My friends babys are doing much more much sooner?!

Laura - posted on 09/18/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I know when you are in the hospital they say let your baby go at their pace, but seeing other babys starting to try to crawl when my son is trying to get the whole role over thing ... it worrys me. and it feels like i cant share things with them , or really be happy for them. He is 5 months old, but was a month and a half early so he should only be 3 1/2 months - hes 16 lbs...but i feel like hes not "doing" enough?! HELP

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Cathy - posted on 09/25/2009

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My twins were born at 34 weeks. My girl twin is developmentally ok and on target for reaching her milestones. My twin boy has been diagnosed with "Unexplained Developmental Delay". Even after extensive medical tests, we have no clear reason as to why he struggles. Things just took quite a while longer ie rolling at 14 months, sitting up at 17 months, almost crawling at 2 years and 2 months! He currently attends an Early Intervention Centre where he sees a physiotherapist, Occupational Therapist etc; this truly helps! As other people have commented here, I also stopped comparing my son to other people's babies, stopped reading about "age appropriate milestones", and just decided to take each week as it came. The good news is that he is progressing, ie with the crawling and learning to pull himself to the sitting position, without tumbling over. A year ago he hadn't reached a single milestone. Now I am so positive that in his own time, he will run around and one day I won't be able to catch him!! Yes, it has been a hard journey and I have had many down days, yet I remain as positive as I can. You are a good mother, and it sounds like your baby is on target as far as milestones go. Remember, there is good support out there in the medical profession if you are very worried. I was so concerned, yet glad my mother's instinct told me to seek help for my son. He is thriving so much these days and he will get there in his own time; I know it in my heart that he will!

Sinikka - posted on 09/24/2009

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comparing is definately never the best, my preemie boys was really slow in the beginning to with rolling over and crawling but he was walking at 11months, my second son was really fast with everything anf my third is totally taking his time and took a really long time to start crawling he was almost 8 months and he was a full term baby

MONICA - posted on 09/24/2009

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What helped me was not comparing him with others, dealing with him as he was, alot of praying and learning how the therapists work with your child and working with your child, every child is different. Love and patience goes hand in hand. Your preemie will be up and running so fast you wont be able to keep up with him. God bless you and yours!!!

Megan - posted on 09/23/2009

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I understand how you are feeling. My son was born at 28 weeks, and all my friends who had babies they were all way ahead of my son. It just took some time and I had to work with him alot to get him to learn different things. But some kids even if they are not premie take a long time to do things. My daughter was born a few days befor her due date but she is not wanting to crawl at all. So just take your time with him and he will learn on his own.

Debbi - posted on 09/23/2009

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I've heard that it could take up to 24 months to catch up. Also, one developmental specialist told me that they usually focus on either motor skills or communication skills during the first year. So, they can't do everything at once. :-) My little guy was 12 weeks early and his development is in between adjusted age and actual age - closer to adjusted age. He's 9 months tomorrow. I've found that each baby has their weaknesses and strengths regardless of gestational age. Mine doesn't eat the most. He's maybe 17 lbs at 9 months actual. It is hard not to compare though! I have to remind myself that mine is an individual and should be looked at that way. Your baby is doing what he can and that's what matters! Praying that you'll have peace about it!

Shynowa - posted on 09/23/2009

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My son was a preemie but also diagnosed with Ds he is a little slower then others with what he is doing but ultimatly he too startted to sit up at 8 months actualy 7 months adn is progressing super well and just like anyother babies it was hard at first and sometimes i still find it hard when i see other children born after him doing more but at the same time he really is not far behind any of them and i like you have to tell myself to slow down and grassp these moments as the other ladies are right time goes by quickly and before we know it there going to be doing things were not even sure we want them to be doing lol
there is lots of support around i come from a super small town so to me these sites are helpful talking to other moms that are experienceing the same thing .. Your babe sounds like he is doing wonderful and hey dont stress things my little one can support his weight and sit up but still will not and cannot roll over so i mean at 3.5 months your babe is doing great and your doing a wonderful job momming him :)
good luck hun if you ever wanna talk send me a mesg hope all works out :)
xoxo

Sandra - posted on 09/20/2009

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My son was a premie also. He'll be 4 in October, and to look at him you would never know it. My doctor always told me that it takes time for premies to catch up with other children, I think she said by the time they are 16 months, they should be right on target. It's easy, trust me, to think they are lagging behind because you see other children further adhead. Don't worry your son will be up an running around in no time!

Megan - posted on 09/19/2009

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I know how you feel my son was 3 months early and he has a cousin that would have been around the same age and born the same month and in the beginning it was hard for me to watch her grow and grow and grow. I couldn't even be around her when Jacob was in the hospital. So i found it hard to see her reach goals before he did but the good news is that he was not far behind her and he is catching up to her even quicker now. I think he may even be more advanced than her in some areas. You have to also remeber to go by the adjusted age for his development. I know it is hard but pretty soon you'll be saying when did you get so big. Shoot my son is 22 months old and he just reached a weight of 20lbs. Do you have a physical therapist working with you and your son? If not you should get one b/c when i was feeling down about how "behind" or under developed my son was i always felt better after each visit with the physical therapist b/c she would would point out things that he progressed in since the last time. If you need to talk more send me a message. And enjoy thiese moments b/c that is all peope would ever tell me "your lucky b/c Jacob is almost one years old but he looks like a 5 month old."

Sarah - posted on 09/19/2009

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It's always hard to watch, but don't worry - your preemie will catch up. Enjoy the time you have with him & encourage him to do things, but always remember that he will do it when he's ready. My preemie didn't sit up on her own until she was 8.5 months (7 months adjusted) & didn't start crawling until she was 9.5 months (8 months adjusted) She's always been tinier than almost all kids her age (she's 16 months & still only 20.5 pounds), but she has walked before babies who were born around the same time she was who weren't preemies. Your little one is doing great!! =]

Jamie Lee - posted on 09/19/2009

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I know how hard it can be seeing your baby not accel as fast as other children. But remember those children were baked a little longer in the oven. Every baby does things at there own pace... your child will have his moments... but for now enjoy that he isn't moving that much. Believe you me its all down hill once they start creaping around and worse when the start running. Then you'll be jealous of those little babies that don't move and just smile. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Your a good mom. Your baby will accel once he is ready, so don't push him to grow up before he is ready. Or you can say to yourself what I always do "sure your kid can do that... but my kid is cuter!" LOL. Good luck hun and try not to stress out over the little things.... you only have this time for a breif moment.... then in breath its gone.

Lindsay - posted on 09/19/2009

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Don't worry...I know how hard it can be to watch other babies do things so much sooner than your preemie. My daughter was 12 weeks early and didn't crawl until she was 11 mos adjusted, but my friends little girl started walking a month before that and she was only 9 months old. It will take time, but your little one will hit his milestones, and it sounds like he is right on track to roll at 3.5 mos.

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