Rebekah - posted on 07/18/2009 ( 25 moms have responded )
You know, I thought I was doing okay with the whole preemie thing. And then today I was looking through my sister-in-law's scrapbook of her son (who was born full term 2 weeks after our boys). It was amazing the emotions it brought up to see all their "bonding time" and the usual moments that happen when you have a baby properly.
I was very surprised to feel like that because I thought I was doing okay. But I'm jealous that she got those moments and we didn't. I'm sad that we don't have pictures of DH cutting the cord, of the first bath, all those moments we missed out on. You can't get them back. I can't do a scrapbook like she has done because we just don't have those memories.
I went and told DH how I was feeling, and whilst he kind of understands, he is just not good at comforting or knowing what to do when his silly wife gets emotional.
I don't know if it's just the day for feeling down, but now I'm holding one of my bubs and to see the scars on his hands - he's too small to have to have scars, but I guess it's proof that he was able to be saved, and it's because of modern technology and amazing doctors and nurses that he and his brother are here today.
Anyway, I just wanted to share as I know that you ladies will understand me. Thanks for reading.