me. My sons were both in the hospital for about 3 weeks and are doing fine. I have to say, the second time, I was much more relaxed and confident about having a baby in the NICU. Some of the nurses and docs even remembered us.

I think that if you have another and he/she is born early, you may not be as stressed because you will know what to expect. I think the hardest part will be worrying during the pregnancy.

Juliet - posted on 06/11/2009

7

22

0

Hi Amber,
Both my children were born preemies. My four year old was born at 26 weeks and stayed in the NICU for two months with no problems. My one year old was born at 32 weeks and stayed in the NICU for two weeks with no problems.

It's natural to be afraid, but remember that doctor's can help you prevent pre-term labor. Sometimes there's no way to promise that you're next baby is going to born full term, but there are things you can do to hold off longer. There are also doctor's who specialize in preterm labor, and those are the doctor's I suggest going to. They will also ask that you not stay on your feet as much and take it easy.

Annastacia - posted on 06/11/2009

3

8

0

Hello! My daughter was born at 26 wks she weighed 1lb 7 oz she's 12 now with no problems. I had her sister when she was 3. I don't remember being scared until after i was already pregnant. I had a better ob with my second daughter and instead of just sticking me on bed rest he stitched my cervix closed to prevent me from going into labor early. My second daughter was born 1wk after my stitches were removed! Just a couple weeks early and was completely healthy. I say go for it just make sure you have a really good doctor. Good luck :)

Heather - posted on 06/01/2009

4

20

0

very scared .............. jaxson was 16 weeks early spent 77 at ucsf in there icn very scared to have another one but i am going to want more then 1

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2009

21

25

3

Hi!
My son was born at 34 weeks and a bit on Nov. 29th, due to an incompetent cervix. At 20 weeks I had a routine ultrasound, in which they were unable to get all the measurements they needed, so I was rebooked to come in 3 weeks later. It was at this ultrasound that they discovered my cervix was less than 1cm in length. I was sent to an OBGyn for another ultrasound and a screening, and was put on bedrest that same day. I was given progestin and antibiotics, and booked to come in at 26 weeks for steroid shots for his lungs as they didn't think I would make it past 28 weeks. At 28 weeks I went in for a fetal fibronectin screen, which came back negative. The OBGyn however was concerned as he "thought" my cervix was gone and I was starting to dilate. I was shipped off to a hospital in a major city centre that was equipped to deal with babies less than 34 weeks. I spent 6 horrible weeks there, with weekly ultrasounds(which showed that my cervix had in fact NOT changed), and daily fetal monitoring. Due to work schedules, I spent a lot of time alone there, and a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, and being told it was the best place for me to be. Nobody was willing to admit that my OBGyn had made a horrible mistake. I felt like a prisoner. At exactly 34 weeks, I was sent to sit at home and wait to go into labour. Not even a week later my water broke. Suprisingly, I was very calm, went in to confirm that it was in fact my water and that I didn't pee myself, and was scheduled an induction the next morning if things didn't progress on their own. The induction was started at 8am, and close to 24 hours later(16 of which were hard labour), my son was born vaginally with the help of forceps. I saw him for a total of 2 seconds before he was rushed to the NICU because he wasn't breathing.



We spent 11 hard days in the NICU, which I know is nothing compared to the months and months some parents spend, and I have all the respect in the world for anyone strong enough to deal with that. I'm still dealing now with the loss of that "perfect pregnancy", and being unable to breastfeed my son. He still sometimes seems like a complete stranger, somebody else's child. But I am slowly coming to terms and accepting the situation for what it is. My son is now 6 months old, and 16lbs, 28.5 inches long., despite being born weighing in at 5lbs 5oz, and only 17 inches long.



My boyfriend and I have talked of having another child sometime in the future, we're looking more around the time my son is 3 or 4. I do want another child, but I'm also aware that I'm going to be a trainwreck concerning the whole situation. I feel that in a couple years I will be much better prepared emotionally and physically for another child, so I've been pretty diligent about my birth control.



When the time comes we'll take steps, a stitch placed early on, progestin to help keep my cervix thick, quit bad habits(smoking and the occasional drink) and adjust my diet accordingly a couple months before we start trying and modified/light duties at work from the moment I find out I'm pregnant up to 30 weeks, and at home kicking back from then on.



This is the plan thus far, besides finding another OBGyn. I could definitely go without seeing that man again in the rest of my life, despite him being familiar with my case. I'd rather spend an appointment giving another OBGyn a complete physical history than trust that man again with my body and my baby. I could have just as easily spent the time at home on the same modified bedrest(bathroom and shower privileges), and been under far less stress.



I feel better being able to have a plan the next time around. That's the biggest thing for me, is being prepared.

Amanda - posted on 05/27/2009

4

11

0

Hey Amber, let me tell you a little story. I myself am a diabetic (type 1). I know how scary it is to have children let alone a child when you have a disease has hard has this. Anything you do or eat affects not only you or your sugar but that beautiful miracle growing inside of you. Shorlty after my husband and I got married in Jan. of 2005, we found out we were pregnant, I was due Oct. 25th, but to our surprise I was diagnosed with preclamspsia, very scary! 36 hours of labor didn't dilate, his heart rate started to drop, doctors decided to do a c-section. Other then him being small and having jaundice he was perfect, he weighed 4 lbs 14oz. and 16 1/2 inches long, He did lose 10 oz. but he was able to go home 10 days later. Nine months later to our surprise we were pregnant again, and I am not going to lie to you, I cried, and cried, and cried not because I didn't want to be pregnant, because in my last pregnancy I was so sick and I didn't think I could get lucky again, well I didn't get lucky, It was the power of prayer. At 33 weeks and 5 days I was diagnosed with preclampsia again. 12 hours of labor, then the doctors said its like da ja vou so lets get going, and they did. 1/2 an hour later our daughter Lucy was born 5 lbs 2 oz, and 18 inches long, and healthy has can be. Today both of our children are happy and healty. They are both very small, both way under the charts, but there is nothing wrong with being small. My son is 3 and my daughter is 2. The doctors told us to wait atleast 3 years before we get pregnant again and we are listening, Now if you and your husband try to get pregnant again and you get pregnant, who ever said that the baby would be a premiee, just pray that your baby will be happy and healthy. Now what ever you guys decide to do, I will be praying for you. I have actually walked in the path that you are afraid to walk in, and I won't lie to you its hard, being a diabetic and all,but in the end its so worth walking!

"I know God would never give me anything I couldn't handle , but I really wish He wouldn't trust me so much!"- Mother Teresa

Monique - posted on 05/22/2009

1

9

0

My first child was born at 28 weeks and I got pregnant with my second right after. I was terrified the entire time, but she came at 39 weeks. My preemie is 4 now and is perfectly healthy and my third child was born this month at full term. The doctor should check your history and monitor you closely. That way they can catch anything that could cause problems. Hope this helps.

Noor Faisal - posted on 05/20/2009

1

9

0

Hi Amber :) my baby boy was born at 28 weeks .. and yes i am really terrified to have another baby! but when i think about him being an only child and no siblings to play with, it just makes me want to get pregnant today before tomorrow! don't worry there are several ways to prevent a second premature baby just seek help.

Estell - posted on 05/20/2009

17

21

3

This is gonna sound SO wrong, but i was happy to see someone else that's scared to have another child. My daughter, Bailey, was born @ 29 weeks and I'm TERRIFIED that it'll will happen again, and if it does we might not have the same out come. It seems like us preemie moms are the only ones who really understand that. The other moms I know and my family think it's silly to be so affraid of having another child. But then there's my daughter who loves to play with her little cousins and i think to my self, it's not fair to her. To miss out on having a brother or sister because her mommy was too afraid to do it again. Plus, being as how she is my first child, preemiehood is all i know. When my husband was 16 he and his g-friend had premature twins that they gave up for adoptiion, only one survived, so it's really all he knows too. I find comfort too in knowing that there is a large community of this exclusive little club, with mommys who completely understand everything you feel because they've been there too.

Mindy - posted on 05/19/2009

2

26

0

So I am a type 1 diabetic. My daughter came at 31 1/7 she spent 51 days in NICU she is 2 1/2 now and is ok. I was surprised with a 2nd child. I was so scared about her coming early or having health issues with my diabetes. I did Progesteron injections once a week. my hubby had to give them to me. I went full term with no complications. The Progestron keeps your cervix. "thick"

Samantha - posted on 05/19/2009

7

27

1

my child was born april 16th n was a 32week 6 day baby and he was born bc i have 2 a bicornial uterus *2 of them* and im very scared bc he ran out of room that it will happen again im even considering tubal ligation bc im so terrified. the nurse that came to visit w me n my son bc he was discharged from the nicu on may 4th just told me about an injection called 17p n its injections for people that are at high risk for preterm labor, ask your ob if that would work for you w being a diabetic

Aleeza - posted on 05/18/2009

77

27

10

i understand completely, my last one was 3.11. so i got a 5 yr iud. i hope by than my fear will subside a bit but after my last very scary pregnancy i cant do it again right now.

User - posted on 05/18/2009

6

0

0

My kids are nearly 14 and 10 now, but my daughter was born at 31 weeks and I struggled for a long time with the same decision you are now facing. You and your Doctor can write a plan of action. Knowing that the baby may be born early, perhaps you can take the shots that boost lung growth at 32 or 33 weeks, just planning on an early birthing plan can take a lot of the stress out of the pregnancy. Another thing to consider is bed rest, would resting through a good majority of the pregnancy make a difference in how long you can carry the second child. My daughter's birth was full of complications on my end with severe eclampsia, seizures and kidney failure. She spent 21 days in the NICU and I felt the same as you do, that those were the worst days of my life. Despite that fact and the research I did suggesting that I might have more problems(ie I could have died) with the second I did it anyway. At 11 weeks my BP rose to 172/113 and I was placed on medication and bed rest. At 16 weeks I found out about my diabetes and spent the remaining weeks also injecting insulin. I was able to carry my son to week 34, 3 weeks longer than my daughter. Subsequently he weighed more at birth than she did when I brought her home from the hospital. He did have some blood sugar issues and jaundice, but was home in just 5 days.
Good luck with your decision, you are right to be concerned and smart to ask the questions you need answered.
Jo Short-Smith
Columbia Falls, MT

[deleted account]

Hi Amber, I had my first child Daniel, at 25 weeks, due to what the doctors call a incompetent cervix, and explained to me if I wanted anymore children, I was to have a stitch in my cervix. so, I did, and I have had two more children, one girl born at 37 weeks, and another girl born at 38 weeks. Which was fantastic after our first born.

I am not diabetic, do not smoke or drink. didn't then, and don't now. My son, Daniel, is now 16, doing extremely well at school, is still lean, has to wear glasses for the rest of his life, but that is nothing, compared to some premmies who are born this early.

God bless to you and your family, and don't worry, you will get the right advice your heart tell you where it is.

from Sheryllee.

Heather - posted on 05/16/2009

2

0

0

My daughter was born at 32 weeks, she was in the nicu for weeks. it is very hard, i cry everytime i look at her photos. however we moved to a different state and i found an awesome ob for my second child. i had to weekly shots of progesterone shots , and my second child was 2 weeks early.

Kelle - posted on 05/16/2009

72

21

1

I had my b/g twins, Rhiannon & Konnor, in December at 32weeks. My girl spent 71days in the NICU and my boy spent 42 days. I was in the hospital with contractions since 29weeks. I continues to have contractions the entire time... but then they couldnt control them anymore. It really scares me that not only will I have another preemie again but that I will have preemie twins again. Not even going into the topic of twins again.. just the fact that you are more likely to have early labor with twins then with a singleton baby. And to worry about two babies in the NICU at the same time again... aaahhhh...

Katherine Leslie - posted on 05/14/2009

59

14

4

I am having my second Child. My son was born at 31 weeks +6 days. He came early becaue my bag had a little tear in it. when he was about 4 months old (only 2 months by dates.) I wanted to have another one. We didn't get pregnant again until April of 2008, my son was a little over a year. He was born jan. 3 2007. We lost that baby at 13 weeks. Then we found out that we were pregnant again in Nov. of 2008. I was kind of scared but It didnt' get the best of me. I know God wants me to have babies because if he didn't I would not have my son. I was told at 15 I would not beable to carry a baby more then 3 months and then loose it. But God changed that and we have a very big healthy little man age 2. The baby is due in July. I am now 32 weeks today. So don't let it scare you into not having babies. If you and your husband want more babies then try and let the Lord take care of your pregnancy. Good luck. I have heard that you could have another preemy because of having diabeties, I don't know much about that sorry.

Nina - posted on 05/12/2009

24

26

0

Amber, My daughter was born at 25 weeks and spent the first 103 days in the NICU. She has had some trouble along the way but each mile stone she reaches is so much more precious. She is currently 17 1/2 months old and we just found out that I am pregnant. I am very nervous but am being followed as a high risk pregnancy. I will be seeing my regular Dr. with frequent check ups with the OBGYN. So far I have called my Dr. with a couple of questions and when he has called back with a response he also checked with the OBGYN first. I agree that sometimes you just have to put it in gods hands. Best of luck to you.

Libby - posted on 05/06/2009

937

19

122

Honestly and truly, every pregnancy is different. My first was 37 1/2 weeks, my 2nd was 30 weeks (with complications from week 14 on), my 3rd was stillborn at 20 weeks (with complications from week 13 on), I am currently pregnant again and at 15 weeks (no complications as of yet). I wasn't scared to get pregnant with my 3rd after having a preemie. Of course now I am nervous to have complications again during this pregnancy. But if you really wanting another child then discuss your fears with your doctor. My doctor is taking care of my physical as well as emotional needs during this pregnancy and that's really what I need the most. I think before you get pregnant you should discuss a pregnancy plan with your doctor. For example, I am taking certain precautions and have certain plans during this pregnancy. Like I am taking extra folic acid, baby aspirin, limited physical activity, no sex, not taking a vacation this summer like we usually do, I am going to get the steroids for the baby's lungs at 28 weeks (whether I've had complications or not), and I've already had 2 ultrasounds and am scheduled for my next one in 3 weeks (hope to find out the sex). Anyway, knowing what the plans are and having open communication with my doctor and making these decisions with him are for my peace of mind. If your diabetes are not under control now, then make yourself as healthy as possible first! Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 05/02/2009

72

32

4

Hi hun

I have had 3 premers 1 @ 32 weeks spent 10 days in scbu and 2 @ 34 weeks who both only spent 48 hours in scbu and even that was too long the third came out grunting and then needed resuscitating but was still aloud home at 2 days old. and i found 2 days hard enough so i do feel for 17 days is very long. But i definitely would have another they r all different

xxxxxxx

[deleted account]

Both my babies were born early by emergency c-section (31 weeks and 32 weeks), both spent about a month in NICU each. But they are home, healthy, happy and wonderful! If someone had sat me down before I got pregnant the first time and told me that was how hard it was going to be, I'd say 'So what? Bring it on.' My husband and I made a pact when I was pregnant with the second one that if she was early too we were done, no more babies. But... one of those long tired days when we were sitting in front of her incubator in the NICU, we caught ourselves talking about going for one more. We love our children and they are worth the struggle.

Brandy - posted on 05/01/2009

12

5

1

My daughter, now 2.5 was born by emergency section at 34 wks and we spent 3 wks in NICU. I relate on that being the worst time of my life, that was the closest I've ever come to having a nervous breakdown. I did not plan to get pregnant again, however the Lord had other plans and despite my birth control got pregnant. I was sooooo terrified, I won't lie, from about 18 wks until 36 wks. The fact is though that EVERY pregnancy has risks. You know what the risks are with your condition. When you look at your little boy I know that the stress of having a NICU baby are miniscule compared to the joy that having him brings. Sometimes you just have to put it in God's hands and trust that He will not give you more than your "bridge" can hold. Good luck, and God bless.

Brandy Mihalak

Megan - posted on 05/01/2009

66

35

3

I am scared sh**less. I lost my first son at 19 weeks. Had Jacob at 26 weeks. And the doctors are telling me it is going to keep happening. So as much as i would love to give my son a sibling i'm not in a hurry. My doctor did tell ways we could make the pregnancy go longer. I would have to give myself lovenox injections twice a day until 6 weeks after i have the baby. So i am prepared just not ready yet. Things happen for a reason.

User - posted on 05/01/2009

6

32

1

I know how you feel. My first was born at 26 weeks. It took me 6 years to decide to have another. The doctors kept telling me it wouldn't happen again. "it was just one of those things". Well, I tried again. The next one was born at 35 weeks. so at least I went longer.
I guess it depends on why you went early. My doctors finally decided I just can't carry full term. so i stopped at 2.

[deleted account]

My husband wanted to have four kids. My smallest is his only blood child and we are both afraid to have more. It wasn't so much Abigail (my preemie) that worries us about having more kids,but the fact that I almost died. I had preeclampsia. I am a bit confused as to having others cause I hear they are all different. My first who is 8 now was full term, no complications on my part, and weighed 8.13. My littlest is now 20 months was born at 31 wks gest. and weigh 2.5 lbs. I strongly believe it is is Gods hands.

Beinda - posted on 04/30/2009

18

31

2

hello, i understand u been afraid and scared that they something might happen they an chance ur next one might been alot strong to fight and mightn't need so much care! im really scared that my next one might been they same my son spend 5 weeks in NICU and had problems with breathing as well! they tech is really gd now days so that wld help and yes it is really bad to leave them behind and they stress is bad! i say try for another im! i have spinal bidfa and dislocated hips! good luck!

Erika - posted on 04/29/2009

31

14

4

When in june was your son born? my daughter will be 4 on june 9th! =) she was born 3 months early weighing 1 lb 4oz...She is perfectly fine as well! But i am terrified about having another baby! I dont know if i could go through all that again! she was so close to not making it and i cant even bare the thought of losing a child! but you never know unless you try! plus if you get pregnant for the second time and the dr. find out your first child was a preemie they take extra care of you and try to do anything and everything they can to prevent it! I wish you the best of luck if you decide to have another one!

Crystal - posted on 04/29/2009

16

5

3

All mine where born to early but that doesn't mean that it will happen to you. You could go on to have a baby and it not be early best of luck

Meghann - posted on 04/29/2009

37

33

1

My twins, Hunter and Connor, were born at 25 weeks. Connor passed away at 6 weeks old and Hunter spent 100 days in the NICU. I got pregnant right away and just gave birth to our third son, Logan, at 31 weeks. It's scary to be back in the NICU, but I know he's in much better shape than the twins were. I'm also diabetic and Logan was born weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces, which is pretty darn big for a 31 weeker! (The twins were 2 pounds 2 ounces.) My OB isn't sure exactly why I went into labor with the twins, but with Logan I developed pre-eclamysia, metabolic acidosis and my liver enzymes were totally wacky. I spent 2 days in ICU before my OB decided it was best to deliver. I took weekly injections of progesterone to prevent pre-term labor and i know that if I didn't get so sick, I probably would have carried him longer. It's scary to think about the NICU, but in the end, it's totally worth it!

Tracy - posted on 04/29/2009

2

0

0

you are welcome and i fail to mention like the others...there are great doctors out there who can help you...even though i want more kids...i am now divorced but dating a wonderful man who has a 6 yr old and my son is 11...i don't have to worry about the baby stage...good luck!

Irytta - posted on 04/29/2009

3

6

0

I was definitly scared after my daughter was born at 24 weeks and spent 3 months in NICU, but I really wanted another child. So I went to a OB who specializes in high risk pregnancies and told him what had happened and asked his opinion on it. He thought that it was probably incompetitent cervic, and said that with a cervical stitch and bed rest I would be ok. It worked , and my son was born at 36 weeks and I got to take him home with me. With that condition, every pregnancy is a greater risk though, so I just have the two even though I would like more, because I am still scared. Also had a 10 week miscarriage after my son, so the heartache is not worth it to me to try again. It is scarry! But with a high risk doctor, it's worth it to have at least two children, so they are not alone!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms