If you have a preemie, you should read this

Mary Lynn - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 35 moms have responded )

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How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
(Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles."Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God."Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

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35 Comments

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Lyneeda - posted on 05/23/2010

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yes i am too glad to have someone truly understand my fears,my tears ,my bouts of depression!because he is going thru it too it makes the ride a little smoother to have that one!i must share this with my family it sums up my calling perfectly!

Lyneeda - posted on 05/23/2010

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now this brought tears to my eyes but joy to my heart they are tears of joy this just feels right i truly believe in this!!i wondered y me but never questioned god it is truly a blessing to be able to give life even if that life is an abnormal one thank him for it.you have to be a million things to deal with a sick baby an this makes 3 for me but its a miracle an i thank god for them everyday i don't care much about the way society feels my children are the most perfect in my eyes i wonder what it would like to have a normal child?now i tell myself just like the three i have.thanks for the insiperation for i am truly insipered keep up the good work doing gods work!!!

Jennifer - posted on 05/22/2010

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I wish I would have seen this when I was in the NICU... These words are exactly what I needed to hear then.. It was the answer to my question "Why me??" and "Why my family?" But I also agree with an earlier post... I never felt as if Grayson was anything less than perfect. He is our little miracle...

Kristel - posted on 05/12/2010

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I found this when my son was in the NICU and had it framed. I also gave out a copy of this and another poem to people at my baby shower. My family and friends loved it! =)

Nicole - posted on 05/11/2010

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Do you mind if I share this with some of my other moms of preemies on fb who are not a part of Circle of Moms? I know it would be very encouraging to them

Mandie - posted on 04/19/2010

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omg this is the most beautiful thing i have ever read thank u so very much this brought me to tears but happy tears not sad ones. i had never spoken to god till the day my son came home and while he was in hospital know every time since he has benn home we say a prey together as i put him to sleep every night thanking him for such a mirical lil man that he has given me to take care of thank u oh so much for this it was lovely to read xx

Ronke - posted on 04/14/2010

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That was very emotional... thanks for posting! Thanking God for choosing us specially for these special and miracle babies!

Kaytie - posted on 04/10/2010

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Thank you I really needed that. I dont know anyone else that has had a preemie so I had no one really to turn to and talk to about what I am going through. This made me feel so much better. Thank you again.

Jo-Ann - posted on 04/06/2010

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This is the sweetest thing I have read in a long time. It definatley takes special kinds of parents to have your children born prematurly. This post brought tears to my eyes.

Barbara - posted on 04/05/2010

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That was beautiful, thank you, it reminds me of the tough times we went through when our twins were born 11 weeks early at 2lb each, and how we have come through the other side with 2 strong & energetic 2 year old little boys.

Christina - posted on 04/04/2010

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That was beautiful and perfect. My daughter was born 6 weeks early, and see alot of myself in that

Helen - posted on 04/03/2010

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i had my son at 30wks and he spent 7wks in a neonatal unit when i finally got him home it was a huge relief but feeding him was a nightmare countless times to the Drs then Fletchers peadatrician suggested he might have an intolerance to milk and soya as the symptons are the same as colic ( the dr had prescribed everything for colic but nothing worked) he was taken off his Nutriprem formula and put on Nutramigen WHAT A BIG DIFFERENCE his bellybutton hernia disappeared within a day he was refusing his bottles and he had stopped crying it was bliss for him and me

April - posted on 04/02/2010

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I Loved this! I wanted children more then anything I lost 3 very early on the to have my first 2 months early, the next the same and my 3 was 1 1/2 months early it was had but feel it has maid me an even stronger mother. Thanks.

Rosalinda - posted on 03/29/2010

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Thank you for posting this. I agree with Helene God didnt just choose the moms but dads too.

Kay - posted on 03/25/2010

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When Kevin was born the Drs wanted him to be placed in an Institution warning me if we kept him we would probably end up in a divorce and no telling how our older children would get though it. When I went to say something to the Dr he said "I do not want hear anything right now or make any decisions now, give it a thought for a couple days." On the way home I felt it was very stupid to be sitting here thinking of giving my son away. Who in their right mind would give their child away because they were not normal. Kevin had sustained substantial brain damage at birth due to lack of oxygen getting to the brain, lung & liver problems. We were told he would more than likely stay in a vegetative state. Well 45 min into the drive home I told my husband there is no way I am sending my son anywhere. We will Love him to the day he dies, Gods Will, will be done. At the time I did not see that maybe I had been chosen but several years down the road, I could see that I had actually been raised to meet the demands of motherhood. Life had not been easy as a child and I had married at 14. Thinking I was ready for marriage. Apparently I was. We have been married 38 years and still going strong today. Kevin still lives with us and he is mobile and knows what is going on in his surroundings but does not talk. He is that of about 9 months to 2 years. It has been a long and tough battle and the battle continues. I was always one to climb that mountain and speak my mind. When it got tough, I was tougher. I Thank God every day for sending Kevin to us to care for. I have had a good life and I Love it. Thank You Erma, you have said it all. God Love each and every one of you and keep you safe.

Deb - posted on 03/24/2010

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This is soo beautiful. Thank you for posting it and thanks for making my make-up run :)

Kim - posted on 03/24/2010

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THIS IS KINDA HELPIN ME FEEL BETTER AND HELP ME DEAL WITH EVERYTHING IM GOIN THROUGH WITH MY 2 1/2 MONTH OLD SON MASON.HE WAS BORN AT 32 WEEKS AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A MONTH AND IS DOIN GREAT CONSIDERING BUT HE HAS TERRIBLE REFLUX AND IS VERY CONGESTED ALL THE TIME WE ARE DOIN EVERYTHING THE DOCTORS HAVE TOLD US BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO B WORKING AND MITE HAVE TO SEE A G.I DOCTOR AND WE R TRYIN TO GET A SECOND OPINION.KIM.G.

Helene - posted on 03/23/2010

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I think this post covers not just preemie mums, but a lot of preemie dads too. My partner and I have shared exactly the same journey, cried the same tears of sadness and both wept with relief, been consumed with fear of the future and shared joy at each and every milestone. Each and everytime in equal measure. I am so grateful to have him share this with me and am filled with respect and awe at all the mums who have to do this alone. ALL preemie parents....I salute you. xxx

Tina - posted on 03/22/2010

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Sorta nice. But I can't agree with one part... I never ever felt that my preemie wasn't perfect. True, he was smaller than a full-term baby but every one of his tiny fingers and toes was already perfect at birth. And he's only grown more gorgeous ever since!

Julie - posted on 03/22/2010

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My eyes are glassy as I write this, thinking about the miracles that both of my daughters and each and every one of all of your children are. Thank you so much for thinking to share this with us all . . . what a wonderful reminder to be so very grateful and to appreciate each and every moment that we've been given with (and away from!) our children, from those initial stressful ambulance rides and the countless hours in the NICU, to the here and now as we watch them grow and develop at their very own rates, unique in all their splendor. Thanks!

Megan - posted on 03/22/2010

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You have no idea how much this means. My twins were born 14 weeks premature, and one of my little boys is resting in heaven. Sometimes I just feel like I cant make it through the days, but thank you for this. It really made my day!

Brandie - posted on 03/19/2010

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This is a wonderful post. My preemie baby is now a healthly (though small) 4 year old. I sit here teary eyed thinking of all of the things that are true miracles that my son has done & is still doing. Thank you for this.

Ramona - posted on 03/17/2010

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Thank you. Thank you. These words made me cry. I see myself in all that is mentioned above. When it comes to laughter, I have always been known for my bright smile. Patience. I am an elementary school teacher. Thanks for the words about selfishness because being a single mom of a preemie, I look for occassions to be away from my son. Not that I don't love him because I love him with ALL my heart but I am consumed with working/playing with him to assist him in reaching various milestones. Finally, oh so true, I take nothing for granted. Not one single solitary accomplishment of my son do I feel nothing but warmth in my heart and praises in my heart to God.

Helene - posted on 03/13/2010

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As one preemie mum to another...thankyou for this, it left me even more assured that I am the best person for the job for guiding my wee boy on the road ahead (we accept it's going to be bumpy) xxx :)

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