Our grandson is out of control. Does anyone else have this problem?

Dawn - posted on 02/18/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Can anyone give me some info on preschool behavior and what these symptoms might disclose? My Grandson who is 3 yrs. 8 months has been showing some very impossible to manage behavior. It has become frightening knowing that there is something really wrong. At times he is very loving and changes to insubordinent and hateful in a matter of seconds. He can't control his actions and realizes he is doing and saying bad things but can't stop. He exhausts himself from the misbehavior and knows after this behavior is over that he has been bad. His parents are very patient with him but also become exhausted from these episodes. He may be fine for a few days, but will have 3 to 4 days that are bad. His parents have taken all food dyes out of his diet plus monitor sugars and dairy. He has been approved (through testing) for occupational therapy. He will be going for testing for petit maul seizures and blood testing for diebeties. We love our grandson and want to help him.

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Kelly - posted on 02/18/2012

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It sounds more like there are psychiatric issues here and extensive testing is required...

whatever the diagnosis.... structure and consistency in parenting is a must. Regular very structured schedule, consistent consequences for behavior, rewards and sticker charts for doing well, no surpises or chaosis, removal from situations of overstimulation, and always keep others (including himself) safe. If he is physically out of control there is a sort of constraining hug you can do. Sit on the floor with legs straight out and legs spread in a V, They are in front of you so you are "spooning", Their back to your front. Then their arms are like if they were in a straight jacket crossed in front of them and you hold their opposite wrists. You can help by putting your back against a wall to make it easier on you. It keeps them safe, provides the most safest and nurturing hold and you remain calm and don't try to talk to them while they are in a rage. Wait until it passes and then talk about it. If he liked you could quietly hum or sing a song but chances are he still might reject it if out of control. Keep in mind depending on his behaviors it depends on how often you reward or give stickers. Kids who act out frequently might get them every 15 mins. Some kids it could be every hour.

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Karley - posted on 03/08/2012

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If it were me, I would definitely be as patient as possible with him because it sounds like it is something that he cannot help doing. Definitely get his pediatrician involved and see what testing she might recommend.

I completely agree with Kelly about removing him immediately from a situation if becomes a a danger to others or himself. Until you get your testing results back, I would also recommend a reward chart for good behavior and when he fills that chart up with stickers for good behavior, he then receives a reward...ex: favorite ice cream dessert from dairy queen, small toy from dollar store...

I promise you, it will get better. It just takes lots of patience and time from everyone that is involved. Just always to continue to let your child know that he is loved and that he is not a bad kid....he is just doing unacceptable behaviors that need to be corrected now before he gets old enough where he will be set in his ways.

Good luck to you!

User - posted on 02/23/2012

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I agree with Kelly. The first step is proper parenting. Use reward system or time outs when needed. Structure, routine, etc.

Beyond that, the parents may need to have your grandson tested for other mental health issues. He really might be unable to control himself. However, even children with mental health problems need to learn there are consequences to their actions and that there is a difference between right and wrong. So keep that up and good luck!

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