Problems being Jealous of Moms with FullTerm Babies??

Theresa - posted on 02/28/2012

i get like that alot. i feel the same way. i was and am still suffering with the fact that i could not carry my son to term and feel and experience the full pregnancy. i had wanted a baby for so long and it finally happened for me to not experience the full thing. i know i should not feel that way and i try not too but it is hard to not be jealous. and then friends who have full term babies can not understand why you would be jealous. i missed the last three months of my pregnancy. yeah you get that extra time with your little one but to watch them with tubes and wires all over them is not an easy thing to do. i struggled and still do struggle with it and my son is almost 1 years old.

Ralonda - posted on 08/28/2011

It is difficult but she will be fine my son had a colostomy bag and had his appendix out and those damn hernia's He had all that done before he was 4 months old. But he is 18 now and never had to be back in that hospital. So your baby will be okay.

Kushawn - posted on 08/28/2011

You are not alone. I have felt that way also. It is difficult to see moms who carry to term and have their newborns in their hospital rooms with them and then get to go home with them. I wonder if they realize and appreciate how blessed they are. I wonder if they know how it could have turned out for them.
I am a mom of two beautiful boys. The first was born when I was 36 weeks, and I had been in the hospital on bed rest for the four weeks prior to delivery. My second son was only 24 weeks and weighed 1lb. 9oz. I did not even get to hold him until he was 2 months old. My first pregnancy ended in a still birth, and 2 pregnancies after my second son ended in miscarriage.
So, I know how it feels to be jealous of women who do not realize how fortunate they are to have a "regular" full term pregnancy.
I know exactly how you feel.

Rebekah - posted on 08/25/2011

Very much so. I wanted that normal pregnancy and birth experience, after having my twin boys at 25w4d (I didn't even get to finish work!). I got and still do get cranky at people complaining about the late stages of pregnancy and "just wanting it out already". I tell them that is the best place for their baby. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE being pregnant so felt it was so unfair to not be able to experience it all (although I can say I went through a twin pregnancy without stretch marks......). I was so looking forward to being able to hold my baby straight after birth, but in the end with my next pregnancy which went to term I couldn't anyway as I had to go under general. But no, you are not the only person to feel that way.

Michelle - posted on 08/18/2011

OMG, I felt totally ripped off to be honest. Yes I do count my many, many blessings, however, I was just starting to feel the kicks and my belly had just started to pop when at 25 weeks my little "micro preemie" man decided he was bored and came into the world...I eventually got over my "ripped off" feelings but they were difinitley there.

Ralonda - posted on 08/16/2011

I had my son at 26 weeks and both of my sisters had their kids after me. I wasn't jealous just sad that my baby had to go through what he went threw. But he stayed in the hospital for 6 months And it was hard. But after he came home I didn't remember or care about our time apart ( even thou I was there everyday all day lol). But just be thankful that your baby is healthy because some of those kids are worse off then being just premature.

Yolanda - posted on 08/09/2011

no i felt like that too. but look it this way we were blessed god choose us for a reason they are miracles. these kids are fighters and strong to go through that at the stage they were at. we are blessed.

Sherrie-ann - posted on 08/09/2011

Yeah, for like a second, then I realize my son is super awesome and has an incredible birth story. He's a survivor, everyone is in love with him and he's way cooler than any full term baby just because he's alive.
I do have issues still with the time that I missed in his first weeks being able to bond with him as other moms did. I felt so out of place in the postnatal unit without a baby in a cot. Some full term moms would wish for that time when they didn't have to be up every few hours with a newborn. I try to make myself feel better by saying I didn't have to deal with that sticky dark stool that newborns have and I had more time to recover from my c-section.Still, I miss the newborn baby smell, cuddling, first moments bonding, especially cause he is my first and only baby. Also, they threw away his naval clip and I didn't even know it had come off. I wanted to keep it. But, I have a baby and many women don't so I feel so so so blessed even though he has mild cerebral palsy, in fact, especially because with all his health issues, he's so awesome.

Fran - posted on 08/09/2011

Hope your little one is doing ok. Its perfectly normal, i couldn't bare to be around pregnant friends, and still get mad when they complain about being heavily pregnant! (my premmie is 6 now) and it was also really hard to see him with full termers, even now he is loads smaller than his class mates, making it obvious he was prem, but he is an amazing little boy and our experience has made us both stronger and definitely close! We have an amazing bond despite being separated for the first 15 weeks of his life.
Keep positive. I went on to have a 39 weeker in september and enjoyed every minute of being pregnant! I had my maternity jeans on at 9 weeks! made sure i got my wear out of them this time.

Melissa - posted on 08/05/2011

You are definitely not alone! I was so sad that I did not get to hold my son right after he was born and was not there when my family saw him for the first time. I was sad that his birth was both the best day of my life and the scariest.

However, I remind myself that he is now healthy and that I am proud of how I handled his time in the NICU. I think that having been in the NICU first, I was more patient when I brought him home and he woke up in the middle of the night or cried for seemingly no reason - I was just so grateful that I could hold and comfort him rather than just stroking his head in an incubator.

I am saying prayers for your little girl - I hope she is home with her mommy very soon!

Marcie - posted on 08/04/2011

no you are not the only one that feels that way.I had a full term little girl but when i went to go try for a boy i got one but he wanted to come out at 29 weeks and 5 days so i didn't feel him move or kick and not to mention this was my last pregnancy i was having and then be done with having kids,so i feel like i one did not get to fully enjoy it,two did not bond as well as i did in the first one and three just wasn't prepared to go home without him.The day i left the hospital and had to leave him up there it felt like i was forced to give him up for adoption and it didn't help at all to see other women with full term babies leaveing with there babies :-( it really did hurt my heart and i didn't feel right until he was able to come home 56 days later.I know how you feel trust me i feel the same way(not always just every now and then).the reason my son came early i think is cause i was watching an extra child on top of my own child at the time and they threw the biggest temper tantrums ever!and other forms and kinds of stress but now my son is 3 years old and doing well,hek the wic office said he was on the verg of becoming over weight but i don't think he will honestly cause if your not on there charts then u r over weight to them which is stupid.But don't let it get you down just sit back and watch your children grow and get bigger everyday :-)

Acrena - posted on 08/04/2011

Thanks all. Its nice to know someone understands the feelings. My baby girl is still in the NICU. Her due date is a month away.. And her chronic lung disease is giving her alot of problems. It looks like well be here a while longer. It makes me sad to see the other babies who havent been here nearly as long as us going home and were still here.

Nicole - posted on 07/26/2011

No I felt like that after my girls came home, and other mom's were not having the issues or the amount of Dr. appt.'s we had to go to. But it only lasted a little while, b/c I know I trully have two very special girls. I hope you feel better.

Cristina - posted on 07/25/2011

I was jealous--and sometimes I still am and he'll be 2 in August. i still think of my due date Oct 17th and if he was a term baby if he'd still have the delays he has now. It is very frustrating and most moms dont understand unless they are in the same boat. And I hate when pregnant women say oh im so unconfortable I cant wait til this baby comes out--Um yes you can--theres 40 weeks gestation for a reason! You are definitely normal in feeling jealous. Im sure these feelings will eventually go away. Just be glad your babies are healthy!!!

Melissa - posted on 07/25/2011

I used to feel that way too, but like Caron mentions, remind yourself that you've gotten extra time with your children. A lot of the jealousy stems from guilt probably...I know I felt terribly guilty that my child had a rough start to life, as if I could have prevented it had she been born full term. I never reached a point of needing to wear maternity clothes and wasn't showing yet...I envied that "baby bump"...I didn't have her nursery finished and didn't have all the stuff I wanted to buy for her yet...I wished I'd had more time. In time you will feel less jealous and less guilt.

Oh Kylee, I cannot even fathom what you went through. My dd was only in the NICU and CCN for 33 days before coming home and it was excruciating for me. I can't imagine how devastating it is to have to leave the hospital each time knowing you can't take your precious child home with you. (((HUGS)))) I can only imagine how difficult that had to have been for you!

Caron - posted on 07/20/2011

Kylee, I’m sorry to hear about your experiences.... my lg was born at 31 weeks. She was in the ICU for a month. To me it was the worse experience of my life. Seeing all those tubes & monitors attached to your precious lo, it broke my heart every day. A person always thinks that what they experienced or went through was bad, until you hear someone else’s story.... so sorry to hear about your lo’s. I would not have coped if my lo was in hospital for 12 months. You are a very brave & strong person. I hope that your little angels are alright now?

Kylee - posted on 07/20/2011

Only time I got jealous with people who could take their babies homes and walk around the shops I felt Isolated and very upset even with the mums that come with their babies and it made me cry and when they asked why I wouldn't go near there baby I would cry and said they lucky to have their babies with them at all times.It really truly broke my heart knowing that I had my babies, but could not take them home and show them off, like some with full-term babies some of them also do not get the chance to go home due to maybe picking up illnesses. My first was born at 25 weeks and spent 12 months in hospital and my second was 33 weeks and spent 2 months in hospital and I had to travel in and out just to see them it was so hard seeing other people especially at shops and schools with their baby, I would go home and wish I had them full-term instead. But if I had another baby I would never be able to have a full-term baby due to body can't cope to full-term labour. So my ANSWER is YES being Jealous of people who get have a full-term healthy baby, Cause I get asked a lot of questions about full-term bubs I say sorry don't ask me about them I wouldn't have clue as my two have delays.

Caron - posted on 07/14/2011

Acrena, instead of feeling jealous towards full term mommies think that you got to meet your little angels a lot earlier than they will. My son was full term & my daughter is a preemie. Although feeling your baby kick & wiggle inside of you, it is so much better to be able to hold & bond with your baby.